Shiny Bright

These past couple of days haven't been the best, but I've survived far worse.
Yesterday I arrived at school late because my mom had turned off my alarm clock. Figures. I had a very long discussion with my history teacher about how I'm brilliant but not focused, capable but not willing, blah blah blah. He always seems to talk forever. He went on about my mother, too. I guess I'm starting to understand why she's the way she is sometimes, but she really can't accept that I'm not a small child any more. I also talked to him about my aspirations to be a youth minister. He referred me to my anatomy teacher, a former youth minister.
Unfortunately, I had missed my curfew last night without calling my mother, so my car has been taken away from being used for recreational purposes for I have no idea how long. I'm starting to understand, though, so it seems kind of fair. I've decided to start caring a little more, just for her.
I was late to school again, but I really don't care. I had lost my keys and spent the first two hours of my morning looking for them. It's the end of the year, so it doesn't really matter.
We had a fiesta in Spanish class today and no one really ate the chili I stayed up to make last night. Oh well.
Tomorrow exams start. Fortunately I'm exempt, so Zach and I will probably check ourselves out early to go get Taco Bell or something. I think I want to start practicing teaching the Bible on Zach. Might be fun. Though, I do need to get together that group for the summer. I'll get phone numbers tomorrow, and I should get a hold of Marcy! Hurrah!

Vinyl toys and Ima Robot are the best.
I look weird in pink nail polish... or rather, anything girly.
Getting closer to finishing the sock creature.
Daisy buttons!
Sleepy me.
Night.

I Wanna Be A Joel When I Grow Up

Yesterday wasn't all that epic, but it was still good. I drove over to Jensen with my mom and our first stop was Barnes & Noble, where they had crazy amounts of cupcake, baking, sewing, and origami kits and books that I wanted. Amazing. But we ended up getting a dang cool book about how to make neat things with cookie dough and this sock-creature making kit. The latter is my favourite; Zach and I started on one today and I'm stitching part of it now as I wait for Joel to get on instant messenger.
(blogspot is being gay again.)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaylaeff/2530359280/
Then she and I went to the mall to return my birthday/Christmas gifts from my cousin at Hottopic. Yay for amazing Slayer and Iron Maiden (it has vikings on it!!!!) shirts aaaaand the Early from the Squidbillies toy by KidRobot x Adult Swim. KidRobot is the best. EVER. Wetzel's Pretzels and the gumball machines at that mall are my new favourites.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaylaeff/2530357472/
Here's stuff I got Saturday.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaylaeff/2530354980/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaylaeff/2530353012/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaylaeff/2529534119/
And here's the anklet I finished for mom.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaylaeff/2530350874/
Today I stayed home from school for feminine reasons. It was pretty great. As I was writing a paper for my a.p. history class, God told me what he wants me to do with my life. It's kind of weird that he just put it in my head the way he did, but it was perfect timing. Youth minister. Although I don't know of any female youth ministers that exist, or if it's even possible, but I'll make it happen. Just call me Francois.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaylaeff/2530404312/
(self portrait Tuesday!) Anyway, being a youth minister would allow me to be as creative as I want, and still use psychology, which my mother is still making me go for. I guess she won't be happy unless I'm making more money than her. Oh well, this idea is better than any of the ones that I've had. I'm so excited and I know I could put all of my talents and new found loves of certain hobbies to good use. It's funny to think, though, I used to hate kids and talking. I'm glad I'm getting over that so quickly.
But that was the highlight of my day. I spent the rest of it taking Zach to the doctor and watching him be baffled by his sewing machine. I love hand-stitching though. He and I have tons of ideas for our Etsy and I can't wait to get it started. We'll probably have everything set up within the next couple weeks, or at least I'm hoping.
Anyway, back to sewing!

“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.”- Acts 20:24

1-888-956-7273

I never cleaned my room and I don't know where my mom's anklet went to. I still haven't finished it. Though, my mom gave me some of her old clothes. They'll all come in handy.
Today we went to Downtown West Palm Beach. I got a pair of shoes, an 'instant cup of flowers' (daisies!), some 'complaint' and 'just thought you should know' sticky notes, and tea tree therapy anticeptic cream and shea butter with lavender for my hives (which are working out pretty well so far). I really want some type of patchuli incence for my room.
I've been having some sinus problems, and I probably should've picked something up for that too. Yesterday I had some pretty bad nose bleeds, and I'm not sure why.
Zach and I are coming up with some pretty amazing ideas for our Etsy account. We need to make a paypal account and I've decided that I want to take pictures, acting out major happenings in my life; my way of coming out with some things I went through without having to explain anything.
I've been pretty bummed out today. I miss a lot of things, a lot of friends. Things are a lot different now, and I'm starting to see why I do and say the things that always seem to mess everything up, even more so now than I did before. Somehow, everything always leads up to my parents, haha. I looked though my old photobucket account, and 2006 was a good year. I miss it.
I'm really starting to lose who I am again due to my complete lack of motivation to do anything. I don't really know what I want right now.
I'm hungry and I'm tired and I hate having an unkept room. I think I'll sleep it all off.

Isle Of Her

Yesterday was pretty cool minus the heat. Everybody was pretty excited about class day and before the dodgeball tournament, there was some wierd belly dancer girl dancing to Mexican music. Zach and I decided that Cory would look so much better doing it. I'm excited to finally be a senior, but I don't think I'd want the end of the year to come. I have a feeling that next year has a lot of surprises waiting for me.
My mom had her first "date" with her "boyfriend" of 2 years, so she was gone from about 7 last night until 9 this morning. I decided to go to Zach's to hang out with him and his mom and watch a couple movies. I enjoyed it and I'm pretty amazed with myself and my sneaking out skills. I'm always able to get so much past her.
It was rainy all day today so I literally laid in bed for the entire day. It was good to catch up on my sleep, but it felt kind of wrong not being productive. Hopefully it'll be enough to get me through this last week and a half of school.
I think I'll use the rest of my day to clean my room and run a couple errands, maybe make a couple bracelets too. They'll probably be the first things that Zach and I put on our Etsy. We really need to get that going.
I also need to find a camo shirt to make a 'seniors '09' shirt for Tuesday. Exams start Friday and I won't have to take 3 of the 7. Yay! This week, I really need to get together the beginnings of a group for Bible Study club and meet with Mr. Matchett. I think I'll make a list.
Well, more later.

Good Song, Amazing Video

I hope this resembles my summer.

High School Low

It feels later than it really is. I didn't do anything worth noting today other than turning in my paper and making a shirt of which I'll post pictures of tomorrow.
Zach and I found little boys Spiderman pajama pants to make into sleeves and sew on to a shirt that'll be dyed red to mach. Hopefully Zach will have the courage to do it soon.
I'm pretty excited about tomorrow, this summer, next school year, the future.
Tomorrow is class day! I'll officially be a senior and miss a bunch of my classes. Definitely something to look forward to.
I asked Mr. Matchett about having a Bible study club next year at school and he said he'd be happy to support me, but due to the separation of church and state, I'd have to run everything myself. I don't have a problem with that though.
I've been pretty confused about something for a while. Why are there different Church denominations? I mean, I understand that each one holds different beliefs, but 1 Corinthians 1:10 says “[Divisions in the Church] I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.” It all seems to be based off of ignorance.
Anyway, today's verse is:
You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.”- Galatians 5:13
Bed time.

Getting Better All The Time

I don't really remember much about Monday or Tuesday. I've really been slacking.

All I've really been doingis running errands and making this shirt:I really like how it came out. Also, I never posted pictures of my art club shirt. I need to go back over the flowers again.The larger sizes on my Flickr look better. I think I want to make more ones with verses. I'm really enjoying it.

Hmm... I caught a spider yesterday. That was pretty epic. I also stood in line to buy one bag of cat litter for 40 minutes at WalMart. I ended up buying more bubblegum and a cooking magazine that I had enough time to entirely read, as well.

I'm going to start cooking as much as possible. I think I want to get a lunchbox next year and make myself lunches... and not boring sandwich ones either. I want to make a salmon thing this weekend. My mom should make me biscuits and gravy.

Kathleen's going to teach me how to make some pretty sweet bracelets, too.

10 more days left of school! I'm so excited. I really haven't been keeping up with anything schoolwise. I need to wake up early tomorrow and write a paper for my AP history class. I had a test in that class that I'm pretty sure I failed unless everyone else did poorly. Curves can be pretty amazing. I wish my anatomy teacher curved test grades. I think I missed quite a few on that test today too.

Yesterday I took a few pictures, when I was dyeing my shirt, that are all on my Flickr. I think this one is my favourite.

Zach and I are going to make some masks to match the leopard, lion, and she-wolf that are in The Divine Comedy. Zach checked it out for me from the public library since I've never had a library card and I'm not old enough to get one. On my 18th birthday, I want to go to get a library card, a blockbuster card, and a checking account.

I can't stop colouring and I need to go to bed. Pray for Zach, he's sick.

Night.

... And Does Anything I Say Seem Relevant At All?

(postsecret.com)

Saturday my mom was out of town for the whole day and I really didn't have much to do. For the most part, I just sat around all day then visited Zach and went to WalMart/GoodWill. Fabric dye, Batman band aids, sharpies, TLC 'Waterfalls' single, watermelon bubblegum, and a few shirts. Watermelon bubblegum and Batman are my new favourites. Cartoon Network showed two movies with Batman, one with both Batman and Scooby Doo! Old Scooby Doo's are the best.

I was pretty upset that I didn't do much, but then I decided that I probably should just appreciate the opportunity to relax. There's so many things that I want to get done and so many things that my mother and school require me to do that I often overwhelm myself and end up not doing anything. This weekend I think I should devote a few hours to looking some things up in the Bible.

Yesterday, I did a lot of chores and ran some errands with my mom. I always hate it when she criticizes how I drive. The day ended with making chili and cupcake cones. I'm beginning to think that it might be a good idea just to stay here for a while. God will lead me to where I need to go, I guess.

Today, not only was I on time to school, but I got a lot of errands done. Although, I didn't do a lot of what I wanted to, I probably shouldn't think about that. Zach and I went to the library and he checked me out The Divine Comedy since I can't get a card yet myself. I'm pretty excited about starting it.

I can't wait until school's out. Two more weeks! Life will seem so much better.
I want to rent as many movies as I can find with Lillian Gish.

It's time to embrace Summer.

Elephantine

I have a headache and I feel pretty tired. My hives are continuously spreading and I can't seem to find any good cures on the internet.

I don't recall mentioning the sheep heart dissection in anatomy on Wednesday. I was allowed to sit out, so there's not much to say about it. Though, a cross section was shoved in my face and it looked rather steak-like. It was covered in fat and really gross.

Yesterday I served my extended day, meaning I stayed 2 hours after school, ridding the ENTIRE campus of trash. The temperature must have at least reached 95 and I don't think I've felt that dehydrated in over 3 years. The punishment feels a little illegal, but it's definitely effective.

Today I got to school on time, but the shoes I wore made blisters on my heels; I've realized most of my shoes do this. I wasn't able to turn in any of my assignments because I didn't do them, but it didn't really bother me. I got to spend a little time with Zach after completing tons of chores. Taco Bell has a pretty sweet new slushie thing deal. I recomend the mango one.

I found a bracelet that I had made in middle school. Rainbow flowers are where it's at.

I'm starting to collect things in a cardboard box that were either given to me by friends or extended family, or that I bought myself. It'll make things more convinient when I want to leave in December.

It made me laugh when my mom came home crying because she was tired. If only she knew.

My mind never sleeps.

I want to read the original Bram Stoker's Dracula, rent monster movies, apply for a library card, get a job at GoodWill, plant a garden, find a good sea salt scrub, make a wind chime out of sea shells and a dream catcher, buy silly temporary tattoos and designate one for each and every day, go to Disney and buy tons of merchandise, alter clothing from thrift stores, find ink and a screen and start screen printing, buy sidewalk chalk and spray paint to write inspiring messages on things in town with, make tons of different kinds of rainbow bracelets, go to every museum in the state, make decorative cupcake cones, find a decayed spot and take self-portraits, make whatever comes to mind out of polymer modeling clay, find tons of different masks, buy a lomography fisheye camera, learn to cook something that is really difficult to cook, buy lawn flamingos and take pictures of them in peculiar spots, write a song on one of my guitars, tie dye anything and everything in every colour possible, make a flock of origami birds with flower-printed paper, paint and make necklaces out of sea shells, find heart-shaped sunglasses, fix up the vintage alarm clock I found in my shed, paint my nails something other than black, sleep.

My God knows just how to quiet my busy mind and set my restless soul at ease.

"... He will rejoice over you..." ... and he does.

"... You'd Leave With Nothing"

In the end, my life's never turned out the way I wanted it to.
I don't know whether to let go and let my mother make all of my decisions for me, when I long for self-sufficience more than anything; or fight back, even though the effort would be futile, my labors bearing unfruitful.
It bothers me that she insists that this house and everything in it is hers, when it, and most of my things, were bought for me by my father. I'm starting to wonder how life would living with him compare.
I'm considering moving in with Zach and his family this December. I don't really know how that would turn out. I'll be praying.
It bothers me that she also insists that she is right about everything and that she knows everything. There has yet to be anything as far-fetched to reach my ears. Sometimes I wonder if she realizes how self-indulgent she is in her game of playing God with her only child. For the most part, I believe she is without God, only pretending to set an example.
I don't think I'll ever be perfect enough, alone enough, smart enough, nor as willing as she'd want me to be. She purposely makes me feel devalued every time we fight. I'm beginning to get more hives from this stress.
I want to make a shirt with Mathew 10:31 and sparrows.
I'm starting to read Ecclesiastes 11. Verses 7 through 10 are my favourites.
"Light is sweet, and it pleases the eyes to see the sun. However many years a man may live, let him enjoy them all. But let him remember the days of darkness, for they will be many. Everything to come is meaningless. Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment. So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body, for youth and vigor are meaningless." Ecclesiastes 11:7-10
I'm glad I put up reminders around my room. Instead of letting go and letting mother, I think it's best if I let go and let God.
All I really want now to keep my mind at bay is a garden.

Whoops

I haven't updated this in a while. I had a busy weekend, kind of.
Saturday my mother and I took her car to get serviced and have her actuator looked at. She had to come home with a loaner car for the week and she's pretty upset about that. She always complains about having to miss work... slash she complains about everything involving money. She worries too much and it doesn't change no matter how much I pray. It's really discouraging.
From the Lexus dealership we went to the Sawgrass Mills mall and got a few things. It's funny how the only things that ever appeals to me when I'm shopping are dresses haha. We had stopped to get smoothies and ran into my my mother's sister's family, so we went to visit them after dinner. We went to The Melting Pot for an early Mothers' Day dinner, which took forever to complete. My mother and I stayed at my aunt's house until midnight and didn't get home until about 2 am, my excuse for not updating Saturday. It was a decent day overall.
Sunday my mom had realized that she forgot her work keys in her car at the dealership, so she spent all morning retrieving them. When she got back, I drove us over to the beach in Jenson where we stayed for a couple hours. The water was the calmest and clearest I've ever seen an ocean look. It looked like one giant piece of glass and that piece of glass brought a lot of peace looking into it... or at least until mullet fish started swimming toward me. I hate my fear of fish. My fears seem almost absurd at times. Afterwards, we went to the mall to get new flip flops. Sometimes that area seems like such a nice place to live, but I think I'd much rather move to a place that already feels like home.
My cousin and I have decided to room together at Nova, since she's going as well. Although, she's a year behind me. I'll just worry about that when the time comes to move.
While I was there, my aunt gave me my birthday present since I hadn't seen them in about a year. It was a bunch of stuff from Hottopic and I was pretty amused. My interests have changed so much and so fast, I have no idea how anyone is able to keep up. The only sound satisfaction I've found thus far is Him, and I guess it's supposed to be that way.
My mom didn't seem to be that happy with her Mothers' Day present, but I liked it a lot.
(the website is being incredibly gay and won't let me add any pictures, so I'll just be adding links)
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2197/2493300983_5f26de08b2.jpg?v=0
My mother bought me a new clothing iron, so I finished my art club shirt. The tie dye didn't work out the way I wanted it to in the beginning, so I just tie dyed the whole thing. I really like it, I just want to make the colors brighter, so I'll take pictures of it when I do so.
I also put a bunch of new music up too... well, it's mostly The Acorn, but I love it.
Monday I sat around all day. I don't really like sitting around any more. But I was late to school that day... like 2.5 hours late haha. I'm tired of school.
I also tried to get another application from GoodWill, but the lady, who didn't speak very good English, said that there wasn't any. I think she was lying.
Yesterday Zach and I finally opened our Etsy account! Yay! We'll start posting things on it soon. The fees kind of suck, but I know it'll be a lot of fun.
At school, my flip flop broke, so I had to hobble to 3 dollar parking lot like an idiot. No fun.
It was self portrait Tuesday and I didn't take a picture. Bummout.
When I was at Zach's house that day, they got a phone call that (I guess) D.C.F. was going to take Zach's little adopted sister away from his family and give her back to her terrible mother who was just released from prison. It made me really sad to see Zach cry the way he did. I told my mom about it and she reminded me of when I was about to turn 3 and she got arrested for cocaine and a D.U.I.. I really don't know what would have happened to me if I didn't grow up with my own parents. Also, I don't really know how the officials could say that she won't remember this because she's too young. I remember my mother being taken away and having to stay with my grandparents. It's all just really upsetting. She means so much to them.
Today was pretty crazy. I was late to school again and was called up to the dean's office where I almost got expelled for all my tardies. I love Mrs. Cantral, even though I still have to have an "extended day". I don't feel like spending an extra two hours at school, picking up trash with my anatomy teacher.
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2096/2494119780_2ace15d683.jpg?v=0
I am always late to everything and I never get anything accomplished any more. That's about to change.
Mom asked me if I was sexually active for the first time today. It was so awkward... I loved it. Funniest thing EVER.
I love keeping up with the Johnny Cupcakes blog. He wears his own clothing too, which is pretty neat. I want to make some sort of clothing label the way he did. It always looks like so much fun and he takes some pretty neat pictures sometimes.
I want to do something that gets noticed. I want to do something that stands out. I have no motivation with the exception of these wants. Sometimes I think that my wants are unattainable for me because of this.
There's other little things I could discuss, but I've been working on this one update for a couple days and it's been at least 4 since I've last updated anything at all, so it's time to post this thing.

Words To Live By

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”- Proverbs 31:30

I'll have an update in the morning.

Don't Get So Uptight

I want to recreate this picture.

It's A Story That Makes Everybody Sad

I really didn't do much yesterday... again. But that's okay because I had to take the a.p. national u.s. history exam (which I was late for!) and I didn't really want to do anything. That is the hardest test I ever plan on taking; 80 multiple choices and 3 essays. It took pretty much all day, so I plan on relaxing for the whole weekend.
Zach and I went to see the school play last night. They said it was their best preformance. I think I'll go again tonight if I can make it.
My mom's had quite the attitude lately. I really hope God helps her soon. She depends on no one but herself, and she's proud of that.
I've got a lot of things to figure out. Maybe I can convince my mom to take me to Nova's library so I can read the Bible a little since we're going to Ft. Lauderdale today. I find such peace in my future home.
I thank God for Joel everyday. I really don't know where I'd be without him.

Untitled

For the past two days I haven't done much, but enough to keep me content. Yesterday I made this sweet rainbow bracelet from thread and elastic to make part of it stretchy enough to fit over my hand.

I also went to GoodWill with Zach to get his shirt for art club and I picked up a few more tapes for my car. I'm pretty stoked about the B52s one.

I've had this awkward happiness feeling in my gut and I don't know what God wants me to do right now. I guess I have to test it out to see if it's worth holding on to. It feels so strange though; I've never felt this sort of happiness before. I really just want to know the outcome of everything for the next few years so I know what to do with my life.
I put up some prayers on my prayer wall and put some in my prayer box, and ran a few errands.
Today we made shirts in art club. They all look so great. I'll post pictures of mine once I get it finished. Afterwards I took a short nap and some pictures of the back yard.
Andrew is dumb so I had to help him move out of his house, but in return he and Zach helped me make some charoset for tomorrow. I'll sure need it with that a.p. national exam that's scheduled to take up over half of my day.
I found the tabs for Kissing The Lipless by The Shins and I think I want to try it out tomorrow. If it works, I'll probably do a couple more.
Pictures will be taken tomorrow! I just hope a good setting isn't hard to get at.
I'm so hungry and I really need to get to bed. 5:30 am tomorrow!

Mac & cheese time!

2012

It's been a good day, but in a strange way. But I'm happy, in a way I haven't ever been... and it feels good.
I'll type about today when I wake up in the morning.
I'm waiting for my mom to come home from a Kid Rock concert and it's almost 1 am.
I don't know if I can sleep without her here. I feel so vulnerable sleeping in an empty house.

Soul Seeker

There are...

7 months until I turn 18.

13 months until I graduate high school.

39 months until I leave for 954.

... and I'm excited.

God's starting to restore the desire to go out and do things, thankfully. I REALLY need to find a way to not be tired every second of my life. It's super frustrating.

I had a terrible migraine today, so I didn't get much done. Actually, the only thing I got done was getting a sandwich. Well, aside from the tiny bit of laundry I did. I need to start using that planner again and do tons of things!

Tomorrow I want to go to GoodWill and buy/alter some things, wash my car, rent a couple movies, study for my a.p. exam, clean my room, and find a good place and take pictures.

These phases of being happy and not being happy with my life are really confusing. Maybe I should pray more. I want to read the Bible more, too. At art club Thursday, I'm going to present the idea of a Bible study group for the summer to the members.

I need a job really bad too. I filled out my application for GoodWill today, so I'll try to remember to return it to GoodWill.

I really can't wait to go to the beach again this weekend. I had forgotten how relaxing it is... I just need to remember to use the proper sunscreen haha.

Only one more month until the summer! I want to read the original Bram Stoker's Dracula; I didn't really understand it when I read it in 6th grade.

There are so many things I want to do now. I'll pray for them. I love being excited about living.

I pulled out one of my guitars today. I forgot how beautiful it sounds. (Self Portrait Tuesday #3)

My mom showed me some pictures from the 60's and I took some pictures of the "backyard".

Old septic tanks are nasty and they smell funny.

I want to draw again. I'm really inspired by these. We're having a lot of difficulty with the screenprinting in art, but we'll be making club shirts Thursday... somehow.

I'm really confused by today's verse; “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”- James 5:16

Does that mean we have to go to confessional? I'm so confused. Maybe I'll make some time to call Joel tomorrow, too.

It's bed time, though.

Night.

I Truely Am Unbrakable

Today's verse was definitely meant for me;

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”- Philippians 4:6-7

Anxiety is probably the biggest problem I face. Another thing to add onto my prayer list.

In fact, I made a prayer wall tonight and put it next to my sketch from last week. I put a few up so far.

I don't really know what inspired me to make this, but I think I'll change out the big prayer notes with smaller ones so I can fit more in the space provided. I really like it though; it'll help me remember things.

I'm constantly amazed at the change and progress I've, or rather, God made within myself. I'm so happy that He's putting things together for me.

School was kind of strange today. I got a D on my anatomy test, something that doesn't happen often, and a friend of mine in my Spanish class asked me to the military ball. I'm terrible at rejecting people; I hate it.

Zach and I really didn't get much accomplished either. No errands, just a Taco Bell box and a moneyless trip to GoodWill. I found a couple more tapes. We'll need to go back soon.

Tomorrow he and I'll be taking pictures for self portrait Tuesday. I really need to see Bradley/Clayton/Kathleen/Sarah soon.
Mothers' day is soon. I plan on finishing this since I don't have any money.

I need to become more social and keep myself busy. Next year I think I want to join a new school club or two and this summer I want to start a bible study group. I'm starting to highlight some of my favourite verses that I think I can teach from in the Bible Joel and Josh got me. I plan on starting out with a group of people I'm comfortable with, probably a few girls from art club and Zach, before I start branching out. I may not move at a fast pace, but I get the job done.

I really wish I could talk to Joel more. I want a little guidance with it all.

Well it's past midnight. More tomorrow :)

Too Many Thorns

So I haven't felt like typing these lately, although I really need to. I really need to get back to doing everything. I need to cook more, clean more, and do more assignments. I need to do everything more.
Yesterday I got the bulbs in my tail lights replaced and I also sanded and resurfaced my headlights all by myself! I rule. (before/after)
For the most part, I just sat around yesterday. There were some entertaining things on T.V., though. But I did make chili and give it to my dad. I don't think I'll ever love my father, even if I should. Self-pity is annoying and I don't like being told that remodeling the house is pointless because I'm going to get pregnant and run off with a "gypsy boy". I'll pray about it.

I took a short jog last night, too. Even if it was extremely short and it was during the evening, I enjoyed it. I probably should have been carrying mase haha.

The argue with I had with my mother when I had come home is starting to make me wonder how I could've possibly come from the parents that I have. Seven more months and I won't have to put up with my mother's agressiveness and telling God to damn me. Sometimes I truely think that Satan also impregnated a women with his spawn and the product is my mother.

Watching I Am Ledgend with her wasn't that bad, though... because she was asleep haha. It was a pretty good movie, but no where near original. Better movies should be made.

Today I went to the beach! My legs got terribly sunburnt and I decided that SPF 4 is not sufficient enough. The water was really nice, though. Ow!

Best mother-daughter bonding time is when we don't speak to eachother. She let me drive again, so I'm hoping I'll be able to drive out of town by myself soon. We went to Micheal's too! So Zach and I are probably going to be making crafty whatnot sometime.
I want to start a prayer group really bad right now. I also want this shirt really bad hahah

Tomorrow should be a busy day! I want to get as many things accomplished as possible.
Ice cream then off to bed!

P.S. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!

Phone Home

I fell asleep watching E.T. last night. I love that movie. I think I want to rent it soon.
I really didn't do much yesterday; just dyed my hair, painted my toe and finger nails, and went out to eat with Mom. I'm pretty excited about the lack of blonde in my hair. It finally matches my eyebrows and I won't have to worry about dying any roots. It seems a little dark to be my natural hair colour, but it's probably because of the pale I've been working on for the past two years. I'm really happy with it though. I'm going to try to take pictures today as well as some of the back yard so far.
I'll type more later, I'm off to see the best gay uncle ever. Haha Fag hag '08.

By The Way...

You should press the pause button on that sweet music in the top right corner of this page and check out this video. I love it :)

La Chupicabra? El Chupicabre?

I have a terrible feeling in my stomach. It was a bad day.
I arrived late to my first class, not that I really care about being on time any more, and we spent the whole two hours discussing my teacher's financial problems. I rather would have carved out my eyes with a plastic spoon from the cafeteria. No art club; bummout. BK with Kathleen, Bradley, Sarah, Clayton and two orders of large fries. I made art on the tray paper, breaking Sarah's left over fries and smashing the grease out of them and onto the paper. I decided it would make an effective display for a getting healthy campaign.
I'm out of money and wondering how much I could save if I didn't eat any more. Ha more parking money! Yo necessito un trabajo.
Bradley is gone for the weekend and Clayton is never available, so I'm hoping to see Kathleen and Sarah sometime during the next few days.
I went to Zach's and watched Scooby Doo. Things need to be taken care of, El Chupicabro.
I met up with Kathleen and Sarah at the play and it was amazing! Becca was great! But I have to say, Harley was my favourite part. He's so tall and lanky and awkward, yet oddly charismatic, that he somehow was able to make me laugh during every song he danced in. Eljay was pretty hilarious too. I think I want to go again tomorrow, even though they didn't give very much recognition to the art club.
The construction people are starting to replace our septic tank and get the back yard ready for building. Today they tore down the back porch, the shed, a couple fences, and my tripod trees! It's actually kind of sad looking. I need to find another spot to take pictures, I guess.
I've got a lot on my mind, so I guess I need to pray about it all. I haven't eaten since 11 something this morning, almost 12 hours ago and I just realized it. Weird... I'm not all that hungry.
I'm fascinated at the odd and crazy things I'm attracted to. Sometimes I feel like looking completely ridiculous, but I ALWAYS do. Haha.
My body aches from doing different things all day. I have an appointment tomorrow at Michelle's. No more yucky blonde, yay!
Well, night.