After doing Megan's hair and makeup for Amber's birthday party, I watched 'The Mist' and 'Girl, Interrupted' with Clayton and my mom. Watching the latter reminded me a lot of myself.
I wish my life prior to this moment could have been simpler, but I'm sure everyone else would like the same. Zach's beginning to add to the chaos. I think it's God telling me that it's time to let go.
"Test everything. Hold on to the good." - Joel the bear.
I think I crashed my car because He wants me to be more social. Seeing as I won't have a car for a bit, I'm going to have to bum rides to get out of my house, which is something I'm so accustomed to now and cannot stand being here for very long.
I become more and more surprised at the reactions of others the more I think about them. I've come to the conclusion that I will not find any compassion among any of these people who live in this world. I've decided to let my strength define me.
Joel hasn't called yet. I feel a little hopeless. I depend too much on him, but I don't feel like I have much else of physical means. By spiritual means, I feel I am abundant, but I tend to forget the feeling it gives me too easily and am quickly wound up in myself again.
I really want Yann Tiersen on my iPod. Or some melodramatic showtunes. Something instrumental. Something I can think to without my thoughts getting tangled up in annoying lyrics.
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