Joel (4/19/2008 9:49:55 PM): Hey are you there
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:50:06 PM): silly joel, of course i am!
Joel (4/19/2008 9:50:31 PM): Nice I this is the first time i di this it is all 4 u
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:50:53 PM): haha yay!
Joel (4/19/2008 9:51:09 PM): How was yesterday?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:51:52 PM): ha it was pretty fun. the waves have been pretty fierce lately, but it was okay.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:52:31 PM): still hating work?
Joel (4/19/2008 9:53:09 PM): Yeah today kind of sucked at work. But i know God will help me find something else
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:53:31 PM): i have a feeling he will
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:53:41 PM): what happened today? anything unusual?
Joel (4/19/2008 9:54:39 PM): How nice. You type fast. No i just got cussed out and felt like i did not feel like fighting. So at times like that i just give up and want to leave, but i did not and made fun of the kids.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:55:15 PM): duh i type fast, i took a class in clerical occupations
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:55:30 PM): but that sucks about work
Joel (4/19/2008 9:55:56 PM): Yeah, I enjoy reading your blogs, they are pretty amazing!
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:56:34 PM): that's because i'm amazing, silly!
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:57:29 PM): although i really feel like i should be doing more with them
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:57:45 PM): like helping people but i don't really know how yet
Joel (4/19/2008 9:57:55 PM): Yeah it reminds me of a thing i used to do about processing a day P.A.C.E it stands for seeking where you saw God's presense, his activity, his calling, where he is extending the call. I hope that makes sense.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:58:22 PM): it does
Joel (4/19/2008 9:58:44 PM): Yeah it is all about seeing God in your day or event and having better ones.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:00:08 PM): it does help a lot, but it's kind of not fun because i'm a little too impatient to take it a day at a time, but i guess that's why i'm writing them. i just want the days to go faster.
Joel (4/19/2008 10:01:00 PM): But it seems like you are really thinking well about your days and you have a good concept of reality.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:01:47 PM): well that's nice to know! a lot of people seem to think otherwise
Joel (4/19/2008 10:02:34 PM): If you are typing fast and just writing your thoughts then you have a ton of wisdom and maturity that others don't see. I am proud.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:02:48 PM): yay!
Joel (4/19/2008 10:03:08 PM): How are you lately?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:03:24 PM): i guess i'm okay
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:03:33 PM): i've been fighting with my mom a lot
Joel (4/19/2008 10:03:57 PM): About?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:04:10 PM): i asked her to sign a permission paper for me today so i won't have a class first hour next year and she got really angry
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:04:19 PM): she always wants to push me too hard
Joel (4/19/2008 10:04:42 PM): YEAH, it seems like she won't quit i guess
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:04:50 PM): i really don't think i'm supposed to have some fancy career that makes tons of money
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:04:59 PM): i think i'm supposed to be happy
Joel (4/19/2008 10:05:43 PM): Couldn't hurt though. Yeah some say God made you to be holy, not happy. I believe both happens.
Joel(4/19/2008 10:07:26 PM): At some point you will have to follow God in your career path, but you have a ton of potential.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:07:54 PM): yeah that's what i meant... but like i really don't see the point in pushing myself to the point of insanity to bring up my gpa like .4 so i can get a job i won't be happy with just to make a lot of money and make my mom happy
Joel(4/19/2008 10:09:10 PM): Yeah you were meant for college though. I know that you will begin to become more independant and what you will value will be different from your moms values.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:10:30 PM): and today she took away my car until i read two huge things about the labor movement and write a paper about them and i have to do it by tonight... meaning i won't get to sleep because we're going to my grandparents in the morning in the orlando area
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:10:50 PM): advanced placement classes are stupid, joel
Joel (4/19/2008 10:11:08 PM): Why the labor movement?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:11:39 PM): it's for my american history advanced placement class. it's what we're currently studying
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:12:04 PM): we have to do these huge papers that count for 40% of our grade pretty much every week
Joel (4/19/2008 10:12:32 PM): Wow you will think college is easy
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:12:39 PM): probably
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:12:54 PM): but i can tell you i won't be taking any of these classes next year
Joel (4/19/2008 10:13:05 PM): Good
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:13:22 PM): not only because i don't want to, but because i've kept a consistant D average and they won't let me ahahha
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:13:40 PM): but i did sign up for bible 1 and 2 with the same teacher
Joel (4/19/2008 10:14:02 PM): That is making your mom mad, but thatis whatis best. Awsome you will love it
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:14:30 PM): i'm excited but i hope it won't be too hard
Joel (4/19/2008 10:14:48 PM): No you will just learn a good overview of the bible
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:15:22 PM): we've got this national a.p. test coming up in a month or two and it's supposedly the "hardest test we will ever take" and it's making me break out in hives
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:15:40 PM): i plan on reading my entire text book the week before hahah
Joel (4/19/2008 10:16:00 PM): What does it matter? You are awsome with out any test
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:16:22 PM): that's what i said but these old people like 'em for some reason
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:16:57 PM): i think i get college credit if i pass, but i'm just going to go to college any way
Joel (4/19/2008 10:17:23 PM): If you think it is valueable i know you will do well
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:17:50 PM): who knows joel, who knows
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:17:58 PM): but you know
Joel (4/19/2008 10:18:20 PM): Are you still bummed about Clint
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:19:44 PM): i was thinking the other day when i was driving home from school and i thought about how many things i want and i imagined myself in the shoes of people who have those things, success and whatnot, and i really didn't feel any different. i think that yearn for something will always be there and i should just be content with what i have and what i'm able to reach and not push myself
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:19:51 PM): kinda a little
Joel (4/19/2008 10:21:12 PM): Yeah I see that if you chase after what God desires satisfaction will come. Have you spoke to clint or r you done?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:21:41 PM): no, we don't speak at all
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:22:06 PM): but it's not really that i'm bummed because of clint, i'm bummed about the loss of a close friend
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:22:34 PM): i honestly feel like it could have been any one else if i had those same ties to them and i'd still feel the same way
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:22:44 PM): that and i feel really bad for him
Joel (4/19/2008 10:23:34 PM): Yeah i hope some how you guys could be at a peace but he needs to mature some
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:24:01 PM): well i guess you can't blame him, he's a boy ahah
Joel (4/19/2008 10:24:50 PM): Yeah it is true. Try to find out his im thing it epic something?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:05 PM): but i don't know if i'd ever want to speak to him again after what he said
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:13 PM): oh yeah, it's epicrules1
Joel (4/19/2008 10:25:34 PM): Thanks, what did he say
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:41 PM): actually, he said:
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:45 PM): clint (4/14/2008 1:34:02 AM): hahaha glad you got all that out please try and stay away from me for the rest of your life, id really appreciate it, and try to get on some meds for your fucking craziness, everyones right ya know your fucking crazy ahahaha and fake, but yeah wish i had more time to laugh at you but i dont so cry a river
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:51 PM): etc, etc
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:26:58 PM): clint (4/14/2008 1:24:28 AM): i see the real you and im repulesd
Joel (4/19/2008 10:27:14 PM): Wow that was unexpected? I guess you should leave it alone.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:27:33 PM): that's what i'm telling you silly
Joel (4/19/2008 10:27:47 PM): Yeah I am dumb.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:27:48 PM): he's kinda... uhhh... not someone i'd ever want to be friends with again
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:27:53 PM): no you're not!
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:28:00 PM): you're joel the bear!
Joel (4/19/2008 10:28:42 PM): I am i got to go hibernate because i have to go to work early. This is cool though!
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:29:06 PM): okay joely. i'll talk to you later then! goodnight
As awkward as it sounds, I've been crying an awful lot lately, but not because I'm sad; because for the first time I actually feel cared about and loved. I don't know why it took me this long to feel this, God's always been there, but it I've got to say, it's the greatest feeling in the world.
I've got this large list of things I want to get done in the next few days.
After tidying up my room a little, I put up the prints I had done last quarter in art class on the inside of a cabinet door in my room. They look horrid because they didn't line up right, but I still love them anyway.
It's time to work on that paper!
But first, I did assignment #51:
First, it seems neccisary to have my body go through some type of typical preserving or embalming process. After I would like to be completely covered in several layers of white paint, nude, to make a sort of canvas. Then I would want my friends to recreate their favourite piece of art work that I had done while I was alive in acrylic paint, using small detail brushes. Once my body was completely covered in my friends' renditions of my art, I would want to be dropped into the bottom of lake Okeechobee to decompose.
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