The weekend is here and I can feel it! Tomorrow will be the last chance to put the final touches on things for the play, although I'm pretty sure we're already done. Maybe we can work on the mural! I'd have Sammy to help, so it wouldn't be so bad.
Today was progress report day, and I'm not sure how I feel about how I'm doing.
English 3 - A (YES! I haven't been sleeping haha)
AP American History - D (Yay! I'm not failing!)
Art 2 - A
Anatomy - F (I have a test to make up)
Intergrated Math 3 - C (I have assignments to turn in)
Spanish - B (WHAT?! This makes me sad)
I guess I'd have to see how I'm doing in about a week to really know what's going on with all of that.
Today was also jail and bail. It was super gay. I want to make our class' jail and bail ten times better than that, so I'm hoping to have one of next year's class officers in a class or two.
Everywhere I look, I see some couple getting engaged, or some kids kissing at school, a couple girls fighting over some boy, etc. It seems to me that the world sort of revolves around the idea of having some type of romantic partner. It makes me laugh a little because I know, and am comfortable admitting, that I was once a part of that. It seems so ridiculous to me now that anyone my age would even care about something as such. To get so worked up over something that has a 99% chance of just backfiring on you is, what I believe to be, a sign of insanity. I guess the world is that full of hopeless romantics. It seems to me that the world's (or at least what I've seen in this small portion of it) idea of love is a litte warped, keeping it restricted to the idea of some type of mate. My suggestion to them would be to look at this. I was thinking and I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather not be so inclined to put myself out there romantically for a boy; I'd be content staying busy, doing something that makes a difference for people, and I'm glad God gave me that desire to change my world and the apathy towards things I really don't need. It reminds me of the days in my freshman year that I wanted to become a nun and join the convent. Haha.
My tummy hurts. I probably shouldn't eat Milk Duds again. Oh well.
I took a 3 hour nap after I got home from art club and I don't know how I'm going to be able to get back to bed. I'll make it work somehow.
I'm excited for the weekend, even though I don't have plans and will probably end up staying home for the entire thing. No school is no school and that's all that counts. I think I'll want to sketch or maybe go take pictures of something pointless. Who knows.
I'm also excited about seeing the play tomorrow! I love the 40's and 50's, so I'm thinking I'll enjoy it, regardless of the turnout. It makes me want to rent Cry Baby. Maybe I'll do that this weekend.
I have a car full of soda and only one class to attend to tomorrow.
I need to wash that car and pester my mother about fixing it's broken tail light. She'll never get it done unless I continuously poke at her to do it.
Well, it's time to get ready for tomorrow and try to sleep!
"For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit[f] of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way" - Ephesians 15-23
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Stumbeline
It's Tuesday and I didn't take a self portrait! Darn.
Today I was so caught up in the stress of trying to get things done by tomorrow in art club. The drama club's play, "Leader of the Pack", is Thursday, so we're having to cut music notes, records, and old cars out of cardboard (which is really hard!) and paint them. We got so much done today, even if we didn't have a lot of people show up. I guess I'll be staying after until 5:30 again tomorrow. I want to get the music notes laid out and painted on the mural by the play at 7 pm Thursday. I'm not sure if I can lay them out though, so I'll probably just have Matt do that tomorrow. Haha. We don't have much to do tomorrow, so I'm thinking we'll be done by 4-ish.
Exhausted by school and the 3.5 hours following it, I really didn't do much else. Got some laundry done and went to WalMart... twice! It's a good thing I like running errands.
I'm so tired and my body aches.
I turned in my essay for A.P.U.S.H. though! Only a day late when they're normally over a week. I'm kinda proud, even though the essay probably sucked. The new type of quizes Mr. Matchett is starting to give out is killing me. I did better today that I did Friday, but I still failed it with a 30. I made a "hat of failure" out of it before I handed it in.
It was kind of a bad day. I was 3 minutes late and I saw something I really didn't want to see. I guess God wanted me to see it and I have this feeling in my gut that it was important to my self-growth that I saw it. It bummed me out, but I'll be praying about it. I'm starting to notice that I pray more and more every day. It kind of makes me feel weird that I don't take time in the morning or evening and kneel by my bed to talk to God like I see everyone else doing. I always talk to him when I'm driving, walking to class, sitting around, or even in class. Sometimes I feel like the way I think and do things are a little too liberal.
People always see me mumbling prayers everywhere and I'm sure their thinking that I'm talking to myself and it makes me giggle.
I wish tape stuck for longer periods of time. Ever since I made that "You Are Relevant" banner, I've had trouble with it coming off of my door. I think Learning To Love You More specifically designed the project with instructions that wouldn't hold the banners on for long, making the maker continually have to put it back up and look about it, reminding them of the message it says. Sometimes I wonder if I make as much sense in other people's minds as I do my own.
Today I also realized that I spell theatre and litre different from everyone else. Made me feel kinda dumb.
Tomorrow is screenprinting day! Yay!
But for now, it's time to have another go at waking up early.
Night.
Today I was so caught up in the stress of trying to get things done by tomorrow in art club. The drama club's play, "Leader of the Pack", is Thursday, so we're having to cut music notes, records, and old cars out of cardboard (which is really hard!) and paint them. We got so much done today, even if we didn't have a lot of people show up. I guess I'll be staying after until 5:30 again tomorrow. I want to get the music notes laid out and painted on the mural by the play at 7 pm Thursday. I'm not sure if I can lay them out though, so I'll probably just have Matt do that tomorrow. Haha. We don't have much to do tomorrow, so I'm thinking we'll be done by 4-ish.
Exhausted by school and the 3.5 hours following it, I really didn't do much else. Got some laundry done and went to WalMart... twice! It's a good thing I like running errands.
I'm so tired and my body aches.
I turned in my essay for A.P.U.S.H. though! Only a day late when they're normally over a week. I'm kinda proud, even though the essay probably sucked. The new type of quizes Mr. Matchett is starting to give out is killing me. I did better today that I did Friday, but I still failed it with a 30. I made a "hat of failure" out of it before I handed it in.
It was kind of a bad day. I was 3 minutes late and I saw something I really didn't want to see. I guess God wanted me to see it and I have this feeling in my gut that it was important to my self-growth that I saw it. It bummed me out, but I'll be praying about it. I'm starting to notice that I pray more and more every day. It kind of makes me feel weird that I don't take time in the morning or evening and kneel by my bed to talk to God like I see everyone else doing. I always talk to him when I'm driving, walking to class, sitting around, or even in class. Sometimes I feel like the way I think and do things are a little too liberal.
People always see me mumbling prayers everywhere and I'm sure their thinking that I'm talking to myself and it makes me giggle.
I wish tape stuck for longer periods of time. Ever since I made that "You Are Relevant" banner, I've had trouble with it coming off of my door. I think Learning To Love You More specifically designed the project with instructions that wouldn't hold the banners on for long, making the maker continually have to put it back up and look about it, reminding them of the message it says. Sometimes I wonder if I make as much sense in other people's minds as I do my own.
Today I also realized that I spell theatre and litre different from everyone else. Made me feel kinda dumb.
Tomorrow is screenprinting day! Yay!
But for now, it's time to have another go at waking up early.
Night.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Been Rubbing A Bad Charm With Holy Fingers
Yesterday was Sunday, meaning the PostSecret website was updated. Of all of the cards sent in that I've seen, this is my favourite:
I've been wondering if who I used to be about a year ago was any better than who I am now. I seemed to be closer to God, but I've never felt so connected with Him that I can remember. The theory I'm starting to believe is that going in a forward motion, you can only improve.
I couldn't pull myself out of bed this morning. I wanted to get to bed by 9 tonight, but that'll never happen. I need to work more on my sleeping schedule.
I've got so much homework to do and I'm struggling with patience. High school road rage is not fun. Boys are idiots.
I wish I weren't so lazy! I need to find a way to get more efficient sleep so I won't be tired all of the time.
Maybe I will go to bed at 9 and just get up early and do everything then.
My cat will only stop meowing when I hold him. He likes my soup broth, too.
I've decided that next year it would be best that I carry a backpack... and I should probably carry my lunch to school as well. I'm obsessed with the idea of bento boxes:
With my new found love of cooking, I'll probably have to give it a shot.
I've been so hungry lately and it upsets me to eat so much and wanting to lose weight. I must be growing again. Oh well, I wanted to be taller anyways.
It's 9:03! Another snack, a quick face washing and teeth brushing, then it's off to bed!
I'm trying to read the verse of the day everyday on BibleGateway.com. Today's verse is:
“Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!”- Philippians 2:5-8
Enjoy the Shins I put up yesterday!
I've been wondering if who I used to be about a year ago was any better than who I am now. I seemed to be closer to God, but I've never felt so connected with Him that I can remember. The theory I'm starting to believe is that going in a forward motion, you can only improve.I couldn't pull myself out of bed this morning. I wanted to get to bed by 9 tonight, but that'll never happen. I need to work more on my sleeping schedule.
I've got so much homework to do and I'm struggling with patience. High school road rage is not fun. Boys are idiots.
I wish I weren't so lazy! I need to find a way to get more efficient sleep so I won't be tired all of the time.
Maybe I will go to bed at 9 and just get up early and do everything then.
My cat will only stop meowing when I hold him. He likes my soup broth, too.
I've decided that next year it would be best that I carry a backpack... and I should probably carry my lunch to school as well. I'm obsessed with the idea of bento boxes:
With my new found love of cooking, I'll probably have to give it a shot.I've been so hungry lately and it upsets me to eat so much and wanting to lose weight. I must be growing again. Oh well, I wanted to be taller anyways.
It's 9:03! Another snack, a quick face washing and teeth brushing, then it's off to bed!
I'm trying to read the verse of the day everyday on BibleGateway.com. Today's verse is:
“Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!”- Philippians 2:5-8
Enjoy the Shins I put up yesterday!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
It's In Despair That I Find Faith
It was another lazy day. I stayed home in my p.j.s all day and did chores. I also did this:
(Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows. -Mathew 10:31 Old King Jame's version... yeah, that still is my favourite Bible.)
I'm pretty stoked about the shoes I got yesterday, too. Haha, I'm such a girl. Anyway, oxfords are the best and so are peacock feather hair clips.
I wish I could wear my latex leggings as pants, like I always do, at school. I'd probably wear them everyday.
(Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows. -Mathew 10:31 Old King Jame's version... yeah, that still is my favourite Bible.)I'm not sure if I'm done with it, but that's definitely my new favourite verse. I thought it was pretty comforting, so I put it up on the wall in front of my desk in case I need a little reassurance. Funny how God always gives me what I need when I pray for it, and quick too!
I also came upon a new favourite song: "Art In Me" by Jars of Clay. They'll always be one of my all-time favourite bands.
Today I got to eat my leftover steak and mashed potatoes from the Cheesecake Factory and I'm still working on the litre and a half bottle of water we got from Whole Foods. It's got to be the biggest water bottle ever. I took a picutre of it next to a family-sized Lay's potatoe chip bag to show proportion. I'm fascinated by it's immenseness.
I'm pretty stoked about the shoes I got yesterday, too. Haha, I'm such a girl. Anyway, oxfords are the best and so are peacock feather hair clips.I wish I could wear my latex leggings as pants, like I always do, at school. I'd probably wear them everyday. Flickr's about gay as it gets. I struggle with patience.
Apples and granola all day every day. Yum.
I want to hang out with Kathleen more!
I didn't do my homework. HA! I hate it.
I need to clean my room again!
I'm going to try to get up a little before 5 tomorrow. I want to take a jog before I shower. Apples, granola, and soy chai protein; then shower, homework and off to school!
Goodnight.
"So I'm a little out of center,
I'm a little out of tune.
Some say I'm paranormal,
So I just bend their spoon.
Who wants to be ordinary
in a crazy mixed up world?
I don't care what they're saying
So what if I see the sunshine,
In the pouring rain?
Some people think I'm crazy.
They, they just read me wrong"
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Let It Go
Today went fairly well. I went to the mall with my mom instead of getting everything done that I had planned on. I still have all day tomorrow for that. Anyway, I'm pretty excited about the couple of things I got, especially this peacock feather hair thing that I'm probably going to wear everyday. Haha. Mom let me drive all the way their and back, and she bought me gas too! Pretty surprising. She and I always seem to feel closer after we see my father. He was here this morning to pick up some of his things. First time I've seen him in a couple months. He's starting to look better now that he's not so sick, but he still is very thin on the top and very very bulgy at the upper abdomen, which slopes inward as it gets closer to his bottom half in an awkward manner. I gave him my old desktop computer and will be making him some chili some time this week.
I don't really feel like eating anything but apples any more. I probably won't after tomorrow. I also need to start jogging again; might make me feel better about myself.
My longings make me physically ache. My prayer list gets longer and longer by the day.
I need to wash this mess off of my face before it hits my desk, fast asleep.
Night.
I don't really feel like eating anything but apples any more. I probably won't after tomorrow. I also need to start jogging again; might make me feel better about myself.
My longings make me physically ache. My prayer list gets longer and longer by the day.
I need to wash this mess off of my face before it hits my desk, fast asleep.
Night.
"Hi Boy!"
It's 11 and I've been sleeping all day. I really don't feel like doing anything today. I kind of wish it was raining. I really wand ice cream too.
After eating dinner with his family at Los Cocos, we took his little sister over to the playground and planted some flowers for assignment #36:
A little boy came up to us, asking where our sons were and if he could help. I loved it.
There's a lot I want to do today, though: fix a zipper pull, clean my bathroom, finish an anatomy assignment, write at least the beginning of a paper, watch he is legend with my mom.... and get ice cream! Haha. I think I'll put a little bleach on the vest I found yesterday. Oh, and water the flowers!
So, yesterday I got to talk to Joel. He told me to pray for some things. He's pretty good at giving advice. So I prayed and then Zach and I went over to a consignment store and GoodWill. We found an awesome denim vest, a couple plaid flannel shirts, some shoes, and a bunch of cassette tapes for my car since it doesn't have a c.d. player. We found this weird one, something about cannibals. Turned out to be awkward 80's music. The Ratt one's pretty neat, though.
After eating dinner with his family at Los Cocos, we took his little sister over to the playground and planted some flowers for assignment #36:A little boy came up to us, asking where our sons were and if he could help. I loved it.I'm still praying for more, even though I probably shouldn't. Things are starting to look a little better, but I still think I'm supposed to be alone.
Time for a shower!
Friday, April 25, 2008
Sleepy Head
I'm the tiredest I've been in quite some time (and it's not even 10!), so I'll update tomorrow morning.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Extraodanary, Blessed, Cursed, and Won
I didn't really do anything important today, just art club and go to the art show at school. Blue ribbon, but not best in show; really not a surprise.
I get to feeling lonely sometimes, not really someone special, not really anything at all. God lets me fall, but today I realized, only to pick me back up again so that I can see how much I need him. I was thinking about all my losses, all my imperfections, everything that I lack; so I got on Bible Gateway. Today's verse of the day:
“For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.”- 1 Peter 1:18-19
I found it difficult to have patience today, so I'll be praying for that too. I used to think that being timid meant you were also humble and you could not have one without the other. Perceptions can change so fast, even without the guidance of another human being... and it reminds me of my purpose here.
Goodnight.
"And I fail
But when I can, I will
Try to understand
That when I can, I will"
I get to feeling lonely sometimes, not really someone special, not really anything at all. God lets me fall, but today I realized, only to pick me back up again so that I can see how much I need him. I was thinking about all my losses, all my imperfections, everything that I lack; so I got on Bible Gateway. Today's verse of the day:
“For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.”- 1 Peter 1:18-19
I found it difficult to have patience today, so I'll be praying for that too. I used to think that being timid meant you were also humble and you could not have one without the other. Perceptions can change so fast, even without the guidance of another human being... and it reminds me of my purpose here.
Goodnight.
"And I fail
But when I can, I will
Try to understand
That when I can, I will"
Weak
I didn't get to this last night because my nap at 6:30 had turned into complete sleep until this morning. Whoops.
Anyway, I need to get ready for school, so this'll be short.
Zach stayed home from school and missed Kaplan. Dumb. Kaplan was extremely boring and I drew a mustache on the turtle in one of the problems. It made it not so bad.
I stayed after school for art club. The mural's lookin' good! Matt and I should get more done durning my art class period.
I really didn't have anything to do at home so I made a pair of old jeans into shorts. Pair #2. It can get pretty addicting when you have a bunch of dumb flair-y pants.
After that I took my nap because I didn't really want to be home any more. People have been complaining about the weather lately, but I think seeing the Sun is a nice change. I'm tired of the rain.
Today is art club again. We're making our club shirts! Kristine wants to do tie-dye, so that should be fun.
Time to get ready! I need to leave early so I can get gas.
Uh... Happy Thursday! ...?
Anyway, I need to get ready for school, so this'll be short.
Zach stayed home from school and missed Kaplan. Dumb. Kaplan was extremely boring and I drew a mustache on the turtle in one of the problems. It made it not so bad.
I stayed after school for art club. The mural's lookin' good! Matt and I should get more done durning my art class period.
I really didn't have anything to do at home so I made a pair of old jeans into shorts. Pair #2. It can get pretty addicting when you have a bunch of dumb flair-y pants.
After that I took my nap because I didn't really want to be home any more. People have been complaining about the weather lately, but I think seeing the Sun is a nice change. I'm tired of the rain.
Today is art club again. We're making our club shirts! Kristine wants to do tie-dye, so that should be fun.
Time to get ready! I need to leave early so I can get gas.
Uh... Happy Thursday! ...?
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Lazy Day
I wanted to go to bed earlier, but I can't seem to stop watching these ThreadBanger podcasts I put on my iPod.
Today was definitely a bust. I was pretty hyped on getting some things done with Zach, but I was a little confused about the plans and ended up sleeping until 5:30 because I had a tummy ache. BUMMOUT. Maybe I'll just do it tomorrow. But since I had felt like I wasted my day, I got some necessities that I had ran out of, such as lotion and tissues, at Wal-Mart. Somehow, it all totaled up to about $45 (I blame the $7 box of milk duds I bought for my mom) and my mother got a pretty mad. It seems that everything I did upset her today. Oh well. She's been a little... uhh... aggressive lately. I guess everyone has their moments. But I was thinking and typically, having such a difficult time with my mother, I would have felt pretty unwanted and unloved... but not today! God knew I needed a rapid change. He's making me tough for something amazing.
Anyway, I was sitting in Anatomy after I had finished my test thinking about how fun it would be to start a home for the homeless. I thought it would be pretty neat to take women off the streets, clean them up, and take them to job interviews. They could eventually start paying some type of rent once they found a steady job so I could cook them lots of food! Yay! We could do crafts and read the Bible and they eventually could save up enough money to move out and start a new life sorta. I think I'm pretty blessed with these crazy ideas, weird interests, and different ways of thinking and I LOVE IT. Yeah, I rule. Hard.
Today I did the assignment #27:
Today was definitely a bust. I was pretty hyped on getting some things done with Zach, but I was a little confused about the plans and ended up sleeping until 5:30 because I had a tummy ache. BUMMOUT. Maybe I'll just do it tomorrow. But since I had felt like I wasted my day, I got some necessities that I had ran out of, such as lotion and tissues, at Wal-Mart. Somehow, it all totaled up to about $45 (I blame the $7 box of milk duds I bought for my mom) and my mother got a pretty mad. It seems that everything I did upset her today. Oh well. She's been a little... uhh... aggressive lately. I guess everyone has their moments. But I was thinking and typically, having such a difficult time with my mother, I would have felt pretty unwanted and unloved... but not today! God knew I needed a rapid change. He's making me tough for something amazing.
Anyway, I was sitting in Anatomy after I had finished my test thinking about how fun it would be to start a home for the homeless. I thought it would be pretty neat to take women off the streets, clean them up, and take them to job interviews. They could eventually start paying some type of rent once they found a steady job so I could cook them lots of food! Yay! We could do crafts and read the Bible and they eventually could save up enough money to move out and start a new life sorta. I think I'm pretty blessed with these crazy ideas, weird interests, and different ways of thinking and I LOVE IT. Yeah, I rule. Hard.
Today I did the assignment #27:
It's 12:04! Bed time!
Happy National Jelly Bean Day!
"For the spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life" - Job 33:4
Monday, April 21, 2008
You Better Not, Child
I'm currently waiting for my 12-page paper to finish printing. I don't know how it go to 12 pages when everyone elses' was probably 2, 3 at most. But I finished! Yes! It feels so awfully late though. I wanted to be in bed by 10 and it's almost 11 now. I didn't finish reading a chapter that I need to make up a quiz for and will be on the exam tomorrow, but I'll try to do it tomorrow morning before I get to that class.
Reading all of this nonsense about the Labor Movement, especially about John D. Rockefeller and J.P. Morgan as well as others, made me think about how much this world is obsessed with money. It made me feel a little sick because I see this a little in everyone. I want to completely detach myself from this concept of money obsession, but I'm not really sure how to yet, so I'll just pray about it.
Anyway, this country is insane and far too complicated, end of story. I want to become more simple. I'm hoping that the more I pray, the more God will listen.
Unfortunately I spent all of my hours after school working on that darn paper. Although I did take several breaks to watch Thread Banger Podcasts. I want to make tons of things now. I can't wait to go to GoodWill tomorrow with Zach. Finally, the GoodWill trip I've been waiting for! Thrifting and crafting is always so much fun.
Probably the most exciting thing that happened today, aside from finishing the paper, was my cat running outside when my mom let the dog in, when my cat had no buisness being outside. Fortunately, my mother is a pro at coaxing kitties back into the house with canned cat food. He really does run things around here.
It's 11 and I haven't taken a shower yet. I'm super tired, so I guess I'll just take one in the morning. Getting up before 9 a.m. sucks so bad. I can't wait for summer!
Night night.
Reading all of this nonsense about the Labor Movement, especially about John D. Rockefeller and J.P. Morgan as well as others, made me think about how much this world is obsessed with money. It made me feel a little sick because I see this a little in everyone. I want to completely detach myself from this concept of money obsession, but I'm not really sure how to yet, so I'll just pray about it.
Anyway, this country is insane and far too complicated, end of story. I want to become more simple. I'm hoping that the more I pray, the more God will listen.
Unfortunately I spent all of my hours after school working on that darn paper. Although I did take several breaks to watch Thread Banger Podcasts. I want to make tons of things now. I can't wait to go to GoodWill tomorrow with Zach. Finally, the GoodWill trip I've been waiting for! Thrifting and crafting is always so much fun.
Probably the most exciting thing that happened today, aside from finishing the paper, was my cat running outside when my mom let the dog in, when my cat had no buisness being outside. Fortunately, my mother is a pro at coaxing kitties back into the house with canned cat food. He really does run things around here.
It's 11 and I haven't taken a shower yet. I'm super tired, so I guess I'll just take one in the morning. Getting up before 9 a.m. sucks so bad. I can't wait for summer!
Night night.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Second Passover?
I'm so tired, so I'm going to try to make this as short as possible.
We chatted and I took my laptop and worked on my A.P.U.S.H. paper. I did so much work on it today. I feel like it really kept me from enjoying the visit. I'll be turning it in on Tuesday, though. It'll be nice.
I went to my grandparents' house in Mount Dora today and took pictures of all the artwork in their home. I'll post them later when I figure out how to make them into a video so I don't have to use all of my remanding space on Flickr since I still don't have a pro account. Though I will post one from today...
We chatted and I took my laptop and worked on my A.P.U.S.H. paper. I did so much work on it today. I feel like it really kept me from enjoying the visit. I'll be turning it in on Tuesday, though. It'll be nice.I was able to talk to Joel again today, which is, of course, always my favourite thing to do. We are baffled by this second Passover nonsense. I really wish an opportunity for him to move back to Florida would just happen already.
Zach and I planned on doing tons of things on Tuesday, so be ready for tons of pictures. I think I'm going to try to gather some change up to give to my mom in exchange for her letting me use her credit card to get a pro account. I could always use another account, but I'm not sure I'm fond of the idea of using more than one. Too many things to keep track of.
Anyway, that was my day and I really can't remember any other thoughts that I had today because of my sporadic naps I took, so I'm going to bed so I can wake up early in the morning and work on my paper or maybe study for Jeopardy in A.P.U.S.H.!
Who knows?
Goodnight.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
!No me digas!
I don't really have a lot of time to type an amazing entry, so I'll post Joel and I's first instant messenger conversation. It pretty much summarizes what's been going on. He seemed pretty excited about it.
Joel (4/19/2008 9:49:55 PM): Hey are you there
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:50:06 PM): silly joel, of course i am!
Joel (4/19/2008 9:50:31 PM): Nice I this is the first time i di this it is all 4 u
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:50:53 PM): haha yay!
Joel (4/19/2008 9:51:09 PM): How was yesterday?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:51:52 PM): ha it was pretty fun. the waves have been pretty fierce lately, but it was okay.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:52:31 PM): still hating work?
Joel (4/19/2008 9:53:09 PM): Yeah today kind of sucked at work. But i know God will help me find something else
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:53:31 PM): i have a feeling he will
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:53:41 PM): what happened today? anything unusual?
Joel (4/19/2008 9:54:39 PM): How nice. You type fast. No i just got cussed out and felt like i did not feel like fighting. So at times like that i just give up and want to leave, but i did not and made fun of the kids.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:55:15 PM): duh i type fast, i took a class in clerical occupations
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:55:30 PM): but that sucks about work
Joel (4/19/2008 9:55:56 PM): Yeah, I enjoy reading your blogs, they are pretty amazing!
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:56:34 PM): that's because i'm amazing, silly!
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:57:29 PM): although i really feel like i should be doing more with them
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:57:45 PM): like helping people but i don't really know how yet
Joel (4/19/2008 9:57:55 PM): Yeah it reminds me of a thing i used to do about processing a day P.A.C.E it stands for seeking where you saw God's presense, his activity, his calling, where he is extending the call. I hope that makes sense.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:58:22 PM): it does
Joel (4/19/2008 9:58:44 PM): Yeah it is all about seeing God in your day or event and having better ones.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:00:08 PM): it does help a lot, but it's kind of not fun because i'm a little too impatient to take it a day at a time, but i guess that's why i'm writing them. i just want the days to go faster.
Joel (4/19/2008 10:01:00 PM): But it seems like you are really thinking well about your days and you have a good concept of reality.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:01:47 PM): well that's nice to know! a lot of people seem to think otherwise
Joel (4/19/2008 10:02:34 PM): If you are typing fast and just writing your thoughts then you have a ton of wisdom and maturity that others don't see. I am proud.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:02:48 PM): yay!
Joel (4/19/2008 10:03:08 PM): How are you lately?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:03:24 PM): i guess i'm okay
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:03:33 PM): i've been fighting with my mom a lot
Joel (4/19/2008 10:03:57 PM): About?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:04:10 PM): i asked her to sign a permission paper for me today so i won't have a class first hour next year and she got really angry
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:04:19 PM): she always wants to push me too hard
Joel (4/19/2008 10:04:42 PM): YEAH, it seems like she won't quit i guess
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:04:50 PM): i really don't think i'm supposed to have some fancy career that makes tons of money
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:04:59 PM): i think i'm supposed to be happy
Joel (4/19/2008 10:05:43 PM): Couldn't hurt though. Yeah some say God made you to be holy, not happy. I believe both happens.
Joel(4/19/2008 10:07:26 PM): At some point you will have to follow God in your career path, but you have a ton of potential.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:07:54 PM): yeah that's what i meant... but like i really don't see the point in pushing myself to the point of insanity to bring up my gpa like .4 so i can get a job i won't be happy with just to make a lot of money and make my mom happy
Joel(4/19/2008 10:09:10 PM): Yeah you were meant for college though. I know that you will begin to become more independant and what you will value will be different from your moms values.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:10:30 PM): and today she took away my car until i read two huge things about the labor movement and write a paper about them and i have to do it by tonight... meaning i won't get to sleep because we're going to my grandparents in the morning in the orlando area
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:10:50 PM): advanced placement classes are stupid, joel
Joel (4/19/2008 10:11:08 PM): Why the labor movement?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:11:39 PM): it's for my american history advanced placement class. it's what we're currently studying
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:12:04 PM): we have to do these huge papers that count for 40% of our grade pretty much every week
Joel (4/19/2008 10:12:32 PM): Wow you will think college is easy
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:12:39 PM): probably
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:12:54 PM): but i can tell you i won't be taking any of these classes next year
Joel (4/19/2008 10:13:05 PM): Good
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:13:22 PM): not only because i don't want to, but because i've kept a consistant D average and they won't let me ahahha
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:13:40 PM): but i did sign up for bible 1 and 2 with the same teacher
Joel (4/19/2008 10:14:02 PM): That is making your mom mad, but thatis whatis best. Awsome you will love it
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:14:30 PM): i'm excited but i hope it won't be too hard
Joel (4/19/2008 10:14:48 PM): No you will just learn a good overview of the bible
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:15:22 PM): we've got this national a.p. test coming up in a month or two and it's supposedly the "hardest test we will ever take" and it's making me break out in hives
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:15:40 PM): i plan on reading my entire text book the week before hahah
Joel (4/19/2008 10:16:00 PM): What does it matter? You are awsome with out any test
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:16:22 PM): that's what i said but these old people like 'em for some reason
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:16:57 PM): i think i get college credit if i pass, but i'm just going to go to college any way
Joel (4/19/2008 10:17:23 PM): If you think it is valueable i know you will do well
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:17:50 PM): who knows joel, who knows
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:17:58 PM): but you know
Joel (4/19/2008 10:18:20 PM): Are you still bummed about Clint
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:19:44 PM): i was thinking the other day when i was driving home from school and i thought about how many things i want and i imagined myself in the shoes of people who have those things, success and whatnot, and i really didn't feel any different. i think that yearn for something will always be there and i should just be content with what i have and what i'm able to reach and not push myself
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:19:51 PM): kinda a little
Joel (4/19/2008 10:21:12 PM): Yeah I see that if you chase after what God desires satisfaction will come. Have you spoke to clint or r you done?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:21:41 PM): no, we don't speak at all
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:22:06 PM): but it's not really that i'm bummed because of clint, i'm bummed about the loss of a close friend
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:22:34 PM): i honestly feel like it could have been any one else if i had those same ties to them and i'd still feel the same way
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:22:44 PM): that and i feel really bad for him
Joel (4/19/2008 10:23:34 PM): Yeah i hope some how you guys could be at a peace but he needs to mature some
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:24:01 PM): well i guess you can't blame him, he's a boy ahah
Joel (4/19/2008 10:24:50 PM): Yeah it is true. Try to find out his im thing it epic something?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:05 PM): but i don't know if i'd ever want to speak to him again after what he said
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:13 PM): oh yeah, it's epicrules1
Joel (4/19/2008 10:25:34 PM): Thanks, what did he say
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:41 PM): actually, he said:
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:45 PM): clint (4/14/2008 1:34:02 AM): hahaha glad you got all that out please try and stay away from me for the rest of your life, id really appreciate it, and try to get on some meds for your fucking craziness, everyones right ya know your fucking crazy ahahaha and fake, but yeah wish i had more time to laugh at you but i dont so cry a river
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:51 PM): etc, etc
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:26:58 PM): clint (4/14/2008 1:24:28 AM): i see the real you and im repulesd
Joel (4/19/2008 10:27:14 PM): Wow that was unexpected? I guess you should leave it alone.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:27:33 PM): that's what i'm telling you silly
Joel (4/19/2008 10:27:47 PM): Yeah I am dumb.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:27:48 PM): he's kinda... uhhh... not someone i'd ever want to be friends with again
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:27:53 PM): no you're not!
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:28:00 PM): you're joel the bear!
Joel (4/19/2008 10:28:42 PM): I am i got to go hibernate because i have to go to work early. This is cool though!
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:29:06 PM): okay joely. i'll talk to you later then! goodnight
As awkward as it sounds, I've been crying an awful lot lately, but not because I'm sad; because for the first time I actually feel cared about and loved. I don't know why it took me this long to feel this, God's always been there, but it I've got to say, it's the greatest feeling in the world.
I've got this large list of things I want to get done in the next few days.
After tidying up my room a little, I put up the prints I had done last quarter in art class on the inside of a cabinet door in my room. They look horrid because they didn't line up right, but I still love them anyway.
Joel (4/19/2008 9:49:55 PM): Hey are you there
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:50:06 PM): silly joel, of course i am!
Joel (4/19/2008 9:50:31 PM): Nice I this is the first time i di this it is all 4 u
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:50:53 PM): haha yay!
Joel (4/19/2008 9:51:09 PM): How was yesterday?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:51:52 PM): ha it was pretty fun. the waves have been pretty fierce lately, but it was okay.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:52:31 PM): still hating work?
Joel (4/19/2008 9:53:09 PM): Yeah today kind of sucked at work. But i know God will help me find something else
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:53:31 PM): i have a feeling he will
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:53:41 PM): what happened today? anything unusual?
Joel (4/19/2008 9:54:39 PM): How nice. You type fast. No i just got cussed out and felt like i did not feel like fighting. So at times like that i just give up and want to leave, but i did not and made fun of the kids.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:55:15 PM): duh i type fast, i took a class in clerical occupations
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:55:30 PM): but that sucks about work
Joel (4/19/2008 9:55:56 PM): Yeah, I enjoy reading your blogs, they are pretty amazing!
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:56:34 PM): that's because i'm amazing, silly!
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:57:29 PM): although i really feel like i should be doing more with them
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:57:45 PM): like helping people but i don't really know how yet
Joel (4/19/2008 9:57:55 PM): Yeah it reminds me of a thing i used to do about processing a day P.A.C.E it stands for seeking where you saw God's presense, his activity, his calling, where he is extending the call. I hope that makes sense.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:58:22 PM): it does
Joel (4/19/2008 9:58:44 PM): Yeah it is all about seeing God in your day or event and having better ones.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:00:08 PM): it does help a lot, but it's kind of not fun because i'm a little too impatient to take it a day at a time, but i guess that's why i'm writing them. i just want the days to go faster.
Joel (4/19/2008 10:01:00 PM): But it seems like you are really thinking well about your days and you have a good concept of reality.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:01:47 PM): well that's nice to know! a lot of people seem to think otherwise
Joel (4/19/2008 10:02:34 PM): If you are typing fast and just writing your thoughts then you have a ton of wisdom and maturity that others don't see. I am proud.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:02:48 PM): yay!
Joel (4/19/2008 10:03:08 PM): How are you lately?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:03:24 PM): i guess i'm okay
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:03:33 PM): i've been fighting with my mom a lot
Joel (4/19/2008 10:03:57 PM): About?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:04:10 PM): i asked her to sign a permission paper for me today so i won't have a class first hour next year and she got really angry
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:04:19 PM): she always wants to push me too hard
Joel (4/19/2008 10:04:42 PM): YEAH, it seems like she won't quit i guess
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:04:50 PM): i really don't think i'm supposed to have some fancy career that makes tons of money
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:04:59 PM): i think i'm supposed to be happy
Joel (4/19/2008 10:05:43 PM): Couldn't hurt though. Yeah some say God made you to be holy, not happy. I believe both happens.
Joel(4/19/2008 10:07:26 PM): At some point you will have to follow God in your career path, but you have a ton of potential.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:07:54 PM): yeah that's what i meant... but like i really don't see the point in pushing myself to the point of insanity to bring up my gpa like .4 so i can get a job i won't be happy with just to make a lot of money and make my mom happy
Joel(4/19/2008 10:09:10 PM): Yeah you were meant for college though. I know that you will begin to become more independant and what you will value will be different from your moms values.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:10:30 PM): and today she took away my car until i read two huge things about the labor movement and write a paper about them and i have to do it by tonight... meaning i won't get to sleep because we're going to my grandparents in the morning in the orlando area
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:10:50 PM): advanced placement classes are stupid, joel
Joel (4/19/2008 10:11:08 PM): Why the labor movement?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:11:39 PM): it's for my american history advanced placement class. it's what we're currently studying
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:12:04 PM): we have to do these huge papers that count for 40% of our grade pretty much every week
Joel (4/19/2008 10:12:32 PM): Wow you will think college is easy
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:12:39 PM): probably
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:12:54 PM): but i can tell you i won't be taking any of these classes next year
Joel (4/19/2008 10:13:05 PM): Good
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:13:22 PM): not only because i don't want to, but because i've kept a consistant D average and they won't let me ahahha
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:13:40 PM): but i did sign up for bible 1 and 2 with the same teacher
Joel (4/19/2008 10:14:02 PM): That is making your mom mad, but thatis whatis best. Awsome you will love it
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:14:30 PM): i'm excited but i hope it won't be too hard
Joel (4/19/2008 10:14:48 PM): No you will just learn a good overview of the bible
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:15:22 PM): we've got this national a.p. test coming up in a month or two and it's supposedly the "hardest test we will ever take" and it's making me break out in hives
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:15:40 PM): i plan on reading my entire text book the week before hahah
Joel (4/19/2008 10:16:00 PM): What does it matter? You are awsome with out any test
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:16:22 PM): that's what i said but these old people like 'em for some reason
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:16:57 PM): i think i get college credit if i pass, but i'm just going to go to college any way
Joel (4/19/2008 10:17:23 PM): If you think it is valueable i know you will do well
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:17:50 PM): who knows joel, who knows
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:17:58 PM): but you know
Joel (4/19/2008 10:18:20 PM): Are you still bummed about Clint
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:19:44 PM): i was thinking the other day when i was driving home from school and i thought about how many things i want and i imagined myself in the shoes of people who have those things, success and whatnot, and i really didn't feel any different. i think that yearn for something will always be there and i should just be content with what i have and what i'm able to reach and not push myself
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:19:51 PM): kinda a little
Joel (4/19/2008 10:21:12 PM): Yeah I see that if you chase after what God desires satisfaction will come. Have you spoke to clint or r you done?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:21:41 PM): no, we don't speak at all
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:22:06 PM): but it's not really that i'm bummed because of clint, i'm bummed about the loss of a close friend
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:22:34 PM): i honestly feel like it could have been any one else if i had those same ties to them and i'd still feel the same way
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:22:44 PM): that and i feel really bad for him
Joel (4/19/2008 10:23:34 PM): Yeah i hope some how you guys could be at a peace but he needs to mature some
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:24:01 PM): well i guess you can't blame him, he's a boy ahah
Joel (4/19/2008 10:24:50 PM): Yeah it is true. Try to find out his im thing it epic something?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:05 PM): but i don't know if i'd ever want to speak to him again after what he said
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:13 PM): oh yeah, it's epicrules1
Joel (4/19/2008 10:25:34 PM): Thanks, what did he say
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:41 PM): actually, he said:
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:45 PM): clint (4/14/2008 1:34:02 AM): hahaha glad you got all that out please try and stay away from me for the rest of your life, id really appreciate it, and try to get on some meds for your fucking craziness, everyones right ya know your fucking crazy ahahaha and fake, but yeah wish i had more time to laugh at you but i dont so cry a river
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:51 PM): etc, etc
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:26:58 PM): clint (4/14/2008 1:24:28 AM): i see the real you and im repulesd
Joel (4/19/2008 10:27:14 PM): Wow that was unexpected? I guess you should leave it alone.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:27:33 PM): that's what i'm telling you silly
Joel (4/19/2008 10:27:47 PM): Yeah I am dumb.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:27:48 PM): he's kinda... uhhh... not someone i'd ever want to be friends with again
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:27:53 PM): no you're not!
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:28:00 PM): you're joel the bear!
Joel (4/19/2008 10:28:42 PM): I am i got to go hibernate because i have to go to work early. This is cool though!
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:29:06 PM): okay joely. i'll talk to you later then! goodnight
As awkward as it sounds, I've been crying an awful lot lately, but not because I'm sad; because for the first time I actually feel cared about and loved. I don't know why it took me this long to feel this, God's always been there, but it I've got to say, it's the greatest feeling in the world.
I've got this large list of things I want to get done in the next few days.
After tidying up my room a little, I put up the prints I had done last quarter in art class on the inside of a cabinet door in my room. They look horrid because they didn't line up right, but I still love them anyway.
It's time to work on that paper!
But first, I did assignment #51:
First, it seems neccisary to have my body go through some type of typical preserving or embalming process. After I would like to be completely covered in several layers of white paint, nude, to make a sort of canvas. Then I would want my friends to recreate their favourite piece of art work that I had done while I was alive in acrylic paint, using small detail brushes. Once my body was completely covered in my friends' renditions of my art, I would want to be dropped into the bottom of lake Okeechobee to decompose.
Tag-Tag
I'm so tired. Bradley, Clayton, and I went to the Vero beach yesterday was pretty fun, even though the waves would push me over every 2 seconds. We buried Clayton in the sand. Very funny. The water was super cold and we all got sand pretty much everywhere. Later we went to some restaurant and I told Clayton the story. Epic. We stayed at some lodge. I refuse to sleep in the same bed as Bradley's mom. The floor wasn't that bad.
Being with them always makes me feel the complete opposite of vain for some reason.
I've been so content with everything it's starting to seem surreal.
No pictures, unfortunately.
I napped the whole drive home to Q And Not U. Still tired. I guess I'll take some stuff over to the consignment store (again) then come home and start working on that paper that was due last Monday until I can't stay awake any longer. I don't know why we've been getting rid of so much stuff, but I guess it's a good thing.
I need a new bathing suit. I've kinda grown since I got the one I have about a year and a half ago.
Well, I guess I'll update again tonight.
Being with them always makes me feel the complete opposite of vain for some reason.
I've been so content with everything it's starting to seem surreal.
No pictures, unfortunately.
I napped the whole drive home to Q And Not U. Still tired. I guess I'll take some stuff over to the consignment store (again) then come home and start working on that paper that was due last Monday until I can't stay awake any longer. I don't know why we've been getting rid of so much stuff, but I guess it's a good thing.
I need a new bathing suit. I've kinda grown since I got the one I have about a year and a half ago.
Well, I guess I'll update again tonight.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Communist Tasty Church
I haven't been feeling very productive lately. I need to get on that. 
Then my cat started meowing. He had both food and water so I was a little confused and decided to carry him to my room where he immediately jumped onto my computer chair and started chewing his toes. I found this hilarious and took a picture.
I also subscribed to the Thread Banger podcasts on iTunes and downloaded all 50 existing episodes, putting them on the 'pod. I'm hoping to watch them in my free time and maybe put them to good use making something... or something.
I want to get up early again tomorrow. I found this neat setting on my phone that makes the alarm ring Monday - Friday haha. I'm fascinated.
For the past two days, I've gotten home a little after 5 pm from school (we're closer to finishing the mural!) and then taken a nap. Actually, I've been napping a lot more often again, making it feel like I'm sleeping the day away.
My next year class scheduling at 7:30 this morning (I was on time!) made me realize that I need to focus more on school. I'm not going to get any where with a 2.644 cumulative g.p.a. Then again, I probably shouldn't worry about that. If God wants me to do something, he'll take care of it. I really don't feel like he wants me to go into psychology/criminal justice. I'm meant to create things with my hands. I hope he shows me some sort of path by the time I complete my basics at I.R.C.C. or if I can get over to Broward Community Collage at Nova Southeastern University. Whatever it is that I'm supposed to be doing with my life has nothing to do with this modern Sodom I live in.
Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to the beach directly after school with Bradley and Clayton then staying at Brad's mom's whatever it is for the night, meaning I won't be able to update tomorrow... bummout. It'll still be tons of fun with those two.
Not much other news. I transformed an ordinary cardboard box this pretty sweet recycling box for my room.
Then my cat started meowing. He had both food and water so I was a little confused and decided to carry him to my room where he immediately jumped onto my computer chair and started chewing his toes. I found this hilarious and took a picture.I also subscribed to the Thread Banger podcasts on iTunes and downloaded all 50 existing episodes, putting them on the 'pod. I'm hoping to watch them in my free time and maybe put them to good use making something... or something.
I want to get up early again tomorrow. I found this neat setting on my phone that makes the alarm ring Monday - Friday haha. I'm fascinated.
Going to bed a half hour or hour earlier than I have been lately. Yay!
Night.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Food For Thought
"When I discovered your words, I ate them. They are my joy and my heart's delight." - Jeremiah 15:16
Fever Sleeves
Another average day. Tonight was chili and pie night. Gosh, do I love to cook.
No pictires today.
I didn't get around to going to GoodWill because after art club, I had realized that I didn't have my car key in my bag. I thought I had locked it in my car, so after Ms. T. had called AAA, I realized that my key was indeed in my car, but my car wasn't locked. Rather irresposible of me, but still funny. Anyway, Zach had left after I couldn't find my keys and I really didn't feel like going there by myself. I'm hoping Stephanie will be available tomorrow.
The mural we're working on in art is going really well. I didn't want to stop working on it! I'm excited to finish it. Hopefully, we'll be closer tomorrow.
I have to remember that I have to be at school early tomorrow! Scheduling at 7:30. I think I'll set three separate alarms to make sure I wake up in time. I don't understand why I signed up for that time slot. I mean, I don't really think I can afford to miss a class, but getting up early is just no fun. Becoming a responsible adult is hard. Growing pains for sure.
I miss Joel. Even though it doesn't really seem like I've known Joel for a while, I've become really attached to him. He feels more like a father-figure to me and no one likes having their dad that far away from home. I hope God allows him to move back closer to Okeechobee.
I'm so tired. Shower time.
No pictires today.
I didn't get around to going to GoodWill because after art club, I had realized that I didn't have my car key in my bag. I thought I had locked it in my car, so after Ms. T. had called AAA, I realized that my key was indeed in my car, but my car wasn't locked. Rather irresposible of me, but still funny. Anyway, Zach had left after I couldn't find my keys and I really didn't feel like going there by myself. I'm hoping Stephanie will be available tomorrow.
The mural we're working on in art is going really well. I didn't want to stop working on it! I'm excited to finish it. Hopefully, we'll be closer tomorrow.
I have to remember that I have to be at school early tomorrow! Scheduling at 7:30. I think I'll set three separate alarms to make sure I wake up in time. I don't understand why I signed up for that time slot. I mean, I don't really think I can afford to miss a class, but getting up early is just no fun. Becoming a responsible adult is hard. Growing pains for sure.
I miss Joel. Even though it doesn't really seem like I've known Joel for a while, I've become really attached to him. He feels more like a father-figure to me and no one likes having their dad that far away from home. I hope God allows him to move back closer to Okeechobee.
I'm so tired. Shower time.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Colder
It was freezing today. It made walking from three-dollar parking to my class suck, but I still got there on time.
Today was one of my laziest days in some time. I didn't do any homework, I didn't go to GoodWill, I didn't clean my bathroom, and I didn't cook. I really wish I would've cooked that chili since it was so cold outside today, but there's always tomorrow. I probably would have, but I really didn't feel like being in public much today after seeing my father's family at Walmart. I think I'll look up a desert recipe as well. Stephanie should be free tomorrow also, so I'll have a GoodWill goin' buddy. I need to start doing everything by myself, though... even if it is no fun. And I WILL clean my bathroom tomorrow!
Walking into my art class, I was really excited to start the print making on a piece of canvas I was hoping on starting. My teacher wants me to do silk screening instead. It's a bit intimidating never have done silk screening and it being an awfully large project. I really just wanted to make canvas prints, but it'd probably be a good idea to try something new and difficult. I just don't want to haha.
The realization of the day was that it's okay to be myself. For years I used to avoid certain bands or really anything because everyone else liked it or the "cooler" people frowned upon it. Today I felt more comfortable with myself than I ever have. For the first time I can honestly say that I don't care about how any one person feels about me. Weird how these things hit me so arbitrarily.
Even though it's only Tuesday I'm so excited for the weekend.
Speaking of Tuesdays, I joined a Flickr group, "Self Portrait Tuesdays". It seems like it'll be a lot of fun to keep up with. Here's my first one; I was rather impressed with it, especially since I used tree branches as a tripod.
Time to wash the dishes and head off to bed.
Today was one of my laziest days in some time. I didn't do any homework, I didn't go to GoodWill, I didn't clean my bathroom, and I didn't cook. I really wish I would've cooked that chili since it was so cold outside today, but there's always tomorrow. I probably would have, but I really didn't feel like being in public much today after seeing my father's family at Walmart. I think I'll look up a desert recipe as well. Stephanie should be free tomorrow also, so I'll have a GoodWill goin' buddy. I need to start doing everything by myself, though... even if it is no fun. And I WILL clean my bathroom tomorrow!
Walking into my art class, I was really excited to start the print making on a piece of canvas I was hoping on starting. My teacher wants me to do silk screening instead. It's a bit intimidating never have done silk screening and it being an awfully large project. I really just wanted to make canvas prints, but it'd probably be a good idea to try something new and difficult. I just don't want to haha.
The realization of the day was that it's okay to be myself. For years I used to avoid certain bands or really anything because everyone else liked it or the "cooler" people frowned upon it. Today I felt more comfortable with myself than I ever have. For the first time I can honestly say that I don't care about how any one person feels about me. Weird how these things hit me so arbitrarily.
Even though it's only Tuesday I'm so excited for the weekend.
Speaking of Tuesdays, I joined a Flickr group, "Self Portrait Tuesdays". It seems like it'll be a lot of fun to keep up with. Here's my first one; I was rather impressed with it, especially since I used tree branches as a tripod.
Time to wash the dishes and head off to bed.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Scratch Your Name In My Side
I was going to post the lyrics to the song I wrote sometime last week on here, but then I decided otherwise. I think that once I put it to some music, if I feel comfortable enough, I might play and record it with my camera and then upload and post it here. I should probably do that anyway; it would most likely help me on that journey.
This morning was horrid. I succumbed to loss for someone who had no relevance to me. I feel so bad for them and their pain that caused them to transform into a creep. I'll be praying that they don't end up a serial killer or in Hell... or both.
I also wasn't able to get to school until about noon. Having only two classes for the day wasn't that bad though.
Afterwards, I came home, talked to Whit, then took some things to the consignment and GoodWill. When I was done I hung out with Stephanie, Zach, and Andrew for a few hours at GoodWill (which I want to go back to tomorrow. I feel like I can get pretty crafty there.) and Taco Bell, where I got that new box thing. I wasn't surprised that I ate 90% of it.
Andrew decided that we were going to Walmart after that so he could meet up with his cousin. Distracted talking to Josh and Adam in the parking lot, I lost him and left him. I hope his cousin gave him that ride home I was going to give him. Haha, I felt like a jerk, but I couldn't find him anywhere in the store.
If you've never heard of Two Hours Traffic or Sweet Thing, I'd recommend you look them up. The Verge (XM 52) is a really great radio station. It always has the best indie.
I never got to clean my bathroom. I think I'll stay home tomorrow after I go to GoodWill and buy some more root beer and cream soda from Walmart.
I guess I'm going to do those papers tonight that I didn't get to this morning. Or at least start them.
But, before I go, I did another assignment. I want to do them as often as possible.
Assignment #11:
'Til tomorrow.
This morning was horrid. I succumbed to loss for someone who had no relevance to me. I feel so bad for them and their pain that caused them to transform into a creep. I'll be praying that they don't end up a serial killer or in Hell... or both.
I also wasn't able to get to school until about noon. Having only two classes for the day wasn't that bad though.
Afterwards, I came home, talked to Whit, then took some things to the consignment and GoodWill. When I was done I hung out with Stephanie, Zach, and Andrew for a few hours at GoodWill (which I want to go back to tomorrow. I feel like I can get pretty crafty there.) and Taco Bell, where I got that new box thing. I wasn't surprised that I ate 90% of it.
Andrew decided that we were going to Walmart after that so he could meet up with his cousin. Distracted talking to Josh and Adam in the parking lot, I lost him and left him. I hope his cousin gave him that ride home I was going to give him. Haha, I felt like a jerk, but I couldn't find him anywhere in the store.
If you've never heard of Two Hours Traffic or Sweet Thing, I'd recommend you look them up. The Verge (XM 52) is a really great radio station. It always has the best indie.
I never got to clean my bathroom. I think I'll stay home tomorrow after I go to GoodWill and buy some more root beer and cream soda from Walmart.
I guess I'm going to do those papers tonight that I didn't get to this morning. Or at least start them.
But, before I go, I did another assignment. I want to do them as often as possible.
Assignment #11:
'Til tomorrow.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
"To Hell With the Yankees! Dammit, I Mean the Spaniards!"
Today I learned how to be content with the things I have. Like every typical teenage girl, I usually get tired of the clothes in my closet every time the season changes. I've been feeling a little guilty about this for the past couple of weeks, wanting to go buy new clothes constantly. So after putting away some laundry I had noticed a couple pieces that I don't typically wear any more and wondered how they'd look together. This turned into a two hour remix of things that I haven't worn in months and things that I usually wear that don't seem like a likely pair. I noticed that I actually had stuff that I liked. I started to notice this with the things around me that I've decided to keep this weekend. I've been applying this to more than just material things and I no longer feel so guilty.
I also gained a bit of patience today through prayer. I was astonished at the instant gratification I received. These past few days have been so incredible. I don't remember ever being this happy in the past few years.
Aside from that, it was a pretty average day, though, not boring. I spent another hour bringing out things from my room to the storage bins and went to Walmart for groceries where I ran into Josh pushing carts. It's always nice to say hi to Josh.
I really didn't get much school work done. I spent a lot of time here trying to take pictures of the Sun for a LTLYM assignment, but it seemed to had been hiding. I did read a chapter for APUSH, but I have two papers to complete for that class tonight. I guess I'll study for my Anatomy test during Art, even though I was so looking forward to creating an Andy Warhol-inspired painting using Dita Von Teese as my model. I love Dita. I'll probably only end up writing one or a little of both and finishing them tomorrow morning... Or I could just do both tomorrow. I'm such a procrastinator. I don't really like it all that much any more.
Time to prepare for bed if I plan on waking up early.
Night.
I also gained a bit of patience today through prayer. I was astonished at the instant gratification I received. These past few days have been so incredible. I don't remember ever being this happy in the past few years.
Aside from that, it was a pretty average day, though, not boring. I spent another hour bringing out things from my room to the storage bins and went to Walmart for groceries where I ran into Josh pushing carts. It's always nice to say hi to Josh.
I really didn't get much school work done. I spent a lot of time here trying to take pictures of the Sun for a LTLYM assignment, but it seemed to had been hiding. I did read a chapter for APUSH, but I have two papers to complete for that class tonight. I guess I'll study for my Anatomy test during Art, even though I was so looking forward to creating an Andy Warhol-inspired painting using Dita Von Teese as my model. I love Dita. I'll probably only end up writing one or a little of both and finishing them tomorrow morning... Or I could just do both tomorrow. I'm such a procrastinator. I don't really like it all that much any more.
Time to prepare for bed if I plan on waking up early.
Night.
I'm Not Arrogant, I Just Love How Awesome I Am
He's making me tough for something special, I just have to wait to see what it is.
Sometimes I feel like He loves me more than everyone else ;)
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Caring Is Creepy
So, overall, today was pretty epic... in a good way. For the first time since I was probably a baby - no joke - my room is dusted, vacuumed, and organized from the tops of my shelves to under my bed to inside all drawers to my cabinet thing. The recycling bins are full and the side door to my house is blocked from even more. There was a bag of garbage thrown away and three or four bags for GoodWill and consignment. I seriously must have gotten rid of at least half of the junk that was in here. I also have two huge tubs full of things that I don't use put away for storage so there's less to move when it's time to start construction on this side of the house. I'm so excited to redecorate my future room; I think I've got some pretty neat ideas.
I also had finally decorated my Munny Kathleen gave me in January last week and I feel like posting a few pictures because Tara's the only one who's yet to see it. He has roller skates.
Here's more pictures from the aquarium. There would be more but my camera shut off in the middle of Flickr's processing the pictures.Those critters were so fun to take pictures of.
I couldn't find the story that was supposed to be on MSNBC that I saw a preview for on Channel One at school. It was upsetting.
All of the shelves in my room are completely empty aside from a coin jar and a small bank my mother made me when I was little. It feels so empty with everything missing from the shelves. I want to take them all down and put pieces of art in their place.
I found a lot of cool things too, like prayer journals and booklets from different youth services and activities when I went to Oakview Baptist Church. I also found stacks and stacks of doodles and notes, my prayer box, and a diabetes prevention planner that my mother bought me last year - she's convinced my hypoglycemia will one day escalate into type two diabetes because of my lack of a good diet and "good" exercise. I think she just worries too much.
Finding all of my things from Oakview made me miss having a home church. If only Okeechobee didn't suck. I really think a lot of the people here are a little backwards and all of the other youth groups I've tried to be involved in seemed kind of like a non-accepting clique.
Anyway, the project took me collectively about thirteen hours to complete. I actually cleaned for 8 consecutive hours today; from 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. I wish I would've had more time to complete other smaller tasks, but I did get a two hour nap in! So maybe I'll work on something tonight since I'll probably be up later.
I found a lot of cool things too, like prayer journals and booklets from different youth services and activities when I went to Oakview Baptist Church. I also found stacks and stacks of doodles and notes, my prayer box, and a diabetes prevention planner that my mother bought me last year - she's convinced my hypoglycemia will one day escalate into type two diabetes because of my lack of a good diet and "good" exercise. I think she just worries too much.
Finding all of my things from Oakview made me miss having a home church. If only Okeechobee didn't suck. I really think a lot of the people here are a little backwards and all of the other youth groups I've tried to be involved in seemed kind of like a non-accepting clique.
Anyway, the project took me collectively about thirteen hours to complete. I actually cleaned for 8 consecutive hours today; from 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. I wish I would've had more time to complete other smaller tasks, but I did get a two hour nap in! So maybe I'll work on something tonight since I'll probably be up later.
I seriously went all out today, vacuuming the dust from my curtains, lint-rolling pillows, and washing out the inside of my garbage can. It feels good. I also washed my bed sheet, found some clean pillow cases, and plan on taking my comforter to the dry cleaners on Monday.
I took an after video. I think I'm going to ask Becca to upload it and the pre-cleaning video to one of my accounts tomorrow when I go to borrow a book if I don't go to my grandparent's house.
Going through my things I thought about how much Derek's impacted my life. I've changed so much since that September. I'm starting to feel like God wanted it to happen to me. I'm starting to feel glad that it happened. Well, not really glad, but it's caused a lot of positive turn around. Who I was was completely centered on what I had done, or rather, what I hadn't. Although I was pretty down about it, I saw the changes even then. Good ol' Joel; thank God for Joel and his pep-talk that made me realize that it wasn't the end of the world. I am relevant and I have a purpose... somewhere. It feels so good to actually do things for myself and not depend on someone else.
Going through my things I thought about how much Derek's impacted my life. I've changed so much since that September. I'm starting to feel like God wanted it to happen to me. I'm starting to feel glad that it happened. Well, not really glad, but it's caused a lot of positive turn around. Who I was was completely centered on what I had done, or rather, what I hadn't. Although I was pretty down about it, I saw the changes even then. Good ol' Joel; thank God for Joel and his pep-talk that made me realize that it wasn't the end of the world. I am relevant and I have a purpose... somewhere. It feels so good to actually do things for myself and not depend on someone else.
On a less serious note, I made a peacock out of a dollar bill! Haha. I had found this dollar origami book and decided that I needed to take a 20 minute break and make a peacock.
I also had finally decorated my Munny Kathleen gave me in January last week and I feel like posting a few pictures because Tara's the only one who's yet to see it. He has roller skates. Here's more pictures from the aquarium. There would be more but my camera shut off in the middle of Flickr's processing the pictures.Those critters were so fun to take pictures of. I couldn't find the story that was supposed to be on MSNBC that I saw a preview for on Channel One at school. It was upsetting.Second assignment next week!
No more sick-y me! Hurrah.
I need to drink more water.
... and a pro Flickr account.
30 old c.d.s were added to the 'pod. Epic.
Organic Fuji apples are good for the soul.
The Shins are the greatest band ever.
Can spring cleaning be an obsession?
I want a cook book.
I'm convinced I'd make the perfect housewife. Haha.
Shower time.
I'm convinced I'd make the perfect housewife. Haha.
Shower time.
Night.
The Mortality of My Morals
I completed my first assignment! Horrah! It took quite some time to accomplish, though. I decided to start out in baby steps, choosing assignment #63 and hanging it on my bedroom door. Glue didn't work so I had to use tape... a lot of tape. I also made a small bag of confetti with the bits of leftover paper that I'm not really sure when I'll use, but it'll be some time I actually feel relevant. I think feeling relevant is important and worth celebrating. Joel told me I was relevant earlier this week, so that's how I decided what I'd make my banner about.It may not be the prettiest, but it serves a purpose.
I've been getting more and more sick the past couple days being around my sick mother. I guess she's getting me back for when I had gotten her sick back in January. The nasal drippage has caused me to be a lot less hungry than I normally am. I always feel like I loose too much weight when I'm sick. The sneezing is the worst part, though. I'm out of tissues and I probably need to wash my bed sheets.
I saw Tara today! It was really nice seeing her again. It's always nice to see her, especially now that she lives over two (... or is it three?) hours away.
I didn't really get much accomplished school-wise today and they won't let me buy a parking spot because I've gotten 10 tardys in the what? 200 or so days that I attend school a year. So I'll be playing catch-up tomorrow with my studies and starting to ask my mom for money to park in three-dollar parking everyday. Three-dollar parking isn't as expensive as everyone thinks it is; it's a lot cheaper than the $50 my mom was paying people to take me to school every week. On the bright side, I did manage to get to my first class on time! That's a real accomplishment for me.
While I was waiting on Tara, I began to clean my room rather thoroughly, more so than I ever have. I took a video of the mess before I started, but am having difficulties uploading it. I'll have someone else upload it for me as well as one of the result of my hard work once I finish... tomorrow?
I also started writing a song today. There's something about putting feelings into metaphores that makes things seem like they have a lot more hope. I hope to finish it tomorrow and maybe playing a little accoustic guitar with it. So much better than writing poetry or sappy diary entries.
Time for bed, but first, here are a couple pictures from the Florida Aquarium in Tampa:
Hey look! I'm a hermit!
Night.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Day Two
Unfortunately, I ended up sleeping an extra three hours, making my intended one hour nap a four hour nap. Meaning, I was unable to do my first assignment today. I guess that'll be on the list for tomorrow, the list that never seems to stop growing. This weekend will be a busy weekend; but I'm supposed to be going to my grandmother's house in Mount Dora Sunday, so I don't know if I'll get it all done.
My mom's been sick since last week and I'm beginning to feel worse and worse myself. She's missed work at Brighton every day so far this week, so I'm hoping she'll feel okay enough to go tomorrow so I don't have to see her here when I'm home. My car is being taken away for the weekend because of cerfew violations. She worries way too much for someone who constantly implies that they could care less.
I was going to at least upload some pictures I took from the art club feild trip yesterday that I took at the aquarium in Tampa, but I can't seem to find the USB cord for it. It was a fun feild trip, though. We also went to the Salvadore Dali art museum; he seemed too be quite the influence for a lot of modern art. I can't wait for our next feild trip in May.
I have yet to eat anything today aside from a few twizzlers, and I feel like cooking. Unfortunately it's 9:47, too late for cooking. It's Tara day tomorrow, so maybe I'll cook after school. I guesss I'll eat leftovers from when I cooked last week; the person I cooked them for won't be back... bummout.
More things to do: start other small projects such as becoming healthier and preparing my room for construction and record my progress here as well. I'm planning on making this journey to self-improvement well-rounded and not just focused on one thing or just doing assignments from LearningtoLoveYouMore. I also need to work on doing a lot more art in my free time once my I have cleaned my mess of a room instead of sleeping to escape the jungle it's become.
Anyway, I'm really hungry, so I'll post something interesting tomorrow.
My mom's been sick since last week and I'm beginning to feel worse and worse myself. She's missed work at Brighton every day so far this week, so I'm hoping she'll feel okay enough to go tomorrow so I don't have to see her here when I'm home. My car is being taken away for the weekend because of cerfew violations. She worries way too much for someone who constantly implies that they could care less.
I was going to at least upload some pictures I took from the art club feild trip yesterday that I took at the aquarium in Tampa, but I can't seem to find the USB cord for it. It was a fun feild trip, though. We also went to the Salvadore Dali art museum; he seemed too be quite the influence for a lot of modern art. I can't wait for our next feild trip in May.
I have yet to eat anything today aside from a few twizzlers, and I feel like cooking. Unfortunately it's 9:47, too late for cooking. It's Tara day tomorrow, so maybe I'll cook after school. I guesss I'll eat leftovers from when I cooked last week; the person I cooked them for won't be back... bummout.
More things to do: start other small projects such as becoming healthier and preparing my room for construction and record my progress here as well. I'm planning on making this journey to self-improvement well-rounded and not just focused on one thing or just doing assignments from LearningtoLoveYouMore. I also need to work on doing a lot more art in my free time once my I have cleaned my mess of a room instead of sleeping to escape the jungle it's become.
Anyway, I'm really hungry, so I'll post something interesting tomorrow.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
First Entry
My first blog... and I'm not really sure what to say. It's actually pretty late, but it was a horrible day, so I probably need to start this. For the past few days, I've been so excited to start this project. Some time ago I stumbled upon LearningtoLoveYouMore.com, which is a wonderful website that provides those who accept the challenge of improving one's self an assignment with the ultimate goal of just what the website's URL says, teaching those who struggle, and even those who don't, to love themselves more.
Attempting to become less of a homebody, I've realized how alone I am in this world, and me being so needy hasn't had the easiest of times coping. I've come to the conclusion that no one is going to make me feel better about myself but me, no one is going to teach me how to be a better person but me, and that at the end of this project, no one will be able to judge me but me. I have to learn to become my own hero, care about myself as much as I deserve to be cared about, and teach myself every social and self-developmental skill that I lack. I'm excited to be starting this project because it's a great starting point on my journey to self-improvement, which is excatly what I think I need.
For this project I will try to do as many assignments as I can (or at least the ones I see fit) from LearningtoLoveYouMore.com. I also plan on creating a new Flickr account as well as some other new internet accounts that I will make and post links for on a later day. I want to use these accounts to mark my progess and to have a little fun with it along the way.
I'm hoping to also use this journey to maybe help some others with their own internal conflict, and to let my friends and family know how I'm doing with my journey.
And so, I hope to have this whole blog thing situated by tomorrow as well as having a couple new accounts, some links up for them and my first assignment completed with pictures and another blog entry.
So good night, it's awefully late.
Attempting to become less of a homebody, I've realized how alone I am in this world, and me being so needy hasn't had the easiest of times coping. I've come to the conclusion that no one is going to make me feel better about myself but me, no one is going to teach me how to be a better person but me, and that at the end of this project, no one will be able to judge me but me. I have to learn to become my own hero, care about myself as much as I deserve to be cared about, and teach myself every social and self-developmental skill that I lack. I'm excited to be starting this project because it's a great starting point on my journey to self-improvement, which is excatly what I think I need.
For this project I will try to do as many assignments as I can (or at least the ones I see fit) from LearningtoLoveYouMore.com. I also plan on creating a new Flickr account as well as some other new internet accounts that I will make and post links for on a later day. I want to use these accounts to mark my progess and to have a little fun with it along the way.
I'm hoping to also use this journey to maybe help some others with their own internal conflict, and to let my friends and family know how I'm doing with my journey.
And so, I hope to have this whole blog thing situated by tomorrow as well as having a couple new accounts, some links up for them and my first assignment completed with pictures and another blog entry.
So good night, it's awefully late.
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