In My Mind, I'm Everyone I Need

The weekend is here and I can feel it! Tomorrow will be the last chance to put the final touches on things for the play, although I'm pretty sure we're already done. Maybe we can work on the mural! I'd have Sammy to help, so it wouldn't be so bad.
Today was progress report day, and I'm not sure how I feel about how I'm doing.
English 3 - A (YES! I haven't been sleeping haha)
AP American History - D (Yay! I'm not failing!)
Art 2 - A
Anatomy - F (I have a test to make up)
Intergrated Math 3 - C (I have assignments to turn in)
Spanish - B (WHAT?! This makes me sad)
I guess I'd have to see how I'm doing in about a week to really know what's going on with all of that.
Today was also jail and bail. It was super gay. I want to make our class' jail and bail ten times better than that, so I'm hoping to have one of next year's class officers in a class or two.
Everywhere I look, I see some couple getting engaged, or some kids kissing at school, a couple girls fighting over some boy, etc. It seems to me that the world sort of revolves around the idea of having some type of romantic partner. It makes me laugh a little because I know, and am comfortable admitting, that I was once a part of that. It seems so ridiculous to me now that anyone my age would even care about something as such. To get so worked up over something that has a 99% chance of just backfiring on you is, what I believe to be, a sign of insanity. I guess the world is that full of hopeless romantics. It seems to me that the world's (or at least what I've seen in this small portion of it) idea of love is a litte warped, keeping it restricted to the idea of some type of mate. My suggestion to them would be to look at this. I was thinking and I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather not be so inclined to put myself out there romantically for a boy; I'd be content staying busy, doing something that makes a difference for people, and I'm glad God gave me that desire to change my world and the apathy towards things I really don't need. It reminds me of the days in my freshman year that I wanted to become a nun and join the convent. Haha.
My tummy hurts. I probably shouldn't eat Milk Duds again. Oh well.
I took a 3 hour nap after I got home from art club and I don't know how I'm going to be able to get back to bed. I'll make it work somehow.
I'm excited for the weekend, even though I don't have plans and will probably end up staying home for the entire thing. No school is no school and that's all that counts. I think I'll want to sketch or maybe go take pictures of something pointless. Who knows.
I'm also excited about seeing the play tomorrow! I love the 40's and 50's, so I'm thinking I'll enjoy it, regardless of the turnout. It makes me want to rent Cry Baby. Maybe I'll do that this weekend.
I have a car full of soda and only one class to attend to tomorrow.
I need to wash that car and pester my mother about fixing it's broken tail light. She'll never get it done unless I continuously poke at her to do it.
Well, it's time to get ready for tomorrow and try to sleep!

"For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit[f] of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way" - Ephesians 15-23

I Had To Post These

Political jokes are the best.

HAHAHAHA, silly Reverend Wright.

Stumbeline

It's Tuesday and I didn't take a self portrait! Darn.
Today I was so caught up in the stress of trying to get things done by tomorrow in art club. The drama club's play, "Leader of the Pack", is Thursday, so we're having to cut music notes, records, and old cars out of cardboard (which is really hard!) and paint them. We got so much done today, even if we didn't have a lot of people show up. I guess I'll be staying after until 5:30 again tomorrow. I want to get the music notes laid out and painted on the mural by the play at 7 pm Thursday. I'm not sure if I can lay them out though, so I'll probably just have Matt do that tomorrow. Haha. We don't have much to do tomorrow, so I'm thinking we'll be done by 4-ish.
Exhausted by school and the 3.5 hours following it, I really didn't do much else. Got some laundry done and went to WalMart... twice! It's a good thing I like running errands.
I'm so tired and my body aches.
I turned in my essay for A.P.U.S.H. though! Only a day late when they're normally over a week. I'm kinda proud, even though the essay probably sucked. The new type of quizes Mr. Matchett is starting to give out is killing me. I did better today that I did Friday, but I still failed it with a 30. I made a "hat of failure" out of it before I handed it in.
It was kind of a bad day. I was 3 minutes late and I saw something I really didn't want to see. I guess God wanted me to see it and I have this feeling in my gut that it was important to my self-growth that I saw it. It bummed me out, but I'll be praying about it. I'm starting to notice that I pray more and more every day. It kind of makes me feel weird that I don't take time in the morning or evening and kneel by my bed to talk to God like I see everyone else doing. I always talk to him when I'm driving, walking to class, sitting around, or even in class. Sometimes I feel like the way I think and do things are a little too liberal.
People always see me mumbling prayers everywhere and I'm sure their thinking that I'm talking to myself and it makes me giggle.
I wish tape stuck for longer periods of time. Ever since I made that "You Are Relevant" banner, I've had trouble with it coming off of my door. I think Learning To Love You More specifically designed the project with instructions that wouldn't hold the banners on for long, making the maker continually have to put it back up and look about it, reminding them of the message it says. Sometimes I wonder if I make as much sense in other people's minds as I do my own.
Today I also realized that I spell theatre and litre different from everyone else. Made me feel kinda dumb.
Tomorrow is screenprinting day! Yay!
But for now, it's time to have another go at waking up early.
Night.

Been Rubbing A Bad Charm With Holy Fingers

Yesterday was Sunday, meaning the PostSecret website was updated. Of all of the cards sent in that I've seen, this is my favourite:I've been wondering if who I used to be about a year ago was any better than who I am now. I seemed to be closer to God, but I've never felt so connected with Him that I can remember. The theory I'm starting to believe is that going in a forward motion, you can only improve.
I couldn't pull myself out of bed this morning. I wanted to get to bed by 9 tonight, but that'll never happen. I need to work more on my sleeping schedule.
I've got so much homework to do and I'm struggling with patience. High school road rage is not fun. Boys are idiots.
I wish I weren't so lazy! I need to find a way to get more efficient sleep so I won't be tired all of the time.
Maybe I will go to bed at 9 and just get up early and do everything then.
My cat will only stop meowing when I hold him. He likes my soup broth, too.
I've decided that next year it would be best that I carry a backpack... and I should probably carry my lunch to school as well. I'm obsessed with the idea of bento boxes:With my new found love of cooking, I'll probably have to give it a shot.
I've been so hungry lately and it upsets me to eat so much and wanting to lose weight. I must be growing again. Oh well, I wanted to be taller anyways.

It's 9:03! Another snack, a quick face washing and teeth brushing, then it's off to bed!

I'm trying to read the verse of the day everyday on BibleGateway.com. Today's verse is:
“Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!”- Philippians 2:5-8

Enjoy the Shins I put up yesterday!

It's In Despair That I Find Faith

It was another lazy day. I stayed home in my p.j.s all day and did chores. I also did this:(Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows. -Mathew 10:31 Old King Jame's version... yeah, that still is my favourite Bible.)

I'm not sure if I'm done with it, but that's definitely my new favourite verse. I thought it was pretty comforting, so I put it up on the wall in front of my desk in case I need a little reassurance. Funny how God always gives me what I need when I pray for it, and quick too!

I also came upon a new favourite song: "Art In Me" by Jars of Clay. They'll always be one of my all-time favourite bands.

Today I got to eat my leftover steak and mashed potatoes from the Cheesecake Factory and I'm still working on the litre and a half bottle of water we got from Whole Foods. It's got to be the biggest water bottle ever. I took a picutre of it next to a family-sized Lay's potatoe chip bag to show proportion. I'm fascinated by it's immenseness.

I'm pretty stoked about the shoes I got yesterday, too. Haha, I'm such a girl. Anyway, oxfords are the best and so are peacock feather hair clips.

I wish I could wear my latex leggings as pants, like I always do, at school. I'd probably wear them everyday.

Flickr's about gay as it gets. I struggle with patience.

Apples and granola all day every day. Yum.

I want to hang out with Kathleen more!

I didn't do my homework. HA! I hate it.

I need to clean my room again!

I'm going to try to get up a little before 5 tomorrow. I want to take a jog before I shower. Apples, granola, and soy chai protein; then shower, homework and off to school!

Goodnight.

"So I'm a little out of center,

I'm a little out of tune.

Some say I'm paranormal,

So I just bend their spoon.

Who wants to be ordinary

in a crazy mixed up world?

I don't care what they're saying

So what if I see the sunshine,

In the pouring rain?

Some people think I'm crazy.

They, they just read me wrong"

Let It Go

Today went fairly well. I went to the mall with my mom instead of getting everything done that I had planned on. I still have all day tomorrow for that. Anyway, I'm pretty excited about the couple of things I got, especially this peacock feather hair thing that I'm probably going to wear everyday. Haha. Mom let me drive all the way their and back, and she bought me gas too! Pretty surprising. She and I always seem to feel closer after we see my father. He was here this morning to pick up some of his things. First time I've seen him in a couple months. He's starting to look better now that he's not so sick, but he still is very thin on the top and very very bulgy at the upper abdomen, which slopes inward as it gets closer to his bottom half in an awkward manner. I gave him my old desktop computer and will be making him some chili some time this week.
I don't really feel like eating anything but apples any more. I probably won't after tomorrow. I also need to start jogging again; might make me feel better about myself.
My longings make me physically ache. My prayer list gets longer and longer by the day.
I need to wash this mess off of my face before it hits my desk, fast asleep.
Night.

"Hi Boy!"

It's 11 and I've been sleeping all day. I really don't feel like doing anything today. I kind of wish it was raining. I really wand ice cream too.

There's a lot I want to do today, though: fix a zipper pull, clean my bathroom, finish an anatomy assignment, write at least the beginning of a paper, watch he is legend with my mom.... and get ice cream! Haha. I think I'll put a little bleach on the vest I found yesterday. Oh, and water the flowers!

So, yesterday I got to talk to Joel. He told me to pray for some things. He's pretty good at giving advice. So I prayed and then Zach and I went over to a consignment store and GoodWill. We found an awesome denim vest, a couple plaid flannel shirts, some shoes, and a bunch of cassette tapes for my car since it doesn't have a c.d. player. We found this weird one, something about cannibals. Turned out to be awkward 80's music. The Ratt one's pretty neat, though.

After eating dinner with his family at Los Cocos, we took his little sister over to the playground and planted some flowers for assignment #36:A little boy came up to us, asking where our sons were and if he could help. I loved it.

I'm still praying for more, even though I probably shouldn't. Things are starting to look a little better, but I still think I'm supposed to be alone.

Time for a shower!