Starting Point

Dos Compadres

2008-07-25T01:49:00.004-04:00

I forgot to mention that my senior pictures were taken a little while ago. I hate them all except this one, which still isn't all that great.I am going to look like a retard in the yearbook. Oh well.
Didn't get to see Zach and I might not see him until the week after next. Bust.
Tonight was dinner at Pueblo Viejo's and movie night with Mom. We watched pretty much my favourite movie, "The Waterfall" then I watched one of the prequels to my favourite book in the 8th grade, V.C. Andrew's "Rain". It was great to watch them both and I really feel like heating up my leftovers.
I overwhelm myself with the things I want to accomplish and my mom put me on sleeping pills. I don't think I can stay awake much longer.
It was a wonderful evening.

That's It.

2008-07-24T00:44:00.002-04:00

I waste my days and it's really aggrivating.
I watched 'Planet of the Apes' twice. I love it.
I have a new obsession with the sea and it's creatures, mainly the cephalopod family (but mostly the nautilus). I want to live in the nautilus house.

“Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely, who conducts his affairs with justice.”- Psalm 112:5

That's it.

1:23 07232008

2008-07-23T01:21:00.002-04:00

I haven't felt like doing this in a while.
Well I went to see my dad on Saturday, which went okay I suppose. There was a bunch of family members there, so it made it a little awkward, especially since they were talking for him. It was terrible to see him in that condition though; he had trouble staying awake and he had the worst case of jaundice I've ever seen, even his eyes were noticeably yellow. Which kind of made me feel bad about the flower bouquet I had picked out for him - yellow yellow yellow. And all of the machines and needles and blood stains on his gown made me feel really sorry for him. I want to take him some sort of gift soon. Though, fortunately he says he's been saved, and that's all I could hope for right now. I have no idea what his chances for surviving are, but I think they're better than they seem. I have a feeling that all of my praying is going to pay off eventually.
My mom and I also did a little shopping Saturday, but I've kind of been thinking about just making some of my own clothes. I've watched every episode of Threadbanger in the past two days and there's a lot of ideas. I have also been working on a couple things that Zach needs to put on our Etsy for me. He should also stop thinking that he can't do things.
I need to start doing LTLYM assignments again. I found this cool website that I want to be a part of too called You-Are-Beautiful.com and it sends free stickers to those who send in a self-adressed stamped envelope to put in public places. I think it sounds like a pretty cool project.
Next school year, I don't want to be in the drawing & painting 2 class, but rather the portfolio class, so Zach's suggested that I make a mini portfolio this summer to show the teacher so that I might be able to skip a year in that particular program. I'm hoping it works. So hopefully I'll be posting up some new artwork sometime soon.
Tomorrow I have to make more soup and I'm going to see if I can get with Clayton to make some camo tie dye. Maybe I'll get up before 4 pm. Let's just hope.

Cool Titles Are Overrated

2008-07-19T03:27:00.002-04:00

Pictures I took in Marco Island with my phone. I would have taken more from more places other than the balcony, but my being sick ness wasn't a big fan of that.

I must get a picture of Zach's shaved head tomorrow. Going to visit Dad in the morning in Ft. Pierce, then go to WPB for a little shopping with Zach if he gets back in time. If not, BATMAN! Yes!

I really really really really really really really really want this camera. Fisheye Holga.

I have a feeling that I'm not going to get any sleep tonight.

Lomography.com

2008-07-18T03:51:00.003-04:00

I don't remember much of last week, aside from being with Zach and getting Shrek's tongue pierced, but this week I've been in Marco Island without acess to the internet from a computer. Unfortunately I was sick the entire time, and still am, leaving me cooped up in the hotel room all week. I was hoping to spend tons of time on the beach, but of course the weather wouldn't allow it either. In fact, the bridge into the island was closed down due to the amount of rainfall. But the dinners were good, the only time I really ever came out of the room. At one dinner I got the honor of meeting and speaking with a very powerful member of ACOA (adult children of alcoholics).
Though, while there I received a pretty unfortunate call from my grandmother about my father. He's been I.C.U. in Ft. Pierce for a little over a week now, waiting for a liver transplant. Doctors have informed my family that he's not going to make it. He's now hooked up to a dialysis machine to support his kidney failure. They say he has less than a month, maybe less than a week left to live. I really need to see him, with a Bible. I'm not really sure as to how I feel about it all yet.
There's a lot of crazy things going on. The Who is my new obsession, Courney Love my hero, a man gives birth to a baby, and batman sunglasses and a lomography fisheye camera are at the top of my most wanted list. More Etsy items; Robert Smith, Chuck Norris, and Courtney Love masks, and pictures coming up.
I wish I were tired.

Temporary

2008-07-11T03:41:00.001-04:00

"Change. it has the power to uplift, to heal, to stimulate, surprise, open new doors, bring fresh experience, and create excitement in life. Certainly it is worth the risk."
- Leo Buscaglia

"Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'"
Matthew 19:26

Misleading

2008-07-09T02:04:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was a bad day. But today, Zach and I put up a bracelet that I finished today, one like the headband I had made. I want to make lots more. I'm pretty proud of them. We also planned out and got started on a couple of other projects.
Tomorrow is the day that I take my senior pictures and I have a terrible feeling that they will come out horrible. I really need a haircut. I'm due next month for my annual haircut any way.
There are too many things that I want to do. I feel unfulfilled.
I should work on improving my vocabulary. I miss speaking in Spanglish.

My nerves will always get the best of me.

Fatties

2008-07-06T22:32:00.002-04:00

For the Fourth of July, I spent some time with Clayton; then he, my mom, and I went to the reservation to watch fireworks. They were pretty big, but they should have had BBQ 'cause I was hungry.

Clayton is silly. We made eachother bracelets and ate noodles.

For the most part, I've been at Zach's house ever since I got the car back on Tuesday. One day we went to the bowling alley. I wish I had a little sister too.

Yesterday I drove him and Shrek around. I'm getting low on gas, but I got free nachos out of it.

I also went to get ice cream with Cassidy and Katie before she left for Europe. My phone is fun.

Cassidy is a chef.

I'm blue.
And Katie's Katie.

This past Tuesday I went to Crue Fest with Mom, which was pretty cool minus the millions of topless women and Buckcherry. The night consisted of almost breaking my hand, beer baths, rain, getting felt up by a drunk guy, almost dying on the road more than once, more rain, not buying a tour shirt for the first time ever, stale pretzels, crazy pyrotechs and awesome lights, and old people.

Today Zach and I put up stuff on our etsy and I started on a new bracelet like my headband. Mom kept pulling out my baby pictures and showing them to Zach. Lame. I also went through my old doll chest and rearranged a couple shelves. Go here.

Tomorrow: write Zach's paper, watch "Awake" with Zach and Alli, run errands, make things.

Yay!

!

2008-07-06T17:14:00.002-04:00

Zach posted the last one. He's silly. I know I've been putting this off, but I'll update later on tonight.

P.S. Check out http://megusta.etsy.com. Zach and I finally put up a couple bracelets. We've got tons more of ideas for other things to make. There'll be more up soon. Yay!

:)

2008-07-06T13:20:00.000-04:00

I love Zach.

I'm Too Lazy To Write A Real Blog

2008-07-03T00:03:00.002-04:00

“Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people.”- Proverbs 14:34

Everyone's Leaving

2008-06-30T22:32:00.002-04:00

I hate anime.

Yesterday I made this pretty cool headband out of lace, stretchy string, beads, buttons, and a silk flower. I think it turned out really pretty.

Today I made soup for my mom with tons of vegetables and some ground buffalo. It was pretty tasty.
I also took pictures of the current state of the addition. I only uploaded 3 though; I took quite a few.

There is ice cream in the freezer waiting for me to eat it.

2008-06-28T21:39:00.003-04:00

My mother and I went out to eat last night. It was really good and it was great to get out of the house, even if it was just for a little while. It's close to being Sunday and the auto repair shop has yet to call. Monday they will be closed all day and Tuesday, my mother and I are going to see Motley Crue. I might get it Tuesday, though. I hope; I wanted to see Katie before she leaves for France on Thursday.
I've been having terrible headaches, stomache aches, dizzyness, and other physical discomforts.
I really want to watch Ratatouille, Dracula, and some partionally fictional movie about the Hollocaust and war, and make Burlesque type masks.
Tomorrow there will be another Law & Order marathon. Yay!
I really miss cooking and doing assignments.
I never took pictures of the current state of the addition; I keep forgetting. Though, my mom and I did roller skate in it today. It was terribly hot and humid out.
National Tresure is on! I love it.
I'm so awfully tired, though.

6/26/08

2008-06-26T15:05:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I got to see Zach for the first time in probably 2 weeks. It was nice to see someone other than my mother and the men working on the house.

Last night a Law & Order marathon started and it has consumed my life since.

I had another wierd dream, this time about someone different. It was really uncomfortable.

I was thinking, and I really need to get on this Bible Study thing. I'm hoping that I can get Kristine, Katie, Cassidy, Jessica, and Megan to let me preach to them, but probably not all of them at once since some of them are going to be taking trips out of state, and some out of the country.

The guys at the auto-repair place are currently painting my car and it should be ready tomorrow. Too bad Zach left for Orlando, I think, for the weekend. I need to start being more social anyway.

Lately I've been pretty into researching chemtrails. By putting aluminum oxide and barium (carcinogens), researchers think that the government is either trying to kill off people to keep population down, or trying to keep the population able to be easily controlled. It's really scary sounding.

Hooray for USA marathons.

“Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.”- Leviticus 19:18

I'm working on that.

No Bueno

2008-06-25T12:18:00.002-04:00

My life is awefully boring. The construction workers listen to country... loudly. Zach's supposed to be coming over at 2. I've been up for over 7 hours already. It's SO BORING.

This is my self portrait for yesterday.

I still need to take pictures of the addition progress. I can't wait to get the car back on Friday.

Chewy Pudding

2008-06-24T06:44:00.004-04:00

Dang, I keep putting this off.

Since June 12th, I have:

for the most part, stayed home, by myself.

done tons of chores.

eaten tons of spaghettios.

had a wierd sleep schedual that would make me wake up in between 3 and 4, and only have a few hours of sleep. I'm starting to sleep more now, though. But I'm still getting up pretty early.

gotten my report card. My mom was really angry that I have a 2.6 unweighted GPA (3.1 weighted). a 2.6 is what, the lowest possible B you can get? I mean yeah, I probably should work on bringing it up to at least a 3.0 (I'm guessing that's about an 85% B), but a 2.6 (80% B?) isn't worth the outrage she was in.

missed out on senior pictures. The school didn't send me anything to go, so I guess I just won't be in the year book. Bummout.

went to the mall with my mom twice. The first ended in a failed attempt to get a new phone after spending an hour and a half at the kiosk and some pretty good manicotti at Olive Garden. The second, I finally got a phone. It's pretty amazing. We also checked out Lenscrafters, which was pretty cool, too. Might get some new purple frames for the new school year. Afterwards, we went to Panera and they have a pretty good Strawberry Poppyseed salad. No chicken. Yay!

had a lot of weird dreams about the same person. After not having dreams in a year or two, I'm a bit suspicious that God's trying to tell me something.

been listening to the extremely loud construction. The addition is going along fine, but I can't use any electrical appliance when the carpenters are using the power saw; keeps blowing the fuse.

decided on the layout of my many back tattoos. I still want a really big gnarly and dead tree, representing the tree of the knowledge of good and evil; as well as a light and dark coloured bear on either side of the tree at the base, all dueling-like, that represet good and evil, as well as the two people who have influenced my life the most (one in a positive way and one in a negative way) because they both have/had the nickname of "bear"; and now I want two sparrows above the tree, one on each shoulder, holding a banner that has Genisis 2:17 on it ("but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die."; NIV version, I'm not sure if I want to get the old King James version instead). I'm expecting it to be pretty amazing.

had surprisingly amazing hygene skills for someone who does not step foot out of the house for days at a time.

figured out a lot about myself. I seem to be learning more and more about who I am, and who I used to be, all the time.

worked on Kathleen's birthday gift, even though her birthday was on the 7th. It's still not done - I haven't made/gotten things to put inside it. Though, it did take forever to make this one part. I sewed the zippy part of a plasic bag to the top of it!

took several pictures for self portrait Tuesday at sunrise last Tuesday. I chose the first, Zach chose the second. I need to take some for today as well.

made a couple bracelets and started on some others.

This is all I can remember right now. I'll probably make another post today, including pictures of the current state of addition.

Woah!

2008-06-21T11:26:00.002-04:00

It's been 9 days since my last update, I believe. Unfortuatly, I don't feel like typing 9 days worth of entries, so for now I'm just going to post Proverbs 31. It's about how a woman/wife of the Lord should be, and I've lately become obsessed with trying to modernize the verses and become this woman.

Proverbs 31
Sayings of King Lemuel
1 The sayings of King Lemuel—an oracle
his mother taught him:
2 "O my son, O son of my womb,
O son of my vows,
3 do not spend your strength on women,
your vigor on those who ruin kings.
4 "It is not for kings, O Lemuel—
not for kings to drink wine,
not for rulers to crave beer,
5 lest they drink and forget what the law decrees,
and deprive all the oppressed of their rights.
6 Give beer to those who are perishing,
wine to those who are in anguish;
7 let them drink and forget their poverty
and remember their misery no more.
8 "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
9 Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy."
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I Feel Like A Sea Monster

2008-06-11T22:18:00.004-04:00

I went to bed at 7 this morning and slept until 2 this afternoon. I'm hoping to get to bed by 1 tonight... haha that's not happening.
I was supposed to make bracelets this week. Maybe I'll start on it tonight.
I don't know what I want to cook for tomorrow. George is coming home with Zach tomorrow and they're supposed to be walking over. It'll be awkward.
I got to talk to Joel last night. That was indeed epic.
I need to make money, start exercising again, and make more masks. I'm doing a series of them.
Tara will always be my favourite person. She needs a vacation, though. Here that, Tara? You need a vacation.
The past will always come back to haunt me. Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing, I'm not sure of, but I'm amused regardless.

It's Been A Few Days

2008-06-11T03:02:00.002-04:00

I haven't done anything at all these past few days. I sleep all day and stay up all night.

I have nothing to say.

Life sucks.

5 hours with a ball point pen:

Interesante

2008-06-08T02:00:00.000-04:00

Today's verse from BibleGateway.com

“The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights. For the director of music. On my stringed instruments.”- Habakkuk 3:19

FYI: This Sucks.

2008-06-08T00:06:00.002-04:00

After doing Megan's hair and makeup for Amber's birthday party, I watched 'The Mist' and 'Girl, Interrupted' with Clayton and my mom. Watching the latter reminded me a lot of myself.
I wish my life prior to this moment could have been simpler, but I'm sure everyone else would like the same. Zach's beginning to add to the chaos. I think it's God telling me that it's time to let go.
"Test everything. Hold on to the good." - Joel the bear.
I think I crashed my car because He wants me to be more social. Seeing as I won't have a car for a bit, I'm going to have to bum rides to get out of my house, which is something I'm so accustomed to now and cannot stand being here for very long.
I become more and more surprised at the reactions of others the more I think about them. I've come to the conclusion that I will not find any compassion among any of these people who live in this world. I've decided to let my strength define me.
Joel hasn't called yet. I feel a little hopeless. I depend too much on him, but I don't feel like I have much else of physical means. By spiritual means, I feel I am abundant, but I tend to forget the feeling it gives me too easily and am quickly wound up in myself again.
I really want Yann Tiersen on my iPod. Or some melodramatic showtunes. Something instrumental. Something I can think to without my thoughts getting tangled up in annoying lyrics.

Summer Skin and Bad Luck v2.0

2008-06-06T16:04:00.003-04:00

I just got off the phone with my new claim adjuster. Unfortunately, I was too in shock to take a picture of my vehicle. They say I'll get it back in less than a week. I'm so upset.

My room is messy. Time to clean.

Summer Skin and Bad Luck

2008-06-06T02:27:00.002-04:00

I lost the stuffed pig that took six hours to make. A dump truck wrecked the front end of my car. Zach's gone for a week and I can't get hold of him. My forehead and shoulders are peeling.
Things aren't going great and I don't want to talk about it.

Little More Awkward Than It Seems

2008-06-03T23:56:00.002-04:00

I'm steadily getting more and more excited. I feel like baking and making bracelets. I plan on making as much stuff for Etsy as I can while Zach is gone so we can put stuff up when he gets back. I'm also almost done with "Pocket" the sock monster.
Tomorrow I want to make cupcakes after exams. I have to take the math and anatomy exam tomorrow, and I'm not all that worried. I took the a.p. history one today and I know I passed - probably with a D. Good enough for me.
Zach's leaving the day after tomorrow. I can't wait until he comes back home with the infamous George. It'll be nice to finally meet him. I need to cook before he comes!
This next week, if I can get my car back, I think I'll try to hang out with the gang a little. It's been so long since I've spent time with Clayton. Cupcake baking and basketball sounds fun. Johnny Cupcakes has taken over my life.
I'm still waiting on this sunburn to go away and I'm getting pretty anxious. My face feels really tight.
I also need to see Cassidy, Bradley, Kathleen, and Sarah a.s.a.p.! I think I'll plan a picnic for next week. Looking for shapes in the clouds is my favourite. Maybe even some bowling in Jensen with Cassidy.
Anyway, I have to go to school at 7, an hour earlier than I'm used to. Bed time it is!

Soma

2008-06-02T23:23:00.002-04:00

“so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.”- Hebrews 9:28

There's no need to worry about mistakes.

I got to school half way through my english semester exam, so I have to stay after tomorrow and finish it. Tomorrow is also a.p. history semester exam day and I have yet to study. I'll do it in the morning. I was supposed to go to sleep at 9.
I saw Tara today for the first time in a long time. Fun. Everything and everyone has changed and it all feels so strange in a bad way.
Zach and I are getting pretty into this sock creature making thing. I'm hoping to have my first one done by tomorrow night.
Not really much to write. I'm excited about the future, especially the near future - last day of school is Wednesday.
I'm thinking about one day going to visit Derek and re-attempt to bring God into his life. He needs it more than ever and more than anyone else I know. I feel bad for him sometimes, though I probably shouldn't.
I'm getting wrestless again. I don't like not knowing what will happen, but I guess it's God testing my faith in him. I need more mind-numbing activities.
My sunburn on my face and shoulders gets in the way of things. My jaw hurts and I have to pee.
'Till tomorrow.

Slump

2008-06-02T00:07:00.002-04:00

In a slump. I haven't done anything of much accomplishment in quite some time. I tried sketching a few things tonight and they came out pretty crappy. I would feel so much better if I were able to produce an exact image from my mind. It's filled with embarrassing mistakes, but I still don't regret anything. I have what I need to make me happy, but there's no way of working through this slump. I probably shouldn't worry about it. Though, I envy Zach's ability. But I am glad that I've found what I want; I realize it more and more everyday.
I didn't really do anything at school Friday. Checked out early with Zach to get Taco Bell. Haven't been working on a summer Bible study either, aside from school. The days have all become a blur.
I worked on the sock creature and snuck out to argue with Andrew at Zach's Saturday. Terrible night. I hope he leaves soon.
Today I went to the Dubois Park beach with Zach and his family. I really enjoyed it, even if the beach sucked, I got slightly sunburned, we had to leave extremely early, and I didn't take any pictures when I should have. I haven't been taking pictures of anything lately. Slump indeed.
It was nice to have had spent a little time with my mom this weekend. We made "banana boats" and watched Cloverfeild and Mad Money. Next weekend I think we'll be going to spend a day at Universal. Hooray!
It was raining a few minitues ago and I know I'm going to have trouble sleeping. It's almost 1 and I don't feel it at all.

Shiny Bright

2008-05-29T23:26:00.003-04:00

These past couple of days haven't been the best, but I've survived far worse.
Yesterday I arrived at school late because my mom had turned off my alarm clock. Figures. I had a very long discussion with my history teacher about how I'm brilliant but not focused, capable but not willing, blah blah blah. He always seems to talk forever. He went on about my mother, too. I guess I'm starting to understand why she's the way she is sometimes, but she really can't accept that I'm not a small child any more. I also talked to him about my aspirations to be a youth minister. He referred me to my anatomy teacher, a former youth minister.
Unfortunately, I had missed my curfew last night without calling my mother, so my car has been taken away from being used for recreational purposes for I have no idea how long. I'm starting to understand, though, so it seems kind of fair. I've decided to start caring a little more, just for her.
I was late to school again, but I really don't care. I had lost my keys and spent the first two hours of my morning looking for them. It's the end of the year, so it doesn't really matter.
We had a fiesta in Spanish class today and no one really ate the chili I stayed up to make last night. Oh well.
Tomorrow exams start. Fortunately I'm exempt, so Zach and I will probably check ourselves out early to go get Taco Bell or something. I think I want to start practicing teaching the Bible on Zach. Might be fun. Though, I do need to get together that group for the summer. I'll get phone numbers tomorrow, and I should get a hold of Marcy! Hurrah!

Vinyl toys and Ima Robot are the best.
I look weird in pink nail polish... or rather, anything girly.
Getting closer to finishing the sock creature.
Daisy buttons!
Sleepy me.
Night.

I Wanna Be A Joel When I Grow Up

2008-05-27T23:36:00.003-04:00

Yesterday wasn't all that epic, but it was still good. I drove over to Jensen with my mom and our first stop was Barnes & Noble, where they had crazy amounts of cupcake, baking, sewing, and origami kits and books that I wanted. Amazing. But we ended up getting a dang cool book about how to make neat things with cookie dough and this sock-creature making kit. The latter is my favourite; Zach and I started on one today and I'm stitching part of it now as I wait for Joel to get on instant messenger.
(blogspot is being gay again.)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaylaeff/2530359280/
Then she and I went to the mall to return my birthday/Christmas gifts from my cousin at Hottopic. Yay for amazing Slayer and Iron Maiden (it has vikings on it!!!!) shirts aaaaand the Early from the Squidbillies toy by KidRobot x Adult Swim. KidRobot is the best. EVER. Wetzel's Pretzels and the gumball machines at that mall are my new favourites.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaylaeff/2530357472/
Here's stuff I got Saturday.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaylaeff/2530354980/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaylaeff/2530353012/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaylaeff/2529534119/
And here's the anklet I finished for mom.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaylaeff/2530350874/
Today I stayed home from school for feminine reasons. It was pretty great. As I was writing a paper for my a.p. history class, God told me what he wants me to do with my life. It's kind of weird that he just put it in my head the way he did, but it was perfect timing. Youth minister. Although I don't know of any female youth ministers that exist, or if it's even possible, but I'll make it happen. Just call me Francois.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kaylaeff/2530404312/
(self portrait Tuesday!) Anyway, being a youth minister would allow me to be as creative as I want, and still use psychology, which my mother is still making me go for. I guess she won't be happy unless I'm making more money than her. Oh well, this idea is better than any of the ones that I've had. I'm so excited and I know I could put all of my talents and new found loves of certain hobbies to good use. It's funny to think, though, I used to hate kids and talking. I'm glad I'm getting over that so quickly.
But that was the highlight of my day. I spent the rest of it taking Zach to the doctor and watching him be baffled by his sewing machine. I love hand-stitching though. He and I have tons of ideas for our Etsy and I can't wait to get it started. We'll probably have everything set up within the next couple weeks, or at least I'm hoping.
Anyway, back to sewing!

“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.”- Acts 20:24

1-888-956-7273

2008-05-25T20:57:00.002-04:00

I never cleaned my room and I don't know where my mom's anklet went to. I still haven't finished it. Though, my mom gave me some of her old clothes. They'll all come in handy.
Today we went to Downtown West Palm Beach. I got a pair of shoes, an 'instant cup of flowers' (daisies!), some 'complaint' and 'just thought you should know' sticky notes, and tea tree therapy anticeptic cream and shea butter with lavender for my hives (which are working out pretty well so far). I really want some type of patchuli incence for my room.
I've been having some sinus problems, and I probably should've picked something up for that too. Yesterday I had some pretty bad nose bleeds, and I'm not sure why.
Zach and I are coming up with some pretty amazing ideas for our Etsy account. We need to make a paypal account and I've decided that I want to take pictures, acting out major happenings in my life; my way of coming out with some things I went through without having to explain anything.
I've been pretty bummed out today. I miss a lot of things, a lot of friends. Things are a lot different now, and I'm starting to see why I do and say the things that always seem to mess everything up, even more so now than I did before. Somehow, everything always leads up to my parents, haha. I looked though my old photobucket account, and 2006 was a good year. I miss it.
I'm really starting to lose who I am again due to my complete lack of motivation to do anything. I don't really know what I want right now.
I'm hungry and I'm tired and I hate having an unkept room. I think I'll sleep it all off.

Isle Of Her

2008-05-24T17:15:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was pretty cool minus the heat. Everybody was pretty excited about class day and before the dodgeball tournament, there was some wierd belly dancer girl dancing to Mexican music. Zach and I decided that Cory would look so much better doing it. I'm excited to finally be a senior, but I don't think I'd want the end of the year to come. I have a feeling that next year has a lot of surprises waiting for me.
My mom had her first "date" with her "boyfriend" of 2 years, so she was gone from about 7 last night until 9 this morning. I decided to go to Zach's to hang out with him and his mom and watch a couple movies. I enjoyed it and I'm pretty amazed with myself and my sneaking out skills. I'm always able to get so much past her.
It was rainy all day today so I literally laid in bed for the entire day. It was good to catch up on my sleep, but it felt kind of wrong not being productive. Hopefully it'll be enough to get me through this last week and a half of school.
I think I'll use the rest of my day to clean my room and run a couple errands, maybe make a couple bracelets too. They'll probably be the first things that Zach and I put on our Etsy. We really need to get that going.
I also need to find a camo shirt to make a 'seniors '09' shirt for Tuesday. Exams start Friday and I won't have to take 3 of the 7. Yay! This week, I really need to get together the beginnings of a group for Bible Study club and meet with Mr. Matchett. I think I'll make a list.
Well, more later.

Good Song, Amazing Video

2008-05-23T17:18:00.002-04:00

I hope this resembles my summer.

High School Low

2008-05-22T22:34:00.004-04:00

It feels later than it really is. I didn't do anything worth noting today other than turning in my paper and making a shirt of which I'll post pictures of tomorrow.
Zach and I found little boys Spiderman pajama pants to make into sleeves and sew on to a shirt that'll be dyed red to mach. Hopefully Zach will have the courage to do it soon.
I'm pretty excited about tomorrow, this summer, next school year, the future.
Tomorrow is class day! I'll officially be a senior and miss a bunch of my classes. Definitely something to look forward to.
I asked Mr. Matchett about having a Bible study club next year at school and he said he'd be happy to support me, but due to the separation of church and state, I'd have to run everything myself. I don't have a problem with that though.
I've been pretty confused about something for a while. Why are there different Church denominations? I mean, I understand that each one holds different beliefs, but 1 Corinthians 1:10 says “[Divisions in the Church] I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.” It all seems to be based off of ignorance.
Anyway, today's verse is:
You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.”- Galatians 5:13
Bed time.

Getting Better All The Time

2008-05-21T22:59:00.002-04:00

I don't really remember much about Monday or Tuesday. I've really been slacking.

All I've really been doingis running errands and making this shirt:I really like how it came out. Also, I never posted pictures of my art club shirt. I need to go back over the flowers again.The larger sizes on my Flickr look better. I think I want to make more ones with verses. I'm really enjoying it.

Hmm... I caught a spider yesterday. That was pretty epic. I also stood in line to buy one bag of cat litter for 40 minutes at WalMart. I ended up buying more bubblegum and a cooking magazine that I had enough time to entirely read, as well.

I'm going to start cooking as much as possible. I think I want to get a lunchbox next year and make myself lunches... and not boring sandwich ones either. I want to make a salmon thing this weekend. My mom should make me biscuits and gravy.

Kathleen's going to teach me how to make some pretty sweet bracelets, too.

10 more days left of school! I'm so excited. I really haven't been keeping up with anything schoolwise. I need to wake up early tomorrow and write a paper for my AP history class. I had a test in that class that I'm pretty sure I failed unless everyone else did poorly. Curves can be pretty amazing. I wish my anatomy teacher curved test grades. I think I missed quite a few on that test today too.

Yesterday I took a few pictures, when I was dyeing my shirt, that are all on my Flickr. I think this one is my favourite.

Zach and I are going to make some masks to match the leopard, lion, and she-wolf that are in The Divine Comedy. Zach checked it out for me from the public library since I've never had a library card and I'm not old enough to get one. On my 18th birthday, I want to go to get a library card, a blockbuster card, and a checking account.

I can't stop colouring and I need to go to bed. Pray for Zach, he's sick.

Night.

... And Does Anything I Say Seem Relevant At All?

2008-05-18T11:48:00.002-04:00

(postsecret.com)

Saturday my mom was out of town for the whole day and I really didn't have much to do. For the most part, I just sat around all day then visited Zach and went to WalMart/GoodWill. Fabric dye, Batman band aids, sharpies, TLC 'Waterfalls' single, watermelon bubblegum, and a few shirts. Watermelon bubblegum and Batman are my new favourites. Cartoon Network showed two movies with Batman, one with both Batman and Scooby Doo! Old Scooby Doo's are the best.

I was pretty upset that I didn't do much, but then I decided that I probably should just appreciate the opportunity to relax. There's so many things that I want to get done and so many things that my mother and school require me to do that I often overwhelm myself and end up not doing anything. This weekend I think I should devote a few hours to looking some things up in the Bible.

Yesterday, I did a lot of chores and ran some errands with my mom. I always hate it when she criticizes how I drive. The day ended with making chili and cupcake cones. I'm beginning to think that it might be a good idea just to stay here for a while. God will lead me to where I need to go, I guess.

Today, not only was I on time to school, but I got a lot of errands done. Although, I didn't do a lot of what I wanted to, I probably shouldn't think about that. Zach and I went to the library and he checked me out The Divine Comedy since I can't get a card yet myself. I'm pretty excited about starting it.

I can't wait until school's out. Two more weeks! Life will seem so much better.
I want to rent as many movies as I can find with Lillian Gish.

It's time to embrace Summer.

Elephantine

2008-05-16T21:30:00.003-04:00

I have a headache and I feel pretty tired. My hives are continuously spreading and I can't seem to find any good cures on the internet.

I don't recall mentioning the sheep heart dissection in anatomy on Wednesday. I was allowed to sit out, so there's not much to say about it. Though, a cross section was shoved in my face and it looked rather steak-like. It was covered in fat and really gross.

Yesterday I served my extended day, meaning I stayed 2 hours after school, ridding the ENTIRE campus of trash. The temperature must have at least reached 95 and I don't think I've felt that dehydrated in over 3 years. The punishment feels a little illegal, but it's definitely effective.

Today I got to school on time, but the shoes I wore made blisters on my heels; I've realized most of my shoes do this. I wasn't able to turn in any of my assignments because I didn't do them, but it didn't really bother me. I got to spend a little time with Zach after completing tons of chores. Taco Bell has a pretty sweet new slushie thing deal. I recomend the mango one.

I found a bracelet that I had made in middle school. Rainbow flowers are where it's at.

I'm starting to collect things in a cardboard box that were either given to me by friends or extended family, or that I bought myself. It'll make things more convinient when I want to leave in December.

It made me laugh when my mom came home crying because she was tired. If only she knew.

My mind never sleeps.

I want to read the original Bram Stoker's Dracula, rent monster movies, apply for a library card, get a job at GoodWill, plant a garden, find a good sea salt scrub, make a wind chime out of sea shells and a dream catcher, buy silly temporary tattoos and designate one for each and every day, go to Disney and buy tons of merchandise, alter clothing from thrift stores, find ink and a screen and start screen printing, buy sidewalk chalk and spray paint to write inspiring messages on things in town with, make tons of different kinds of rainbow bracelets, go to every museum in the state, make decorative cupcake cones, find a decayed spot and take self-portraits, make whatever comes to mind out of polymer modeling clay, find tons of different masks, buy a lomography fisheye camera, learn to cook something that is really difficult to cook, buy lawn flamingos and take pictures of them in peculiar spots, write a song on one of my guitars, tie dye anything and everything in every colour possible, make a flock of origami birds with flower-printed paper, paint and make necklaces out of sea shells, find heart-shaped sunglasses, fix up the vintage alarm clock I found in my shed, paint my nails something other than black, sleep.

My God knows just how to quiet my busy mind and set my restless soul at ease.

"... He will rejoice over you..." ... and he does.

"... You'd Leave With Nothing"

2008-05-16T00:00:00.002-04:00

In the end, my life's never turned out the way I wanted it to.
I don't know whether to let go and let my mother make all of my decisions for me, when I long for self-sufficience more than anything; or fight back, even though the effort would be futile, my labors bearing unfruitful.
It bothers me that she insists that this house and everything in it is hers, when it, and most of my things, were bought for me by my father. I'm starting to wonder how life would living with him compare.
I'm considering moving in with Zach and his family this December. I don't really know how that would turn out. I'll be praying.
It bothers me that she also insists that she is right about everything and that she knows everything. There has yet to be anything as far-fetched to reach my ears. Sometimes I wonder if she realizes how self-indulgent she is in her game of playing God with her only child. For the most part, I believe she is without God, only pretending to set an example.
I don't think I'll ever be perfect enough, alone enough, smart enough, nor as willing as she'd want me to be. She purposely makes me feel devalued every time we fight. I'm beginning to get more hives from this stress.
I want to make a shirt with Mathew 10:31 and sparrows.
I'm starting to read Ecclesiastes 11. Verses 7 through 10 are my favourites.
"Light is sweet, and it pleases the eyes to see the sun. However many years a man may live, let him enjoy them all. But let him remember the days of darkness, for they will be many. Everything to come is meaningless. Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment. So then, banish anxiety from your heart and cast off the troubles of your body, for youth and vigor are meaningless." Ecclesiastes 11:7-10
I'm glad I put up reminders around my room. Instead of letting go and letting mother, I think it's best if I let go and let God.
All I really want now to keep my mind at bay is a garden.

Whoops

2008-05-15T23:59:00.001-04:00

I haven't updated this in a while. I had a busy weekend, kind of.
Saturday my mother and I took her car to get serviced and have her actuator looked at. She had to come home with a loaner car for the week and she's pretty upset about that. She always complains about having to miss work... slash she complains about everything involving money. She worries too much and it doesn't change no matter how much I pray. It's really discouraging.
From the Lexus dealership we went to the Sawgrass Mills mall and got a few things. It's funny how the only things that ever appeals to me when I'm shopping are dresses haha. We had stopped to get smoothies and ran into my my mother's sister's family, so we went to visit them after dinner. We went to The Melting Pot for an early Mothers' Day dinner, which took forever to complete. My mother and I stayed at my aunt's house until midnight and didn't get home until about 2 am, my excuse for not updating Saturday. It was a decent day overall.
Sunday my mom had realized that she forgot her work keys in her car at the dealership, so she spent all morning retrieving them. When she got back, I drove us over to the beach in Jenson where we stayed for a couple hours. The water was the calmest and clearest I've ever seen an ocean look. It looked like one giant piece of glass and that piece of glass brought a lot of peace looking into it... or at least until mullet fish started swimming toward me. I hate my fear of fish. My fears seem almost absurd at times. Afterwards, we went to the mall to get new flip flops. Sometimes that area seems like such a nice place to live, but I think I'd much rather move to a place that already feels like home.
My cousin and I have decided to room together at Nova, since she's going as well. Although, she's a year behind me. I'll just worry about that when the time comes to move.
While I was there, my aunt gave me my birthday present since I hadn't seen them in about a year. It was a bunch of stuff from Hottopic and I was pretty amused. My interests have changed so much and so fast, I have no idea how anyone is able to keep up. The only sound satisfaction I've found thus far is Him, and I guess it's supposed to be that way.
My mom didn't seem to be that happy with her Mothers' Day present, but I liked it a lot.
(the website is being incredibly gay and won't let me add any pictures, so I'll just be adding links)
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2197/2493300983_5f26de08b2.jpg?v=0
My mother bought me a new clothing iron, so I finished my art club shirt. The tie dye didn't work out the way I wanted it to in the beginning, so I just tie dyed the whole thing. I really like it, I just want to make the colors brighter, so I'll take pictures of it when I do so.
I also put a bunch of new music up too... well, it's mostly The Acorn, but I love it.
Monday I sat around all day. I don't really like sitting around any more. But I was late to school that day... like 2.5 hours late haha. I'm tired of school.
I also tried to get another application from GoodWill, but the lady, who didn't speak very good English, said that there wasn't any. I think she was lying.
Yesterday Zach and I finally opened our Etsy account! Yay! We'll start posting things on it soon. The fees kind of suck, but I know it'll be a lot of fun.
At school, my flip flop broke, so I had to hobble to 3 dollar parking lot like an idiot. No fun.
It was self portrait Tuesday and I didn't take a picture. Bummout.
When I was at Zach's house that day, they got a phone call that (I guess) D.C.F. was going to take Zach's little adopted sister away from his family and give her back to her terrible mother who was just released from prison. It made me really sad to see Zach cry the way he did. I told my mom about it and she reminded me of when I was about to turn 3 and she got arrested for cocaine and a D.U.I.. I really don't know what would have happened to me if I didn't grow up with my own parents. Also, I don't really know how the officials could say that she won't remember this because she's too young. I remember my mother being taken away and having to stay with my grandparents. It's all just really upsetting. She means so much to them.
Today was pretty crazy. I was late to school again and was called up to the dean's office where I almost got expelled for all my tardies. I love Mrs. Cantral, even though I still have to have an "extended day". I don't feel like spending an extra two hours at school, picking up trash with my anatomy teacher.
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2096/2494119780_2ace15d683.jpg?v=0
I am always late to everything and I never get anything accomplished any more. That's about to change.
Mom asked me if I was sexually active for the first time today. It was so awkward... I loved it. Funniest thing EVER.
I love keeping up with the Johnny Cupcakes blog. He wears his own clothing too, which is pretty neat. I want to make some sort of clothing label the way he did. It always looks like so much fun and he takes some pretty neat pictures sometimes.
I want to do something that gets noticed. I want to do something that stands out. I have no motivation with the exception of these wants. Sometimes I think that my wants are unattainable for me because of this.
There's other little things I could discuss, but I've been working on this one update for a couple days and it's been at least 4 since I've last updated anything at all, so it's time to post this thing.

Words To Live By

2008-05-13T00:23:00.001-04:00

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”- Proverbs 31:30

I'll have an update in the morning.

Don't Get So Uptight

2008-05-10T11:46:00.000-04:00

I want to recreate this picture.

It's A Story That Makes Everybody Sad

2008-05-10T10:05:00.002-04:00

I really didn't do much yesterday... again. But that's okay because I had to take the a.p. national u.s. history exam (which I was late for!) and I didn't really want to do anything. That is the hardest test I ever plan on taking; 80 multiple choices and 3 essays. It took pretty much all day, so I plan on relaxing for the whole weekend.
Zach and I went to see the school play last night. They said it was their best preformance. I think I'll go again tonight if I can make it.
My mom's had quite the attitude lately. I really hope God helps her soon. She depends on no one but herself, and she's proud of that.
I've got a lot of things to figure out. Maybe I can convince my mom to take me to Nova's library so I can read the Bible a little since we're going to Ft. Lauderdale today. I find such peace in my future home.
I thank God for Joel everyday. I really don't know where I'd be without him.

Untitled

2008-05-08T22:36:00.005-04:00

For the past two days I haven't done much, but enough to keep me content. Yesterday I made this sweet rainbow bracelet from thread and elastic to make part of it stretchy enough to fit over my hand.

I also went to GoodWill with Zach to get his shirt for art club and I picked up a few more tapes for my car. I'm pretty stoked about the B52s one.

I've had this awkward happiness feeling in my gut and I don't know what God wants me to do right now. I guess I have to test it out to see if it's worth holding on to. It feels so strange though; I've never felt this sort of happiness before. I really just want to know the outcome of everything for the next few years so I know what to do with my life.
I put up some prayers on my prayer wall and put some in my prayer box, and ran a few errands.
Today we made shirts in art club. They all look so great. I'll post pictures of mine once I get it finished. Afterwards I took a short nap and some pictures of the back yard.
Andrew is dumb so I had to help him move out of his house, but in return he and Zach helped me make some charoset for tomorrow. I'll sure need it with that a.p. national exam that's scheduled to take up over half of my day.
I found the tabs for Kissing The Lipless by The Shins and I think I want to try it out tomorrow. If it works, I'll probably do a couple more.
Pictures will be taken tomorrow! I just hope a good setting isn't hard to get at.
I'm so hungry and I really need to get to bed. 5:30 am tomorrow!

Mac & cheese time!

2012

2008-05-08T00:55:00.002-04:00

It's been a good day, but in a strange way. But I'm happy, in a way I haven't ever been... and it feels good.
I'll type about today when I wake up in the morning.
I'm waiting for my mom to come home from a Kid Rock concert and it's almost 1 am.
I don't know if I can sleep without her here. I feel so vulnerable sleeping in an empty house.

Soul Seeker

2008-05-06T22:46:00.004-04:00

There are...

7 months until I turn 18.

13 months until I graduate high school.

39 months until I leave for 954.

... and I'm excited.

God's starting to restore the desire to go out and do things, thankfully. I REALLY need to find a way to not be tired every second of my life. It's super frustrating.

I had a terrible migraine today, so I didn't get much done. Actually, the only thing I got done was getting a sandwich. Well, aside from the tiny bit of laundry I did. I need to start using that planner again and do tons of things!

Tomorrow I want to go to GoodWill and buy/alter some things, wash my car, rent a couple movies, study for my a.p. exam, clean my room, and find a good place and take pictures.

These phases of being happy and not being happy with my life are really confusing. Maybe I should pray more. I want to read the Bible more, too. At art club Thursday, I'm going to present the idea of a Bible study group for the summer to the members.

I need a job really bad too. I filled out my application for GoodWill today, so I'll try to remember to return it to GoodWill.

I really can't wait to go to the beach again this weekend. I had forgotten how relaxing it is... I just need to remember to use the proper sunscreen haha.

Only one more month until the summer! I want to read the original Bram Stoker's Dracula; I didn't really understand it when I read it in 6th grade.

There are so many things I want to do now. I'll pray for them. I love being excited about living.

I pulled out one of my guitars today. I forgot how beautiful it sounds. (Self Portrait Tuesday #3)

My mom showed me some pictures from the 60's and I took some pictures of the "backyard".

Old septic tanks are nasty and they smell funny.

I want to draw again. I'm really inspired by these. We're having a lot of difficulty with the screenprinting in art, but we'll be making club shirts Thursday... somehow.

I'm really confused by today's verse; “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”- James 5:16

Does that mean we have to go to confessional? I'm so confused. Maybe I'll make some time to call Joel tomorrow, too.

It's bed time, though.

Night.

I Truely Am Unbrakable

2008-05-05T22:52:00.004-04:00

Today's verse was definitely meant for me;

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”- Philippians 4:6-7

Anxiety is probably the biggest problem I face. Another thing to add onto my prayer list.

In fact, I made a prayer wall tonight and put it next to my sketch from last week. I put a few up so far.

I don't really know what inspired me to make this, but I think I'll change out the big prayer notes with smaller ones so I can fit more in the space provided. I really like it though; it'll help me remember things.

I'm constantly amazed at the change and progress I've, or rather, God made within myself. I'm so happy that He's putting things together for me.

School was kind of strange today. I got a D on my anatomy test, something that doesn't happen often, and a friend of mine in my Spanish class asked me to the military ball. I'm terrible at rejecting people; I hate it.

Zach and I really didn't get much accomplished either. No errands, just a Taco Bell box and a moneyless trip to GoodWill. I found a couple more tapes. We'll need to go back soon.

Tomorrow he and I'll be taking pictures for self portrait Tuesday. I really need to see Bradley/Clayton/Kathleen/Sarah soon.
Mothers' day is soon. I plan on finishing this since I don't have any money.

I need to become more social and keep myself busy. Next year I think I want to join a new school club or two and this summer I want to start a bible study group. I'm starting to highlight some of my favourite verses that I think I can teach from in the Bible Joel and Josh got me. I plan on starting out with a group of people I'm comfortable with, probably a few girls from art club and Zach, before I start branching out. I may not move at a fast pace, but I get the job done.

I really wish I could talk to Joel more. I want a little guidance with it all.

Well it's past midnight. More tomorrow :)

Too Many Thorns

2008-05-05T00:01:00.003-04:00

So I haven't felt like typing these lately, although I really need to. I really need to get back to doing everything. I need to cook more, clean more, and do more assignments. I need to do everything more.
Yesterday I got the bulbs in my tail lights replaced and I also sanded and resurfaced my headlights all by myself! I rule. (before/after)
For the most part, I just sat around yesterday. There were some entertaining things on T.V., though. But I did make chili and give it to my dad. I don't think I'll ever love my father, even if I should. Self-pity is annoying and I don't like being told that remodeling the house is pointless because I'm going to get pregnant and run off with a "gypsy boy". I'll pray about it.

I took a short jog last night, too. Even if it was extremely short and it was during the evening, I enjoyed it. I probably should have been carrying mase haha.

The argue with I had with my mother when I had come home is starting to make me wonder how I could've possibly come from the parents that I have. Seven more months and I won't have to put up with my mother's agressiveness and telling God to damn me. Sometimes I truely think that Satan also impregnated a women with his spawn and the product is my mother.

Watching I Am Ledgend with her wasn't that bad, though... because she was asleep haha. It was a pretty good movie, but no where near original. Better movies should be made.

Today I went to the beach! My legs got terribly sunburnt and I decided that SPF 4 is not sufficient enough. The water was really nice, though. Ow!

Best mother-daughter bonding time is when we don't speak to eachother. She let me drive again, so I'm hoping I'll be able to drive out of town by myself soon. We went to Micheal's too! So Zach and I are probably going to be making crafty whatnot sometime.
I want to start a prayer group really bad right now. I also want this shirt really bad hahah

Tomorrow should be a busy day! I want to get as many things accomplished as possible.
Ice cream then off to bed!

P.S. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!

Phone Home

2008-05-03T10:13:00.002-04:00

I fell asleep watching E.T. last night. I love that movie. I think I want to rent it soon.
I really didn't do much yesterday; just dyed my hair, painted my toe and finger nails, and went out to eat with Mom. I'm pretty excited about the lack of blonde in my hair. It finally matches my eyebrows and I won't have to worry about dying any roots. It seems a little dark to be my natural hair colour, but it's probably because of the pale I've been working on for the past two years. I'm really happy with it though. I'm going to try to take pictures today as well as some of the back yard so far.
I'll type more later, I'm off to see the best gay uncle ever. Haha Fag hag '08.

By The Way...

2008-05-01T23:06:00.001-04:00

You should press the pause button on that sweet music in the top right corner of this page and check out this video. I love it :)

La Chupicabra? El Chupicabre?

2008-05-01T22:20:00.003-04:00

I have a terrible feeling in my stomach. It was a bad day.
I arrived late to my first class, not that I really care about being on time any more, and we spent the whole two hours discussing my teacher's financial problems. I rather would have carved out my eyes with a plastic spoon from the cafeteria. No art club; bummout. BK with Kathleen, Bradley, Sarah, Clayton and two orders of large fries. I made art on the tray paper, breaking Sarah's left over fries and smashing the grease out of them and onto the paper. I decided it would make an effective display for a getting healthy campaign.
I'm out of money and wondering how much I could save if I didn't eat any more. Ha more parking money! Yo necessito un trabajo.
Bradley is gone for the weekend and Clayton is never available, so I'm hoping to see Kathleen and Sarah sometime during the next few days.
I went to Zach's and watched Scooby Doo. Things need to be taken care of, El Chupicabro.
I met up with Kathleen and Sarah at the play and it was amazing! Becca was great! But I have to say, Harley was my favourite part. He's so tall and lanky and awkward, yet oddly charismatic, that he somehow was able to make me laugh during every song he danced in. Eljay was pretty hilarious too. I think I want to go again tomorrow, even though they didn't give very much recognition to the art club.
The construction people are starting to replace our septic tank and get the back yard ready for building. Today they tore down the back porch, the shed, a couple fences, and my tripod trees! It's actually kind of sad looking. I need to find another spot to take pictures, I guess.
I've got a lot on my mind, so I guess I need to pray about it all. I haven't eaten since 11 something this morning, almost 12 hours ago and I just realized it. Weird... I'm not all that hungry.
I'm fascinated at the odd and crazy things I'm attracted to. Sometimes I feel like looking completely ridiculous, but I ALWAYS do. Haha.
My body aches from doing different things all day. I have an appointment tomorrow at Michelle's. No more yucky blonde, yay!
Well, night.

In My Mind, I'm Everyone I Need

2008-04-30T22:14:00.003-04:00

The weekend is here and I can feel it! Tomorrow will be the last chance to put the final touches on things for the play, although I'm pretty sure we're already done. Maybe we can work on the mural! I'd have Sammy to help, so it wouldn't be so bad.
Today was progress report day, and I'm not sure how I feel about how I'm doing.
English 3 - A (YES! I haven't been sleeping haha)
AP American History - D (Yay! I'm not failing!)
Art 2 - A
Anatomy - F (I have a test to make up)
Intergrated Math 3 - C (I have assignments to turn in)
Spanish - B (WHAT?! This makes me sad)
I guess I'd have to see how I'm doing in about a week to really know what's going on with all of that.
Today was also jail and bail. It was super gay. I want to make our class' jail and bail ten times better than that, so I'm hoping to have one of next year's class officers in a class or two.
Everywhere I look, I see some couple getting engaged, or some kids kissing at school, a couple girls fighting over some boy, etc. It seems to me that the world sort of revolves around the idea of having some type of romantic partner. It makes me laugh a little because I know, and am comfortable admitting, that I was once a part of that. It seems so ridiculous to me now that anyone my age would even care about something as such. To get so worked up over something that has a 99% chance of just backfiring on you is, what I believe to be, a sign of insanity. I guess the world is that full of hopeless romantics. It seems to me that the world's (or at least what I've seen in this small portion of it) idea of love is a litte warped, keeping it restricted to the idea of some type of mate. My suggestion to them would be to look at this. I was thinking and I've come to the conclusion that I'd rather not be so inclined to put myself out there romantically for a boy; I'd be content staying busy, doing something that makes a difference for people, and I'm glad God gave me that desire to change my world and the apathy towards things I really don't need. It reminds me of the days in my freshman year that I wanted to become a nun and join the convent. Haha.
My tummy hurts. I probably shouldn't eat Milk Duds again. Oh well.
I took a 3 hour nap after I got home from art club and I don't know how I'm going to be able to get back to bed. I'll make it work somehow.
I'm excited for the weekend, even though I don't have plans and will probably end up staying home for the entire thing. No school is no school and that's all that counts. I think I'll want to sketch or maybe go take pictures of something pointless. Who knows.
I'm also excited about seeing the play tomorrow! I love the 40's and 50's, so I'm thinking I'll enjoy it, regardless of the turnout. It makes me want to rent Cry Baby. Maybe I'll do that this weekend.
I have a car full of soda and only one class to attend to tomorrow.
I need to wash that car and pester my mother about fixing it's broken tail light. She'll never get it done unless I continuously poke at her to do it.
Well, it's time to get ready for tomorrow and try to sleep!

"For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit[f] of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way" - Ephesians 15-23

I Had To Post These

2008-04-29T22:41:00.005-04:00

Political jokes are the best.

HAHAHAHA, silly Reverend Wright.

Stumbeline

2008-04-29T22:01:00.004-04:00

It's Tuesday and I didn't take a self portrait! Darn.
Today I was so caught up in the stress of trying to get things done by tomorrow in art club. The drama club's play, "Leader of the Pack", is Thursday, so we're having to cut music notes, records, and old cars out of cardboard (which is really hard!) and paint them. We got so much done today, even if we didn't have a lot of people show up. I guess I'll be staying after until 5:30 again tomorrow. I want to get the music notes laid out and painted on the mural by the play at 7 pm Thursday. I'm not sure if I can lay them out though, so I'll probably just have Matt do that tomorrow. Haha. We don't have much to do tomorrow, so I'm thinking we'll be done by 4-ish.
Exhausted by school and the 3.5 hours following it, I really didn't do much else. Got some laundry done and went to WalMart... twice! It's a good thing I like running errands.
I'm so tired and my body aches.
I turned in my essay for A.P.U.S.H. though! Only a day late when they're normally over a week. I'm kinda proud, even though the essay probably sucked. The new type of quizes Mr. Matchett is starting to give out is killing me. I did better today that I did Friday, but I still failed it with a 30. I made a "hat of failure" out of it before I handed it in.
It was kind of a bad day. I was 3 minutes late and I saw something I really didn't want to see. I guess God wanted me to see it and I have this feeling in my gut that it was important to my self-growth that I saw it. It bummed me out, but I'll be praying about it. I'm starting to notice that I pray more and more every day. It kind of makes me feel weird that I don't take time in the morning or evening and kneel by my bed to talk to God like I see everyone else doing. I always talk to him when I'm driving, walking to class, sitting around, or even in class. Sometimes I feel like the way I think and do things are a little too liberal.
People always see me mumbling prayers everywhere and I'm sure their thinking that I'm talking to myself and it makes me giggle.
I wish tape stuck for longer periods of time. Ever since I made that "You Are Relevant" banner, I've had trouble with it coming off of my door. I think Learning To Love You More specifically designed the project with instructions that wouldn't hold the banners on for long, making the maker continually have to put it back up and look about it, reminding them of the message it says. Sometimes I wonder if I make as much sense in other people's minds as I do my own.
Today I also realized that I spell theatre and litre different from everyone else. Made me feel kinda dumb.
Tomorrow is screenprinting day! Yay!
But for now, it's time to have another go at waking up early.
Night.

Been Rubbing A Bad Charm With Holy Fingers

2008-04-28T20:06:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was Sunday, meaning the PostSecret website was updated. Of all of the cards sent in that I've seen, this is my favourite:I've been wondering if who I used to be about a year ago was any better than who I am now. I seemed to be closer to God, but I've never felt so connected with Him that I can remember. The theory I'm starting to believe is that going in a forward motion, you can only improve.
I couldn't pull myself out of bed this morning. I wanted to get to bed by 9 tonight, but that'll never happen. I need to work more on my sleeping schedule.
I've got so much homework to do and I'm struggling with patience. High school road rage is not fun. Boys are idiots.
I wish I weren't so lazy! I need to find a way to get more efficient sleep so I won't be tired all of the time.
Maybe I will go to bed at 9 and just get up early and do everything then.
My cat will only stop meowing when I hold him. He likes my soup broth, too.
I've decided that next year it would be best that I carry a backpack... and I should probably carry my lunch to school as well. I'm obsessed with the idea of bento boxes:With my new found love of cooking, I'll probably have to give it a shot.
I've been so hungry lately and it upsets me to eat so much and wanting to lose weight. I must be growing again. Oh well, I wanted to be taller anyways.

It's 9:03! Another snack, a quick face washing and teeth brushing, then it's off to bed!

I'm trying to read the verse of the day everyday on BibleGateway.com. Today's verse is:
“Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross!”- Philippians 2:5-8

Enjoy the Shins I put up yesterday!

It's In Despair That I Find Faith

2008-04-27T21:33:00.005-04:00

It was another lazy day. I stayed home in my p.j.s all day and did chores. I also did this:(Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows. -Mathew 10:31 Old King Jame's version... yeah, that still is my favourite Bible.)

I'm not sure if I'm done with it, but that's definitely my new favourite verse. I thought it was pretty comforting, so I put it up on the wall in front of my desk in case I need a little reassurance. Funny how God always gives me what I need when I pray for it, and quick too!

I also came upon a new favourite song: "Art In Me" by Jars of Clay. They'll always be one of my all-time favourite bands.

Today I got to eat my leftover steak and mashed potatoes from the Cheesecake Factory and I'm still working on the litre and a half bottle of water we got from Whole Foods. It's got to be the biggest water bottle ever. I took a picutre of it next to a family-sized Lay's potatoe chip bag to show proportion. I'm fascinated by it's immenseness.

I'm pretty stoked about the shoes I got yesterday, too. Haha, I'm such a girl. Anyway, oxfords are the best and so are peacock feather hair clips.

I wish I could wear my latex leggings as pants, like I always do, at school. I'd probably wear them everyday.

Flickr's about gay as it gets. I struggle with patience.

Apples and granola all day every day. Yum.

I want to hang out with Kathleen more!

I didn't do my homework. HA! I hate it.

I need to clean my room again!

I'm going to try to get up a little before 5 tomorrow. I want to take a jog before I shower. Apples, granola, and soy chai protein; then shower, homework and off to school!

Goodnight.

"So I'm a little out of center,

I'm a little out of tune.

Some say I'm paranormal,

So I just bend their spoon.

Who wants to be ordinary

in a crazy mixed up world?

I don't care what they're saying

So what if I see the sunshine,

In the pouring rain?

Some people think I'm crazy.

They, they just read me wrong"

Let It Go

2008-04-26T23:26:00.003-04:00

Today went fairly well. I went to the mall with my mom instead of getting everything done that I had planned on. I still have all day tomorrow for that. Anyway, I'm pretty excited about the couple of things I got, especially this peacock feather hair thing that I'm probably going to wear everyday. Haha. Mom let me drive all the way their and back, and she bought me gas too! Pretty surprising. She and I always seem to feel closer after we see my father. He was here this morning to pick up some of his things. First time I've seen him in a couple months. He's starting to look better now that he's not so sick, but he still is very thin on the top and very very bulgy at the upper abdomen, which slopes inward as it gets closer to his bottom half in an awkward manner. I gave him my old desktop computer and will be making him some chili some time this week.
I don't really feel like eating anything but apples any more. I probably won't after tomorrow. I also need to start jogging again; might make me feel better about myself.
My longings make me physically ache. My prayer list gets longer and longer by the day.
I need to wash this mess off of my face before it hits my desk, fast asleep.
Night.

"Hi Boy!"

2008-04-26T11:06:00.002-04:00

It's 11 and I've been sleeping all day. I really don't feel like doing anything today. I kind of wish it was raining. I really wand ice cream too.

There's a lot I want to do today, though: fix a zipper pull, clean my bathroom, finish an anatomy assignment, write at least the beginning of a paper, watch he is legend with my mom.... and get ice cream! Haha. I think I'll put a little bleach on the vest I found yesterday. Oh, and water the flowers!

So, yesterday I got to talk to Joel. He told me to pray for some things. He's pretty good at giving advice. So I prayed and then Zach and I went over to a consignment store and GoodWill. We found an awesome denim vest, a couple plaid flannel shirts, some shoes, and a bunch of cassette tapes for my car since it doesn't have a c.d. player. We found this weird one, something about cannibals. Turned out to be awkward 80's music. The Ratt one's pretty neat, though.

After eating dinner with his family at Los Cocos, we took his little sister over to the playground and planted some flowers for assignment #36:A little boy came up to us, asking where our sons were and if he could help. I loved it.

I'm still praying for more, even though I probably shouldn't. Things are starting to look a little better, but I still think I'm supposed to be alone.

Time for a shower!

Sleepy Head

2008-04-25T21:41:00.001-04:00

I'm the tiredest I've been in quite some time (and it's not even 10!), so I'll update tomorrow morning.

Extraodanary, Blessed, Cursed, and Won

2008-04-24T23:58:00.004-04:00

I didn't really do anything important today, just art club and go to the art show at school. Blue ribbon, but not best in show; really not a surprise.
I get to feeling lonely sometimes, not really someone special, not really anything at all. God lets me fall, but today I realized, only to pick me back up again so that I can see how much I need him. I was thinking about all my losses, all my imperfections, everything that I lack; so I got on Bible Gateway. Today's verse of the day:
“For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.”- 1 Peter 1:18-19
I found it difficult to have patience today, so I'll be praying for that too. I used to think that being timid meant you were also humble and you could not have one without the other. Perceptions can change so fast, even without the guidance of another human being... and it reminds me of my purpose here.
Goodnight.

"And I fail
But when I can, I will
Try to understand
That when I can, I will"

Weak

2008-04-24T06:13:00.002-04:00

I didn't get to this last night because my nap at 6:30 had turned into complete sleep until this morning. Whoops.
Anyway, I need to get ready for school, so this'll be short.
Zach stayed home from school and missed Kaplan. Dumb. Kaplan was extremely boring and I drew a mustache on the turtle in one of the problems. It made it not so bad.
I stayed after school for art club. The mural's lookin' good! Matt and I should get more done durning my art class period.
I really didn't have anything to do at home so I made a pair of old jeans into shorts. Pair #2. It can get pretty addicting when you have a bunch of dumb flair-y pants.
After that I took my nap because I didn't really want to be home any more. People have been complaining about the weather lately, but I think seeing the Sun is a nice change. I'm tired of the rain.
Today is art club again. We're making our club shirts! Kristine wants to do tie-dye, so that should be fun.
Time to get ready! I need to leave early so I can get gas.
Uh... Happy Thursday! ...?

Lazy Day

2008-04-22T23:32:00.003-04:00

I wanted to go to bed earlier, but I can't seem to stop watching these ThreadBanger podcasts I put on my iPod.
Today was definitely a bust. I was pretty hyped on getting some things done with Zach, but I was a little confused about the plans and ended up sleeping until 5:30 because I had a tummy ache. BUMMOUT. Maybe I'll just do it tomorrow. But since I had felt like I wasted my day, I got some necessities that I had ran out of, such as lotion and tissues, at Wal-Mart. Somehow, it all totaled up to about $45 (I blame the $7 box of milk duds I bought for my mom) and my mother got a pretty mad. It seems that everything I did upset her today. Oh well. She's been a little... uhh... aggressive lately. I guess everyone has their moments. But I was thinking and typically, having such a difficult time with my mother, I would have felt pretty unwanted and unloved... but not today! God knew I needed a rapid change. He's making me tough for something amazing.
Anyway, I was sitting in Anatomy after I had finished my test thinking about how fun it would be to start a home for the homeless. I thought it would be pretty neat to take women off the streets, clean them up, and take them to job interviews. They could eventually start paying some type of rent once they found a steady job so I could cook them lots of food! Yay! We could do crafts and read the Bible and they eventually could save up enough money to move out and start a new life sorta. I think I'm pretty blessed with these crazy ideas, weird interests, and different ways of thinking and I LOVE IT. Yeah, I rule. Hard.
Today I did the assignment #27:

Today was also Tuesday, meaning it was self portrait day! Yay!

I'm pretty happy with the background. I think I'm doing pretty well without a photo-editing program and using trees as tripods. Note: All of the pictures I post up here are uploaded on to my Flickr account, which has a link somewhere on the right margin. Meaning the pictures, that typically get all pixilated from the size reformat on here, can be viewed in a larger size and in better quality. N3rd.

It's 12:04! Bed time!

Happy National Jelly Bean Day!

"For the spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life" - Job 33:4

You Better Not, Child

2008-04-21T22:56:00.004-04:00

I'm currently waiting for my 12-page paper to finish printing. I don't know how it go to 12 pages when everyone elses' was probably 2, 3 at most. But I finished! Yes! It feels so awfully late though. I wanted to be in bed by 10 and it's almost 11 now. I didn't finish reading a chapter that I need to make up a quiz for and will be on the exam tomorrow, but I'll try to do it tomorrow morning before I get to that class.
Reading all of this nonsense about the Labor Movement, especially about John D. Rockefeller and J.P. Morgan as well as others, made me think about how much this world is obsessed with money. It made me feel a little sick because I see this a little in everyone. I want to completely detach myself from this concept of money obsession, but I'm not really sure how to yet, so I'll just pray about it.
Anyway, this country is insane and far too complicated, end of story. I want to become more simple. I'm hoping that the more I pray, the more God will listen.
Unfortunately I spent all of my hours after school working on that darn paper. Although I did take several breaks to watch Thread Banger Podcasts. I want to make tons of things now. I can't wait to go to GoodWill tomorrow with Zach. Finally, the GoodWill trip I've been waiting for! Thrifting and crafting is always so much fun.
Probably the most exciting thing that happened today, aside from finishing the paper, was my cat running outside when my mom let the dog in, when my cat had no buisness being outside. Fortunately, my mother is a pro at coaxing kitties back into the house with canned cat food. He really does run things around here.
It's 11 and I haven't taken a shower yet. I'm super tired, so I guess I'll just take one in the morning. Getting up before 9 a.m. sucks so bad. I can't wait for summer!

Night night.

Second Passover?

2008-04-20T22:28:00.002-04:00

I'm so tired, so I'm going to try to make this as short as possible.

I went to my grandparents' house in Mount Dora today and took pictures of all the artwork in their home. I'll post them later when I figure out how to make them into a video so I don't have to use all of my remanding space on Flickr since I still don't have a pro account. Though I will post one from today...

We chatted and I took my laptop and worked on my A.P.U.S.H. paper. I did so much work on it today. I feel like it really kept me from enjoying the visit. I'll be turning it in on Tuesday, though. It'll be nice.

I was able to talk to Joel again today, which is, of course, always my favourite thing to do. We are baffled by this second Passover nonsense. I really wish an opportunity for him to move back to Florida would just happen already.

Zach and I planned on doing tons of things on Tuesday, so be ready for tons of pictures. I think I'm going to try to gather some change up to give to my mom in exchange for her letting me use her credit card to get a pro account. I could always use another account, but I'm not sure I'm fond of the idea of using more than one. Too many things to keep track of.

Anyway, that was my day and I really can't remember any other thoughts that I had today because of my sporadic naps I took, so I'm going to bed so I can wake up early in the morning and work on my paper or maybe study for Jeopardy in A.P.U.S.H.!

Who knows?

Goodnight.

!No me digas!

2008-04-19T22:51:00.008-04:00

I don't really have a lot of time to type an amazing entry, so I'll post Joel and I's first instant messenger conversation. It pretty much summarizes what's been going on. He seemed pretty excited about it.

Joel (4/19/2008 9:49:55 PM): Hey are you there
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:50:06 PM): silly joel, of course i am!
Joel (4/19/2008 9:50:31 PM): Nice I this is the first time i di this it is all 4 u
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:50:53 PM): haha yay!
Joel (4/19/2008 9:51:09 PM): How was yesterday?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:51:52 PM): ha it was pretty fun. the waves have been pretty fierce lately, but it was okay.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:52:31 PM): still hating work?
Joel (4/19/2008 9:53:09 PM): Yeah today kind of sucked at work. But i know God will help me find something else
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:53:31 PM): i have a feeling he will
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:53:41 PM): what happened today? anything unusual?
Joel (4/19/2008 9:54:39 PM): How nice. You type fast. No i just got cussed out and felt like i did not feel like fighting. So at times like that i just give up and want to leave, but i did not and made fun of the kids.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:55:15 PM): duh i type fast, i took a class in clerical occupations
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:55:30 PM): but that sucks about work
Joel (4/19/2008 9:55:56 PM): Yeah, I enjoy reading your blogs, they are pretty amazing!
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:56:34 PM): that's because i'm amazing, silly!
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:57:29 PM): although i really feel like i should be doing more with them
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:57:45 PM): like helping people but i don't really know how yet
Joel (4/19/2008 9:57:55 PM): Yeah it reminds me of a thing i used to do about processing a day P.A.C.E it stands for seeking where you saw God's presense, his activity, his calling, where he is extending the call. I hope that makes sense.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 9:58:22 PM): it does
Joel (4/19/2008 9:58:44 PM): Yeah it is all about seeing God in your day or event and having better ones.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:00:08 PM): it does help a lot, but it's kind of not fun because i'm a little too impatient to take it a day at a time, but i guess that's why i'm writing them. i just want the days to go faster.
Joel (4/19/2008 10:01:00 PM): But it seems like you are really thinking well about your days and you have a good concept of reality.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:01:47 PM): well that's nice to know! a lot of people seem to think otherwise
Joel (4/19/2008 10:02:34 PM): If you are typing fast and just writing your thoughts then you have a ton of wisdom and maturity that others don't see. I am proud.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:02:48 PM): yay!
Joel (4/19/2008 10:03:08 PM): How are you lately?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:03:24 PM): i guess i'm okay
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:03:33 PM): i've been fighting with my mom a lot
Joel (4/19/2008 10:03:57 PM): About?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:04:10 PM): i asked her to sign a permission paper for me today so i won't have a class first hour next year and she got really angry
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:04:19 PM): she always wants to push me too hard
Joel (4/19/2008 10:04:42 PM): YEAH, it seems like she won't quit i guess
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:04:50 PM): i really don't think i'm supposed to have some fancy career that makes tons of money
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:04:59 PM): i think i'm supposed to be happy
Joel (4/19/2008 10:05:43 PM): Couldn't hurt though. Yeah some say God made you to be holy, not happy. I believe both happens.
Joel(4/19/2008 10:07:26 PM): At some point you will have to follow God in your career path, but you have a ton of potential.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:07:54 PM): yeah that's what i meant... but like i really don't see the point in pushing myself to the point of insanity to bring up my gpa like .4 so i can get a job i won't be happy with just to make a lot of money and make my mom happy
Joel(4/19/2008 10:09:10 PM): Yeah you were meant for college though. I know that you will begin to become more independant and what you will value will be different from your moms values.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:10:30 PM): and today she took away my car until i read two huge things about the labor movement and write a paper about them and i have to do it by tonight... meaning i won't get to sleep because we're going to my grandparents in the morning in the orlando area
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:10:50 PM): advanced placement classes are stupid, joel
Joel (4/19/2008 10:11:08 PM): Why the labor movement?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:11:39 PM): it's for my american history advanced placement class. it's what we're currently studying
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:12:04 PM): we have to do these huge papers that count for 40% of our grade pretty much every week
Joel (4/19/2008 10:12:32 PM): Wow you will think college is easy
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:12:39 PM): probably
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:12:54 PM): but i can tell you i won't be taking any of these classes next year
Joel (4/19/2008 10:13:05 PM): Good
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:13:22 PM): not only because i don't want to, but because i've kept a consistant D average and they won't let me ahahha
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:13:40 PM): but i did sign up for bible 1 and 2 with the same teacher
Joel (4/19/2008 10:14:02 PM): That is making your mom mad, but thatis whatis best. Awsome you will love it
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:14:30 PM): i'm excited but i hope it won't be too hard
Joel (4/19/2008 10:14:48 PM): No you will just learn a good overview of the bible
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:15:22 PM): we've got this national a.p. test coming up in a month or two and it's supposedly the "hardest test we will ever take" and it's making me break out in hives
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:15:40 PM): i plan on reading my entire text book the week before hahah
Joel (4/19/2008 10:16:00 PM): What does it matter? You are awsome with out any test
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:16:22 PM): that's what i said but these old people like 'em for some reason
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:16:57 PM): i think i get college credit if i pass, but i'm just going to go to college any way
Joel (4/19/2008 10:17:23 PM): If you think it is valueable i know you will do well
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:17:50 PM): who knows joel, who knows
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:17:58 PM): but you know
Joel (4/19/2008 10:18:20 PM): Are you still bummed about Clint
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:19:44 PM): i was thinking the other day when i was driving home from school and i thought about how many things i want and i imagined myself in the shoes of people who have those things, success and whatnot, and i really didn't feel any different. i think that yearn for something will always be there and i should just be content with what i have and what i'm able to reach and not push myself
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:19:51 PM): kinda a little
Joel (4/19/2008 10:21:12 PM): Yeah I see that if you chase after what God desires satisfaction will come. Have you spoke to clint or r you done?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:21:41 PM): no, we don't speak at all
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:22:06 PM): but it's not really that i'm bummed because of clint, i'm bummed about the loss of a close friend
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:22:34 PM): i honestly feel like it could have been any one else if i had those same ties to them and i'd still feel the same way
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:22:44 PM): that and i feel really bad for him
Joel (4/19/2008 10:23:34 PM): Yeah i hope some how you guys could be at a peace but he needs to mature some
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:24:01 PM): well i guess you can't blame him, he's a boy ahah
Joel (4/19/2008 10:24:50 PM): Yeah it is true. Try to find out his im thing it epic something?
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:05 PM): but i don't know if i'd ever want to speak to him again after what he said
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:13 PM): oh yeah, it's epicrules1
Joel (4/19/2008 10:25:34 PM): Thanks, what did he say
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:41 PM): actually, he said:
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:45 PM): clint (4/14/2008 1:34:02 AM): hahaha glad you got all that out please try and stay away from me for the rest of your life, id really appreciate it, and try to get on some meds for your fucking craziness, everyones right ya know your fucking crazy ahahaha and fake, but yeah wish i had more time to laugh at you but i dont so cry a river
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:25:51 PM): etc, etc
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:26:58 PM): clint (4/14/2008 1:24:28 AM): i see the real you and im repulesd
Joel (4/19/2008 10:27:14 PM): Wow that was unexpected? I guess you should leave it alone.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:27:33 PM): that's what i'm telling you silly
Joel (4/19/2008 10:27:47 PM): Yeah I am dumb.
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:27:48 PM): he's kinda... uhhh... not someone i'd ever want to be friends with again
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:27:53 PM): no you're not!
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:28:00 PM): you're joel the bear!
Joel (4/19/2008 10:28:42 PM): I am i got to go hibernate because i have to go to work early. This is cool though!
Dr Awesome (4/19/2008 10:29:06 PM): okay joely. i'll talk to you later then! goodnight

As awkward as it sounds, I've been crying an awful lot lately, but not because I'm sad; because for the first time I actually feel cared about and loved. I don't know why it took me this long to feel this, God's always been there, but it I've got to say, it's the greatest feeling in the world.
I've got this large list of things I want to get done in the next few days.
After tidying up my room a little, I put up the prints I had done last quarter in art class on the inside of a cabinet door in my room. They look horrid because they didn't line up right, but I still love them anyway.

It's time to work on that paper!

But first, I did assignment #51:

First, it seems neccisary to have my body go through some type of typical preserving or embalming process. After I would like to be completely covered in several layers of white paint, nude, to make a sort of canvas. Then I would want my friends to recreate their favourite piece of art work that I had done while I was alive in acrylic paint, using small detail brushes. Once my body was completely covered in my friends' renditions of my art, I would want to be dropped into the bottom of lake Okeechobee to decompose.

Tag-Tag

2008-04-19T12:12:00.003-04:00

I'm so tired. Bradley, Clayton, and I went to the Vero beach yesterday was pretty fun, even though the waves would push me over every 2 seconds. We buried Clayton in the sand. Very funny. The water was super cold and we all got sand pretty much everywhere. Later we went to some restaurant and I told Clayton the story. Epic. We stayed at some lodge. I refuse to sleep in the same bed as Bradley's mom. The floor wasn't that bad.
Being with them always makes me feel the complete opposite of vain for some reason.
I've been so content with everything it's starting to seem surreal.
No pictures, unfortunately.
I napped the whole drive home to Q And Not U. Still tired. I guess I'll take some stuff over to the consignment store (again) then come home and start working on that paper that was due last Monday until I can't stay awake any longer. I don't know why we've been getting rid of so much stuff, but I guess it's a good thing.
I need a new bathing suit. I've kinda grown since I got the one I have about a year and a half ago.
Well, I guess I'll update again tonight.

Communist Tasty Church

2008-04-17T23:05:00.004-04:00

I haven't been feeling very productive lately. I need to get on that.

For the past two days, I've gotten home a little after 5 pm from school (we're closer to finishing the mural!) and then taken a nap. Actually, I've been napping a lot more often again, making it feel like I'm sleeping the day away.

My next year class scheduling at 7:30 this morning (I was on time!) made me realize that I need to focus more on school. I'm not going to get any where with a 2.644 cumulative g.p.a. Then again, I probably shouldn't worry about that. If God wants me to do something, he'll take care of it. I really don't feel like he wants me to go into psychology/criminal justice. I'm meant to create things with my hands. I hope he shows me some sort of path by the time I complete my basics at I.R.C.C. or if I can get over to Broward Community Collage at Nova Southeastern University. Whatever it is that I'm supposed to be doing with my life has nothing to do with this modern Sodom I live in.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to the beach directly after school with Bradley and Clayton then staying at Brad's mom's whatever it is for the night, meaning I won't be able to update tomorrow... bummout. It'll still be tons of fun with those two.

Not much other news. I transformed an ordinary cardboard box this pretty sweet recycling box for my room.

Then my cat started meowing. He had both food and water so I was a little confused and decided to carry him to my room where he immediately jumped onto my computer chair and started chewing his toes. I found this hilarious and took a picture.
I also subscribed to the Thread Banger podcasts on iTunes and downloaded all 50 existing episodes, putting them on the 'pod. I'm hoping to watch them in my free time and maybe put them to good use making something... or something.
I want to get up early again tomorrow. I found this neat setting on my phone that makes the alarm ring Monday - Friday haha. I'm fascinated.

Going to bed a half hour or hour earlier than I have been lately. Yay!

Night.

Food For Thought

2008-04-16T23:23:00.001-04:00

"When I discovered your words, I ate them. They are my joy and my heart's delight." - Jeremiah 15:16

Fever Sleeves

2008-04-16T22:39:00.003-04:00

Another average day. Tonight was chili and pie night. Gosh, do I love to cook.
No pictires today.
I didn't get around to going to GoodWill because after art club, I had realized that I didn't have my car key in my bag. I thought I had locked it in my car, so after Ms. T. had called AAA, I realized that my key was indeed in my car, but my car wasn't locked. Rather irresposible of me, but still funny. Anyway, Zach had left after I couldn't find my keys and I really didn't feel like going there by myself. I'm hoping Stephanie will be available tomorrow.
The mural we're working on in art is going really well. I didn't want to stop working on it! I'm excited to finish it. Hopefully, we'll be closer tomorrow.
I have to remember that I have to be at school early tomorrow! Scheduling at 7:30. I think I'll set three separate alarms to make sure I wake up in time. I don't understand why I signed up for that time slot. I mean, I don't really think I can afford to miss a class, but getting up early is just no fun. Becoming a responsible adult is hard. Growing pains for sure.
I miss Joel. Even though it doesn't really seem like I've known Joel for a while, I've become really attached to him. He feels more like a father-figure to me and no one likes having their dad that far away from home. I hope God allows him to move back closer to Okeechobee.

I'm so tired. Shower time.

Colder

2008-04-15T22:21:00.002-04:00

It was freezing today. It made walking from three-dollar parking to my class suck, but I still got there on time.
Today was one of my laziest days in some time. I didn't do any homework, I didn't go to GoodWill, I didn't clean my bathroom, and I didn't cook. I really wish I would've cooked that chili since it was so cold outside today, but there's always tomorrow. I probably would have, but I really didn't feel like being in public much today after seeing my father's family at Walmart. I think I'll look up a desert recipe as well. Stephanie should be free tomorrow also, so I'll have a GoodWill goin' buddy. I need to start doing everything by myself, though... even if it is no fun. And I WILL clean my bathroom tomorrow!
Walking into my art class, I was really excited to start the print making on a piece of canvas I was hoping on starting. My teacher wants me to do silk screening instead. It's a bit intimidating never have done silk screening and it being an awfully large project. I really just wanted to make canvas prints, but it'd probably be a good idea to try something new and difficult. I just don't want to haha.
The realization of the day was that it's okay to be myself. For years I used to avoid certain bands or really anything because everyone else liked it or the "cooler" people frowned upon it. Today I felt more comfortable with myself than I ever have. For the first time I can honestly say that I don't care about how any one person feels about me. Weird how these things hit me so arbitrarily.
Even though it's only Tuesday I'm so excited for the weekend.
Speaking of Tuesdays, I joined a Flickr group, "Self Portrait Tuesdays". It seems like it'll be a lot of fun to keep up with. Here's my first one; I was rather impressed with it, especially since I used tree branches as a tripod.

Time to wash the dishes and head off to bed.

Scratch Your Name In My Side

2008-04-14T21:36:00.002-04:00

I was going to post the lyrics to the song I wrote sometime last week on here, but then I decided otherwise. I think that once I put it to some music, if I feel comfortable enough, I might play and record it with my camera and then upload and post it here. I should probably do that anyway; it would most likely help me on that journey.
This morning was horrid. I succumbed to loss for someone who had no relevance to me. I feel so bad for them and their pain that caused them to transform into a creep. I'll be praying that they don't end up a serial killer or in Hell... or both.
I also wasn't able to get to school until about noon. Having only two classes for the day wasn't that bad though.
Afterwards, I came home, talked to Whit, then took some things to the consignment and GoodWill. When I was done I hung out with Stephanie, Zach, and Andrew for a few hours at GoodWill (which I want to go back to tomorrow. I feel like I can get pretty crafty there.) and Taco Bell, where I got that new box thing. I wasn't surprised that I ate 90% of it.
Andrew decided that we were going to Walmart after that so he could meet up with his cousin. Distracted talking to Josh and Adam in the parking lot, I lost him and left him. I hope his cousin gave him that ride home I was going to give him. Haha, I felt like a jerk, but I couldn't find him anywhere in the store.
If you've never heard of Two Hours Traffic or Sweet Thing, I'd recommend you look them up. The Verge (XM 52) is a really great radio station. It always has the best indie.
I never got to clean my bathroom. I think I'll stay home tomorrow after I go to GoodWill and buy some more root beer and cream soda from Walmart.
I guess I'm going to do those papers tonight that I didn't get to this morning. Or at least start them.
But, before I go, I did another assignment. I want to do them as often as possible.
Assignment #11:

I know it's really hard to see in the picture, but it's just a small, pink line on the right side of my left hand. Three years ago, when I was in 8th grade I was skipping youth group to hang out at a friend's house. I don't really remember why, but I was sitting on their bed and decided to start scratching my hand with my fingernail. I didn't stop until the entire exterior surface of my epidermis was gone in that spot, leaving a dark pink, fleshy wound that left a scab that lasted for months. I'm pretty surprised that scar's still there.

This recent confusion has been a minor set back. I'll overcome this apathy and find that joy again.

'Til tomorrow.

"To Hell With the Yankees! Dammit, I Mean the Spaniards!"

2008-04-13T20:14:00.000-04:00

Today I learned how to be content with the things I have. Like every typical teenage girl, I usually get tired of the clothes in my closet every time the season changes. I've been feeling a little guilty about this for the past couple of weeks, wanting to go buy new clothes constantly. So after putting away some laundry I had noticed a couple pieces that I don't typically wear any more and wondered how they'd look together. This turned into a two hour remix of things that I haven't worn in months and things that I usually wear that don't seem like a likely pair. I noticed that I actually had stuff that I liked. I started to notice this with the things around me that I've decided to keep this weekend. I've been applying this to more than just material things and I no longer feel so guilty.
I also gained a bit of patience today through prayer. I was astonished at the instant gratification I received. These past few days have been so incredible. I don't remember ever being this happy in the past few years.
Aside from that, it was a pretty average day, though, not boring. I spent another hour bringing out things from my room to the storage bins and went to Walmart for groceries where I ran into Josh pushing carts. It's always nice to say hi to Josh.
I really didn't get much school work done. I spent a lot of time here trying to take pictures of the Sun for a LTLYM assignment, but it seemed to had been hiding. I did read a chapter for APUSH, but I have two papers to complete for that class tonight. I guess I'll study for my Anatomy test during Art, even though I was so looking forward to creating an Andy Warhol-inspired painting using Dita Von Teese as my model. I love Dita. I'll probably only end up writing one or a little of both and finishing them tomorrow morning... Or I could just do both tomorrow. I'm such a procrastinator. I don't really like it all that much any more.

Time to prepare for bed if I plan on waking up early.
Night.

I'm Not Arrogant, I Just Love How Awesome I Am

2008-04-13T13:42:00.000-04:00

He's making me tough for something special, I just have to wait to see what it is.

Sometimes I feel like He loves me more than everyone else ;)

Caring Is Creepy

2008-04-12T22:36:00.001-04:00

So, overall, today was pretty epic... in a good way. For the first time since I was probably a baby - no joke - my room is dusted, vacuumed, and organized from the tops of my shelves to under my bed to inside all drawers to my cabinet thing. The recycling bins are full and the side door to my house is blocked from even more. There was a bag of garbage thrown away and three or four bags for GoodWill and consignment. I seriously must have gotten rid of at least half of the junk that was in here. I also have two huge tubs full of things that I don't use put away for storage so there's less to move when it's time to start construction on this side of the house. I'm so excited to redecorate my future room; I think I've got some pretty neat ideas.

All of the shelves in my room are completely empty aside from a coin jar and a small bank my mother made me when I was little. It feels so empty with everything missing from the shelves. I want to take them all down and put pieces of art in their place.
I found a lot of cool things too, like prayer journals and booklets from different youth services and activities when I went to Oakview Baptist Church. I also found stacks and stacks of doodles and notes, my prayer box, and a diabetes prevention planner that my mother bought me last year - she's convinced my hypoglycemia will one day escalate into type two diabetes because of my lack of a good diet and "good" exercise. I think she just worries too much.
Finding all of my things from Oakview made me miss having a home church. If only Okeechobee didn't suck. I really think a lot of the people here are a little backwards and all of the other youth groups I've tried to be involved in seemed kind of like a non-accepting clique.
Anyway, the project took me collectively about thirteen hours to complete. I actually cleaned for 8 consecutive hours today; from 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. I wish I would've had more time to complete other smaller tasks, but I did get a two hour nap in! So maybe I'll work on something tonight since I'll probably be up later.

I seriously went all out today, vacuuming the dust from my curtains, lint-rolling pillows, and washing out the inside of my garbage can. It feels good. I also washed my bed sheet, found some clean pillow cases, and plan on taking my comforter to the dry cleaners on Monday.

I took an after video. I think I'm going to ask Becca to upload it and the pre-cleaning video to one of my accounts tomorrow when I go to borrow a book if I don't go to my grandparent's house.
Going through my things I thought about how much Derek's impacted my life. I've changed so much since that September. I'm starting to feel like God wanted it to happen to me. I'm starting to feel glad that it happened. Well, not really glad, but it's caused a lot of positive turn around. Who I was was completely centered on what I had done, or rather, what I hadn't. Although I was pretty down about it, I saw the changes even then. Good ol' Joel; thank God for Joel and his pep-talk that made me realize that it wasn't the end of the world. I am relevant and I have a purpose... somewhere. It feels so good to actually do things for myself and not depend on someone else.

On a less serious note, I made a peacock out of a dollar bill! Haha. I had found this dollar origami book and decided that I needed to take a 20 minute break and make a peacock.

I also had finally decorated my Munny Kathleen gave me in January last week and I feel like posting a few pictures because Tara's the only one who's yet to see it. He has roller skates. Here's more pictures from the aquarium. There would be more but my camera shut off in the middle of Flickr's processing the pictures.Those critters were so fun to take pictures of. I couldn't find the story that was supposed to be on MSNBC that I saw a preview for on Channel One at school. It was upsetting.

Second assignment next week!

No more sick-y me! Hurrah.

I need to drink more water.

... and a pro Flickr account.

30 old c.d.s were added to the 'pod. Epic.

Organic Fuji apples are good for the soul.

The Shins are the greatest band ever.

Can spring cleaning be an obsession?

I want a cook book.
I'm convinced I'd make the perfect housewife. Haha.
Shower time.

Night.

The Mortality of My Morals

2008-04-12T01:01:00.000-04:00

I completed my first assignment! Horrah! It took quite some time to accomplish, though. I decided to start out in baby steps, choosing assignment #63 and hanging it on my bedroom door. Glue didn't work so I had to use tape... a lot of tape. I also made a small bag of confetti with the bits of leftover paper that I'm not really sure when I'll use, but it'll be some time I actually feel relevant. I think feeling relevant is important and worth celebrating. Joel told me I was relevant earlier this week, so that's how I decided what I'd make my banner about.
It may not be the prettiest, but it serves a purpose.

I've been getting more and more sick the past couple days being around my sick mother. I guess she's getting me back for when I had gotten her sick back in January. The nasal drippage has caused me to be a lot less hungry than I normally am. I always feel like I loose too much weight when I'm sick. The sneezing is the worst part, though. I'm out of tissues and I probably need to wash my bed sheets.

I saw Tara today! It was really nice seeing her again. It's always nice to see her, especially now that she lives over two (... or is it three?) hours away.

I didn't really get much accomplished school-wise today and they won't let me buy a parking spot because I've gotten 10 tardys in the what? 200 or so days that I attend school a year. So I'll be playing catch-up tomorrow with my studies and starting to ask my mom for money to park in three-dollar parking everyday. Three-dollar parking isn't as expensive as everyone thinks it is; it's a lot cheaper than the $50 my mom was paying people to take me to school every week. On the bright side, I did manage to get to my first class on time! That's a real accomplishment for me.

While I was waiting on Tara, I began to clean my room rather thoroughly, more so than I ever have. I took a video of the mess before I started, but am having difficulties uploading it. I'll have someone else upload it for me as well as one of the result of my hard work once I finish... tomorrow?

I also started writing a song today. There's something about putting feelings into metaphores that makes things seem like they have a lot more hope. I hope to finish it tomorrow and maybe playing a little accoustic guitar with it. So much better than writing poetry or sappy diary entries.

Time for bed, but first, here are a couple pictures from the Florida Aquarium in Tampa:

Hey look! I'm a hermit!

Night.

Day Two

2008-04-10T21:26:00.000-04:00

Unfortunately, I ended up sleeping an extra three hours, making my intended one hour nap a four hour nap. Meaning, I was unable to do my first assignment today. I guess that'll be on the list for tomorrow, the list that never seems to stop growing. This weekend will be a busy weekend; but I'm supposed to be going to my grandmother's house in Mount Dora Sunday, so I don't know if I'll get it all done.
My mom's been sick since last week and I'm beginning to feel worse and worse myself. She's missed work at Brighton every day so far this week, so I'm hoping she'll feel okay enough to go tomorrow so I don't have to see her here when I'm home. My car is being taken away for the weekend because of cerfew violations. She worries way too much for someone who constantly implies that they could care less.
I was going to at least upload some pictures I took from the art club feild trip yesterday that I took at the aquarium in Tampa, but I can't seem to find the USB cord for it. It was a fun feild trip, though. We also went to the Salvadore Dali art museum; he seemed too be quite the influence for a lot of modern art. I can't wait for our next feild trip in May.
I have yet to eat anything today aside from a few twizzlers, and I feel like cooking. Unfortunately it's 9:47, too late for cooking. It's Tara day tomorrow, so maybe I'll cook after school. I guesss I'll eat leftovers from when I cooked last week; the person I cooked them for won't be back... bummout.
More things to do: start other small projects such as becoming healthier and preparing my room for construction and record my progress here as well. I'm planning on making this journey to self-improvement well-rounded and not just focused on one thing or just doing assignments from LearningtoLoveYouMore. I also need to work on doing a lot more art in my free time once my I have cleaned my mess of a room instead of sleeping to escape the jungle it's become.

Anyway, I'm really hungry, so I'll post something interesting tomorrow.

First Entry

2008-04-09T23:05:00.000-04:00

My first blog... and I'm not really sure what to say. It's actually pretty late, but it was a horrible day, so I probably need to start this. For the past few days, I've been so excited to start this project. Some time ago I stumbled upon LearningtoLoveYouMore.com, which is a wonderful website that provides those who accept the challenge of improving one's self an assignment with the ultimate goal of just what the website's URL says, teaching those who struggle, and even those who don't, to love themselves more.
Attempting to become less of a homebody, I've realized how alone I am in this world, and me being so needy hasn't had the easiest of times coping. I've come to the conclusion that no one is going to make me feel better about myself but me, no one is going to teach me how to be a better person but me, and that at the end of this project, no one will be able to judge me but me. I have to learn to become my own hero, care about myself as much as I deserve to be cared about, and teach myself every social and self-developmental skill that I lack. I'm excited to be starting this project because it's a great starting point on my journey to self-improvement, which is excatly what I think I need.
For this project I will try to do as many assignments as I can (or at least the ones I see fit) from LearningtoLoveYouMore.com. I also plan on creating a new Flickr account as well as some other new internet accounts that I will make and post links for on a later day. I want to use these accounts to mark my progess and to have a little fun with it along the way.
I'm hoping to also use this journey to maybe help some others with their own internal conflict, and to let my friends and family know how I'm doing with my journey.
And so, I hope to have this whole blog thing situated by tomorrow as well as having a couple new accounts, some links up for them and my first assignment completed with pictures and another blog entry.

So good night, it's awefully late.